The Rugrats Weddings
by Nftnat
Summary: Old hurts surface to endanger happiness; you'll see. Chapter 14.
1. Background

Surprise surprise I now have the beginning of a Rugrats fanfic on here. And no one's more surprised than me that's it's on here so soon. Don't worry; I'm still working on The Brainy Saga over in the Hey Arnold! section & the next part should be up soon. But while I've been working on it I've been working on this too; that comes from having all your fics in one document. So while I've been tinkering with that other thing I've been tinkering with this & today I noticed it was done so I figured I might as well send it in. Just lemme know what y'all think, y'know, the usual read & review stuff.   
  
Rugrats is created & / or owned by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.   
  
  
Remember All Growed Up? Well, so do the Rugrats; for them it was 15 years ago. Which means they are in their 20's by now. Now being 2018, a few years after college. Dil is 25 now, Angelica Susie & Timmy 28, Chuckie 27, & the others 26. Through high school & college they'd been through a few hard times --- they wouldn't be human if they hadn't --- but somewhere along the way they figured out that whatever they decided to do individually, they would have a better chance of success if they stuck together, & so they did. The friends are as close now as they were when they were babies, & closer. And as it turned out, they had figured right; success has found every one of them.   
Tom Pickles rode his arm to a football scholarship in college, but found his calling in engineering. He kept playing to keep his scholarship --- quite well you might say, earning an All-American honor & two bowl wins. He was even a finalist for the Heisman his senior year. Meanwhile, he somehow found the time to indulge his lifelong passion for how things work. He would've been as happy at one of the DeVry schools, if he could've taken his friends with him. After he graduated he was offered a vice-presidential position at Pickles Toys, an offer which came from his father. That turned out to be the best move in the history of the company, as with Tom managing the business bugs in his father's inventions took a nosedive to almost nothing. Toys more suited to what children really wanted were produced too, as Tom had never lost his childlike outlook on life. No more Mr. Friends from this company!   
Chuckie had always shown potential as the brain of the group. His prospects had come to fruition in college. He was a bit unsettled at first, a little out of focus. He went from major to major, interest to interest; he even went through a bit of an Abbie Hoffman phase, beard & all. But by sophomore year he'd settled down, & chosen to apply himself to law, contract law to be precise. He'd found his calling, becoming one of the best contract lawyers in the country. Remember Markowitz' eulogy for Norm Chaney in the pilot episode of L.A. Law? That was C.C. "Chuck" Finster to a T, one of the best, most thorough, most knowledgeable experts at contract law in the business. It goes without saying that as soon as he passed the bar --- on the first try --- he got offers from numerous high-powered law firms from across the country. But he was no exception to this tightly-knit group of friends, & had no desire to venture very far afield. A year, maybe two, after graduating, he became an agent in the sports & entertainment fields, with a very select clientele.   
Phil & Lil found their calling in the theater. With Lil's thespian bent & Phil's flair for comedy, they proved to be naturals. Their acting careers were poised to take off as they had attained local & regional recognition for their acting skills, garnering numerous awards & attracting notice from Hollywood to Broadway. But they found themselves stifled with the limitations placed on their creative energies in the drama department. After college, they were bent on making their own niche which would fulfill both their acting bugs and their taste for adventure. But more about that later.   
Cousin Angelica, it seems, had been yet another one to fulfill her destiny. While her demeanor toward her cousin & his friends had turned friendly, her acquisitive instincts were still present & stood her in good stead in a jet-setting globetrotting position with MergeCorp, the same company of which her mother had by now risen to the position of chairperson of the board. A lifetime of overindulging in candy cake & cookies had finally caught up with her, tho, as she now copes with diabetes; but she copes with it quite well, thanks to her husband looking out for her. Husband? Yes, she finally snagged Timmy McNulty, marrying him right out of college. Neither of them thought of their marriage as a merger, never mind that he happened to be the oldest scion & heir to the family estate of his grandfather Conan McNulty, old archrival to Angelica's grandfather Lou. But despite the apparent business union Angelica & Timmy are by all accounts, including their own, very much in love. He turned out to be the ideal husband, anticipating her every need almost before she had them.   
Angelica's best friend & rival Susie Carmichael had also followed her mother's career path. She followed the usual path for medical students / doctors; finishing college at 22, medical school at 26, & her internship at 27. By now she is well into her residency, although she has recently landed an excellent job as medical consultant on a tv show.   
Baby Dillon had also found success. Although he followed his brother as high school quarterback, he preferred baseball to football. Which worked to his advantage as he attracted widespread attention as a pitcher & was scouted by several teams when he was still in high school. His pitch attracted attention throughout organized baseball, almost as much attention as his lack of control. But with proper coaching he got that under control, & better things followed. He could have turned pro directly out of high school were it not for a ruckus raised by his mother. Oh well, that only meant more time for him to hone his skills. As a scout for the Yankees once told him, "Son, that's a dangerous weapon you have there; a brain could make it lethal." He rode his pitching arm to success in college as well, taking his team to the College World Series as well as pitching Team USA to a gold medal in the Olympics. That's not all he did in college; he did well in his studies. He also dabbled in a number of extracurricular activities --- such as an aborted hip-hop act with the Devilles, 'Il'n' --- but the less said about those things, the better. Drafted straight out of college, he is one of the rising stars in Major League Baseball & one of the top free agents in the current signing period.   
Kimi also pursued an athletic career. In high school & college she channeled her boundless energy & utter fearlessness into success in both track & field. Like Dil, she took her success all the way to the Olympics. At the Olympiad, her joy & enthusiasm captured the hearts of tens of millions, earning recognition as a sort of mini-Mary Lou & bringing in numerous commercial endorsement offers, through which she successfully navigated with the guidance of her big brother. Since graduation she has turned professional with her running & gymnastics, but her preferred career is that of personal trainer.   
The above marks the individual successes of the group, but their biggest success has been together, which is no surprise. And it centers on the Devilles. Once the group had graduated they figured that whatever they were going to do they wanted to do something together. Phil & Lil were as adventurous as ever, and they were determined to pursue careers in entertainment while remaining true to their own sense of what was right for them. Of course they had help from their friends; even though Tommy & Kimi had careers of their own they wanted to contribute to whatever the twins did, as did Chuckie, who soon found himself in the position of managing the careers of his friends. He set to work, and found help from other, older friends. Making use of the big business contacts of Angelica's mother & the show business contacts of Susie's father, he worked with the twins to create a show custom made for their unique acting style. Within months of the group's graduation from college, DareDevilles was launched into syndication. It's an action adventure reality show in which Phil & Lil go to exotic locations around the world & engage in stunts no one else would even try, from walking tightropes across an arm of the Dead Sea to waterskiing across Lake Titicaca to collecting tsetse flies. With Chuckie as their agent (as well as agent to Dil), money is pouring in. Corporate sponsorships have beset the show, including of course the Cadillac division of General Motors, which has treated the twin stars to twin Fleetwood Devilles straight off the assembly line every year. DareDevilles is now the top syndicated program in America & is about to go worldwide. Regular guests on DareDevilles are Tom Pickles of Pickles Toys (the company that makes much of the equipment used on the show), & Kamikaze Kimi --- sorry, Mrs. F., she made us say it --- (their personal trainer, who gets the hosts in the best shape possible to withstand their crazy stunts). And helping to patch them up after the show is their medical consultant, Dr. Susie Carmichael. Yes, this has truly become a group project; in fact, the six of them gather around a table before during & after every taping to talk about anything & everything that's going on in their lives as well as to conduct business. Of course they could do that at almost any time, as the six of them live in the same house near the show's headquarters. It's a duplex they've dubbed Fort DareDeville, a step up from the dorm rooms they shared in college. The boys live in one side, the girls in another, and they meet in the middle at any number of times day & night. And yes, they have fallen in love with each other; Tom with Kimi, Chuckie with Lil, & Phil with Susie; loves which are about to be taken to the next level.   
  
  
  
And so ends the exposition. I will now turn my attention to that HA! fic so the next part should be a while getting posted, but that's what I'd thought about this offering. I realize it seems a bit fantastic having them be on top of the world, but it is fanfiction. Hey, I'm the cockeyed optimist here. I have trouble reading about bad stuff happening to people; do you think I would write bad stuff very often? But I think there will be enough to come to get y'all's interest. Again, please r&r. And thanks for any help in the form of feedback or otherwise. Cy'all. 


	2. DareDevilles: Behind the Scenes

Well, when SN AND LK review my fic, it's time to update it. Here's Chapter 2. I'd like to thank y'all for the reviews; I value all reviews, especially those that help me to do better. Thanks for the good reviews to bothe of you, as well as to Junior & Nightw2. Chuckster, maybe I did make it a bit unbelievable; maybe I should have had Tommy just be mentioned in the running for a Heisman instead of being a finalist, although I didn't say how Dil's team did in the World Series. And re. Kimi being a jock, you haven't seen anything yet. Thanks to you too, Ally. I tried to have them be as in character as possible & to reflect same in their careers. SN, I like a bit of angst occasionally, & I have something in mind which I'll get around to releasing in another fic. LK, here's more.   
  
It occurs to me that when I sent in Chapter 1, I neglected something I'd had on my mind; a dedication. I include said dedication here. I'd like to dedicate The Rugrats Weddings to four people --- two male from the Encyclopedia message board, two female from around here --- without whom I wouldn't be writing Rugrats fanfic. In alphabetical order:   
JusSonic, H! & Rrs author extraordinaire, who got me interested in Rugrats at all with his Histeria / Rugrats crossover fic The Histeria Kids Babysit the Rugrats, which also incorporates elements of Family Guy & I think Pinky & the Brain (my favorite moment is when Susie & Aka Pella meet, which makes sense considering I'm becoming quite the Cree Sumner fanboy). We on the EH board are currently non-working on the sequel, which throws in everything from Tenchi Muyo to 1776 to series I've never heard of. I think it's my turn to contribute to it, & if anyone from EH is reading this, I'll get to it, eventually.   
Lil Kimi, my favorite Rugrats author. The first Rrs fic I read was Reflections, which started me thinking along the lines of Phil & Susie as a couple. I've since read all of Freshman Year, & of course we're all waiting for the next chapter of College Years, not to mention her other fics.   
Pokejedservo, noted author in several genres, who gave me the heads up about fanfiction.net, where he is very well represented. He's particularly proud of his H! / RHPS crossover Toasty Histeria Picture Show, & justifiably so.   
Starry Nights, my favorite author of Rugrats & Hey Arnold! fics. Considering the general opinion in the HA! comunity of Rrs, it's something of a rarity to find someone who's equally adept at writing for both shows, but she does it, & does it quite well. I look forward to her next additions in both genres.   
JS, LK, PJS, SN, it's because of all of you that I'm writing this here; take that as you will.   
  
Rugrats is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo & Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom. As to who owns the song I ref at the end of this chapter, your guess is as good as mine. I don't even know who sang it. Wang Chung? I dunno.   
  
  
It's a typical day on the set. Of course for this show, typical could mean anything, absolutely anything. The show goes everywhere & the people involved do everything. The former Rugrats are prepping for the season finale of DareDevilles, which is to take place in the Andes. The air is thick with anticipation. In his office trailer, Chuckie is working out the details for overseas syndication of DareDevilles. The others are gathered around the table, noshing on snacks & drinks, just talking. They're waiting for Tom to arrive & make the group complete; it's just not the same if someone's absent. Finally, he makes his appearance in a dead run, practically collapsing into his usual seat between Susie & Kimi.   
"You're late." Kimi pointed out.   
"Sorry." Tom defended as he kissed his girlfriend. "A toy company doesn't run itself, you know."   
"So we've heard." came the sardonic aside from Phil, who was on the other side of Susie with his arm around her.   
"Chuck, Tom's here!" Lil shouted in the direction of the office. "Which means you're last, again."   
"I'll be right there." was his response.   
"I dunno who puts in more time on the grindstone, him or me." Tom remarked.   
Kimi moaned agreement. "Me neither, & I'm the only one in a position to know."   
"Say Tommy?" Phil ventured, "You're the inventive genius; couldn't you invent something to run the company for you?"   
"Then what would I do?" Tom queried.   
"ME!" Kimi shot, hopefully.   
"Kimi!" Tom grimaced.   
"Exactly!" Kimi continued to hint.   
Phil, a huge grin on his face, explained, "Eh-heheheh, actually, I was thinking you could just sit back & take the money."   
Tom actually gave the idea the proverbial great deal of thought, then dismissed it. "Nah, there's probably a down side I'm not seeing." Just then, Chuck finally graced the gathering with his presence. "Not one word about what you said." Tom mouthed to Kimi. She just grinned mischievously.   
"Did I hear my favorite word?" asked Chuck as he took his usual seat between his sister & Lil, who was quick to rise to a challenge, of her boyfriend.   
Lil: I thought that was me!   
Chuck: Uh... a little help here?   
Susie came to the rescue. "So, Tommy, good of your dad to let you off."   
"Yeah, good thing he still wants to handle the toy conventions part himself, but he still wants me to learn my way around that."   
"He still talking about retiring?" Kimi empathized.   
"Oh, yeah." Tom responded, "If I've heard it once I've heard it a hundred times: 'I'll be turning 60 this year, son; I just can't do what I used to do & I'll be relying on you more & more as time goes by'."   
About this time Lil decided to give up on getting her boyfriend's goat. "Someone wanna call the meeting to order?"   
Phil obliged. "Hear ye, hear ye! The meeting of those in charge of DareDevilles will now come to order."   
Susie was quick to comment. "Phillip Deville setting the tone for decorum; I never thought I'd see the day."   
Phil shot back, "And I never thought I'd see the day you'd steal one of my lines. Now come on, Doc." And he turned serious; they all did. For they had learned that prepping for such incredibly dangerous stunts as those to which one & all were party, if not actual participants, was not to be taken lightly. The table was cleared & attitudes put into their usual places as Phil unfolded the map of the local topography over the table in full view of the group. Or started to; Lil blocked the map from being unfolded.   
"Before we start that, bro, we have some old business." she implied, looking at their agent.   
"Right," Chuck confirmed, pulling out his PDA computer. "Well, the contracts have been concluded with our contacts in Latin America, Europe, Moscow, Japan, Australasia, India, the Middle East, & sub-equatorial Africa. I've looked through the contracts --- some hard negotiating was called for there, I must say --- and they look good. I'm satisfied, & I think you two will be too." With this he looked directly at the stars of the show. "Here are our printout copies; they only require your signatures." Phil & Lil trusted their friend's judgment, so after cursory examinations of the contracts they both signed them. And so the deed was done.   
"Just curious," Tom put in, "How much money are you talking here?" Chuck slid the freshly inked contracts over to his bestest friend, who gave an appreciative whistle, the whistle of one who has been quite impressed.   
"Glad you approve." Chuck said.   
"I do." Tom replied. "Actually, I'm ecstatic. For more than one reason." Eyebrows shot up all around the table at that last remark.   
"Meaning?" Lil asked.   
"Meaning it's good that you guys are doing so well, because it will make my news that much easier to take." Tom took a breath before he dropped his bombshell. "You see, the suppliers of raw materials for Pickles Toys have raised their costs. And our prices have to go up accordingly." As he was talking, he set his briefcase on top of the table. He opened it, & proceeded to remove certain financial documentation, including the annual budget & projections for Pickles Toys with recent rate adjustments factored in; documentation which he placed into the capable hands of the young man two places to his left.   
Chuck studied the papers for a few minutes as the others crowded around him. Finally he removed his glasses & looked his bestest friend in the eye. "I'd say you have no choice; you have to raise your rates." He then cast his gaze on the twins, who by now had re-taken their seats, along with everyone else.   
Phil & Lil looked at each other for a few seconds, as if in telepathic communication. Finally a decision was reached between them with a nod. Lil spoke. "Sure. We share our good fortune, you share your bad fortune."   
Tom sighed in relief. "Thanks for being so understanding about this."   
"Hey, you're still the best deal in town. Where else is DareDevilles going to go for their equipment needs?" Phil said.   
"That reminds me," put in Susie, "You guys do much more than toys now; why don't you change the company name to reflect it?"   
"Hey, people know us as Pickles Toys. It's the brand they grow up with & there's no sense changing what works. Besides," Tom added with a wink, "we don't want word to get out that we're too successful. Might attract the attention of a certain favorite aunt & cousin regarding a takeover." This brought a hearty chuckle to one & all.   
"Okkay, now that that's over with, can we get with planning the season finale?" Phil asked.   
"If we must." came from Kimi. With that, Phil again spread the map over the table, more successfully this time.   
"We're not doing Aconcagua, are we?" asked Kimi.   
"Nah, that's been done to death." Phil assured his friend.   
"Lake Titicaca?" came from Tom.   
"Did it." from Lil. "Anyway, it's too far north."   
"No", from Phil, "What we're trying for is here, here, and here." And he pointed to various spots in the Bolivian section of the range.   
Susie was incredulous. "You guys are going to try three mountains in one episode?!?"   
"No guts, no glory, doc." Tom said.   
"And it is doable." muttered Kimi, her mind on the physical requirements for such a feat.   
Chuck was apoplectic. "ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY?!?"   
"One of these days you're going to get yourselves killed & I'll be out of a job; I just know it." echoed Susie.   
"Aw c'mon," began Tom, before everyone else chimed in, "IT'LL BE FUN!" Tom face-faulted. "So I've become that predictable."   
"We both have," confirmed Chuck, "Why do you think I didn't say, 'I don't know, you guys,'?"   
At this point the medical consultant tried to take charge of the situation. "Look, if you guys are serious about this, we'd all better turn in soon; you're going to need all the sleep you can get."   
"That's not all we'll need. Phil?" At Lil's urging, Phil passed a list of equipment needs around the table to Tom, who already had his cell phone out.   
"I'm on it. Overnight soon enough?" The twins nodded in response.   
Kimi pulled the map over to her. "I'm going to have to be up for a while, studying this, & the last physicals for the group. Doc?" Susie nodded her response to Kimi's unasked question & got up to fetch the required medical records from the infirmary.   
By the time she returned, C.C. & the Devilles were breaking up the party. "You're right, doc. We're turning in." Phil explained.   
"I'll be up awhile yet; I'm not even a quarter of the way through this list, and the hard stuff is still ahead." Tom gestured at the pad on the table. Chuck looked over his friend's shoulder.   
"Wow, everything but sportswear. You really have diversified."   
"Why not sportswear?" Lil wondered.   
"We've thought about it, but what would the advertising slogan be; 'If you're wearing this, you're in a Pickle'?" That brought a laugh from everyone, even distracting Kimi momentarily.   
"You should've come to me." said Chuck. "I know some people on Madison Avenue who could help."   
"Well, if we ever do decide to go in that direction, You'll be the first to know."   
"See that I am; you know you won't regret it."   
"I know, I know. Now if you guys will excuse me..." And with that Tom turned his full attention on business; any further attempt at communication with him would've been fruitless. The same was about to be said for Kimi.   
"Now don't you guys worry; we'll be along in plenty of time."   
"But.." Chuck started.   
"Hey, I get you guys in shape, & if there's any body here I know inside & out it's my own. I know exactly how much sleep I'll be needing for tomorrow, or I will in a few minutes. And I'll send Tommy in in plenty of time, too." Then she too was gone to them, as she resumed poring over the charts, medical & geographic.   
"C'mon, guys." said Chuck. "You know how they are; when they get like that, there's no budging them. Although Kimi could move Tommy if it came down to it." As the others started the walk to the sleeping trailers, he hung back momentarily. Which didn't escape the notice of the others.   
"What?" Phil asked.   
"You think maybe someone should chaperone?"   
"Aw, c'mon, sweetie." said Lil. "You know when they're like this they're strictly professional."   
"Besides," Susie continued, "Your sister can take care of herself."   
"Well, that's the point." Chuck pondered. "Kimi's the aggressive one, even with Tommy." The others just grinned, including Phil, whose hand went to the back of Chuck's neck & turned him in the direction of the sleep trailers.   
"Let's go, Chuckie." And with that, the four of them turned in, the boys in the blue trailer, the girls in the pink one.   
  
Everyone got up with the sun the next morning, due to a certain Finster ensuring numerous awakening mechanisms, not excluding but by no means limited to alarm clocks. Lil & Susie had no peace until they put all thoughts of any more sleep behind them, as did the guys fifteen minutes later. At a quarter to 7 the group had breakfast, catered by Kimi who'd drafted Tom to help. By 7:30 they were assembled in a line just outside of the campsite. Kimi paced along & in front of them like a drill sergeant. By now everyone involved was used to being in this situation, but they still didn't like it, & Kimi didn't care if they did. When she decided to exercise her authority as their trainer she could be a tyrant.   
"Ladies & gentlemen," she barked, "if we are to get in shape for the events of the season finale we will first need to ascertain our current physical conditions, i.e., our ability to handle such physical rigors as such an activity will entail. It is therefore imperative that we first undergo a series of tests; call them rehearsals if you prefer." She stopped next to a map she'd had constructed for the occasion, propped on an easel. It was a detail of their immediate area. "We will divide into two two-person teams. Deville & Deville, you will take this route. Pickles, you're with me." She illustrated her statements with a pointer, hitting the outlined routes pertaining to her words.   
"For the record," Chuck ventured, "why those pairings?" He knew his sister wanted to be alone with his bestest friend, but he knew her other reasons would make sense.   
"Well, the teams could be two male & two female," Kimi began. The silence was deafening. "Or I could go with Phil & Tom with Lil." brought the opposite effect as Tom, Chuck, Lil, Phil, & Susie all shouted "NO!!!"   
"Don't want to risk breaking up any of the couples." Phil whispered to his twin.   
"Like we haven't gone through this dozens of times before." she whispered back.   
"Now," continued Kimi, "behind the scenes personnel," which indicated Chuck & Susie, "stay here & worry about the rest of us."   
"I'll do the worrying." Susie said to Chuck. "You have other business to take care of, as in your client the baseball player?"   
Suddenly the mercurial Kimi was all sweetness & light. "That's right!" And with that she bounded over to her big brother. "How much is Dil going to be paid again?"   
On cue, Chuck adapted the personality of C.C. Finster III, super agent. "I didn't say, and I won't say until the official announcement. You will just have to wait until then like everyone else."   
The mood was now definitely jocular.   
"I've heard you're about to make my little brother baseball's first billion dollar man; any comment?" was Tom's contribution to the conversation.   
"I can neither confirm nor deny that."   
"How about just telling me how much you'll be getting out of it?" Lil attempted to sweettalk.   
"That's just asking me the same question in a different way; you know I get 10 percent as is standard for agents."   
"Well, I have a question on a completely different subject." Phil ventured. "Kimi, I've perused the details here of this test run you're sending us on." He held up a sheet of paper as he said this. "If I'm reading it right, we'll have to monitor our progress; I'd like to know how we'll do that."   
Before Kimi could respond the friends heard a helicopter approaching. "Our answer has just arrived." Tom answered for her.   
The helicopter flew to within a few hundred feet of their position & descended to just over their heads. From it was suspended a huge crate, which soon hit the ground. It was stamped with the words PICKLES TOYS INC. Tom was on the scene immediately, climbing on top of the crate & loosening it from the cables which held it. "Thank you!" he shouted at the pilot as he waved the helicopter off. It then ascended, turned around, & departed the same way it came. Tom had brought a crowbar with him to the morning lineup, & he now employed it in opening the crate. That done, he sifted through the contents, handing some items to the others --- who by now had joined him.   
"Here it is; everything you guys wanted, and more." Here he brought out several sophisticated mechanical devices. "Tracking devices. Kimi had me add them to your list. It took some doing, but I managed to get a small shipment sent to the company, & on down here." He proceeded to distribute them to Kimi & the Devilles, keeping one for himself.   
This done, they returned to their table, which was a hike of a quarter of a mile. "Okkay, guys, gather around." said Tom, & gather around they did. This group had developed a tradition, a ritual. Before embarking on an activity, they would gather in a circle around the table, which they now did.   
*SLAP!* *SLAP!* Tom's right hand hit the table, & Kimi's followed, grabbing his wrist.   
*SLAP!* *SLAP!* *SLAP!* was Chuck's hand grabbing Kimi's wrist, followed by Lil grabbing Chuck's & Phil grabbing Lil's.   
*SLAP!* *SLAP!* as Susie grabbed Phil's wrist & Tom grabbed hers. Their right hande now formed a hexagon.   
"LET'S GO!" all shouted, in the style of a certain song from, when, the '90's, the '80's? They didn't care; they just knew that they liked it.   
Their ritual completed, Tom, Kimi & the Devilles departed for their runs, as Chuck left for his trailer & Susie for the infirmary.   
No one could have known, but when next they met, all of their lives would have changed forever. And that's a good thing.   
  
  
Well, that's it till next time. I now return to The Brainy Saga over in the HA! section. It goes without saying that I value all reviews here. I'm Nftnat, basically everywhere you find me. Meaning? Well, if you wanna e-mail me, I'm nftnat@aol.com If you wanna IM me my handle is Nftnat. And I'm Nftnat everywhere else. Please read & review. Cy'all next time. 


	3. Proposal 1: Falling

Well, if it's Monday night / Tuesday morning, it must be time for another installment in my Rugrats Weddings series. Of course there can't be weddings without proposals, & that's what these next three chapters are about. Parts of this I've had on the page for months; parts are a last minute hack job, for which I apologize.   
  
It goes without saying that thank y'all for reviewing, but I say it anyway. Thanks. LK, if you think Kimi was a pistol last time, check it out when she's concentrating on Tommy. PJS, your point is well taken; the Chuckie-Angelica angle needs to be addressed, & I will do that. I've already written that part, but there's a lot to come before that. I think it'll be worth it, but that's just me. I didn't forget you write Rugrats stories; the words I used were "noted author in several genres". I thought that would be better than saying you write MST3K AND P*k*m*n AND Transformers AND Dragonball Z AND Mega Man AND Digimon AND Rugrats AND video games AND Gundam Wing AND Sailor Moon AND Tenchi AND Histeria AND Ed Edd & Eddy AND Jimmy Neutron AND... um, oops, guess I just did that, huh? Anyway, I reviewed Rugrats Go Hollywood. Um, lessee what else? Oh, Kimmy Larisa, Nightw2, thank you two too. Please, everyone, continue to read & review.   
  
Rugrats is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which is in turn owned by Viacom.   
  
Tom puffed a bit as he neared the top of the latest 'hill'. He was in the best shape of his life, but the one who had given him that shape was racing him to the top from a different direction. He hadn't seen her yet, but that could mean she was ahead of him, which wouldn't surprise him one bit. "Why does that Kimi have to make a competition out of everything? That's my job; I'm the guy" went through his mind. But he knew he wouldn't have her any other way. And if she was any other way, she wouldn't be the Olympic gold medallist she was. Scaling the last few yards to the top, he was surprised to find himself alone. No Kimi; for once he had beaten her. He let this sink in for a minute while enjoying the view from the other side. Then, silliness hit as he acted out his favorite scene from one of those movies she'd forced him to see with her. "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!!", he shouted, his arms raised in triumph.   
"OOOOMMMPPPHHH!!!!!" was the next sound to escape his lips as a perfectly-conditioned 97 pound weight fell on top of his shoulders. No, dropped, with catlike agility. "I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!" a very familiar voice called back to him, mockingly.   
"KIMI!!", came the anguished cry from below.  
Kimi laughed, then started her verbal assault to accompany the physical one. "Oh suck it up, Pickles! You know, you are so out of shape it's not even funny."   
"I am not & you know it!" moaned Tom, feeling her cleats on his shoulders. "Alright, you've had your fun; would you please get down now?"   
"No." she fired back instantaneously.   
"Come on, Kimi, this isn't funny."   
"Oh, I think it is."   
"Get off!! I can't handle all this weight."   
"Bull!" came the reply, with a knock on the head. "You got one of MY bods. I make them; I know how much they can take. Although," said she, putting her hands on the outside of his shoulders, "I'll tell you what, Pickles; I'll make this a little easier." So saying, she applied viselike holds on his outer arms, lifted her feet, & plopped her buns down around his collar.   
From below came renewed anguish. "THIS is EASIER?!?!"   
More laughter from above. "It is for me. Besides," she continued, moving her hips around his neck in what under any other circumstances would've been a sure turn-on, "it's fun."   
"NOT FUNNY! NOT FUNNY ONE BIT!!!"   
"Aw, you're sounding like your brother now."   
"And you're acting like my cousin again!"   
"Angelica gives your head a lap dance? Does Timmy know?"   
"You know what I mean... WHOA!"   
"You'd better not drop me."   
"Tell that to the ground, WHOA!!"   
Suddenly Kimi found herself keeling over Tom's head head-first. Thinking quickly, she hooked her feet together at the ankles around his neck & wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on for dear life. On solid ground she would've thought her way out of this situation in seconds; however, gravity & the current terrain were not going to give her that option. Now it was her turn to shout "WHOA!", although her voice was muffled by the front of Tom's pants.   
More "WHOA"s followed, one on top of the other until they streamlined into twin screams, muted as they were, as Tom & Kimi rolled down the mountain they'd just climbed. They were fortunate enough, after a few hundred feet, to roll to the side, finally coming to rest against an outcropping of rock. They lay there for a few minutes, catching their breaths & taking stock of the damage their bodies had suffered.   
"Well, Tommy?"   
"I don't think anything's broken or sprained."   
"Same here."   
"Then could you please get your crotch out of my face?"   
"I could ask you the same question."   
"You're on top."   
"As it should be."   
"Please."   
With not a little embarrassment on his part, & not a little mischief on hers, Kimi dislodged herself from her position covering Tom. When she stood, she turned back to him, offering a hand to help him up. Then a flash of mischief crossed his mind; he pulled on her hand in an attempt to pull her down.   
It worked, sort of. She fell on top of him, but now that she was in control of her senses again her reflexes worked with devastating speed & precision. The next thing that Tom knew, her knees were in his gut, knocking the wind out of him, again. All of Kimi above her knees now had the appearance to him of a towering column which he had learned to fear & to love, in whatever order.   
"Don't toy with me, ever!"   
"Okkay, okkay, I surrender already!"   
Her face moved to within inches of his. "And you always will; never forget that."   
A modicum of confidence now building inside him, his face got that cheeky grin he knew she had serious trouble resisting. "Well, I can't make it too easy for you. If I don't mess up occasionally, who knows, you might subconsciously start looking for someone else to train, or should I say to break?"   
As she pondered his words --- and found herself annoyed at the senses they made --- she found herself staring into his boyish face, his impish smile, his charismatic eyes, by which she'd been enraptured since she discovered the opposite sex. And she'd loved him even before that.   
She didn't give him the satisfaction of a vocal concession, but it didn't matter; there was a far more important form of satisfaction. That was the form that now took place, Kimi satisfying herself with the knowledge that this was the one sure way to shut him up.   
Tom smiled as the kiss happened. He'd lost to her in every way but the most important one, again. And that was all that mattered. Then he felt her hand on his chin, forcing his head back against the hard ground. He didn't mind the pain, much. It would go away. This was just her way of reasserting who was in charge.   
He endured, knowing what would happen next. And it did; her compact form slowly sank onto his. As her head rested on his chest he once again felt transported to seventh heaven, taking care not to let his feelings manifest themselves in any sort of laughter --- in her position she would sense that instantly. Yep, no doubt about it; he was a whipped puppy where she was concerned, & he couldn't be happier. The rewards made it well worth it.   
For some reason, their conversation on the mountaintop entered his thoughts. "'Queen of the world'?"   
Her head rose. "What?"   
"That's what you said."   
"Oh, heh," she paused, gathering her thoughts which had recently been scattered to the winds, "well, if you're the king I'm not going to be anything less."   
"True, true." he conceded. "Only..."   
She rose further, onto her arms which now crossed on top of his chest. "Only, what?"   
"Well, when two people are king & queen of the same place, they're usually husband & wife."   
"Now there's an idea." she chuckled.   
"And another thing," he continued, "If I'm king & you're queen, what does that make the others?"   
She pondered for a moment. "Well, Dyl would be a prince because he's your brother, & Chuckie would be a prince because he's my brother, & Lil's already a princess, which would make Phil a prince too, or maybe a duke..."   
"But we already made Chuck & Lil king & queen."   
"Well, of course you did; I wasn't there to be your queen."   
His eyebrows rose. "MY queen?"   
"I'd better be." As she said this, she rolled off of him, finally preferring solid ground to him. Which was just as well; he was getting tired of supporting her, tho he wouldn't dare say so. But he did finally allow himself to laugh.   
His timing was good; by now the laughter only drew curiosity from the small package lying by his side instead of punishment. "What?"   
"I was imagining what my Grandpa Boris would've said about what we were doing."   
"What?"   
Tom's voice shifted to an approximation of memories of his maternal grandfather. "'In the old country, when a man does with a woman what you just did with her, he either married her or paid her'."   
And now it was Kimi's turn to laugh. "Yeah, my grandparents would've said pretty much the same thing. They were big on honor, you know."   
"Yeah," Tom said, his expression turning serious. "It was good finally being able to meet them that time at the Olympics. I just wish I could've gotten to know them better."   
His somber mood was now matched by hers. "They were in poor health even then. They liked you, you know. They told me to hold on to you. That's more than Dad got from them."   
This was a surprise to him; Chaz Finster was someone of whom he thought the world. "Huh. What do I have that he doesn't?"   
"Maybe he tried too hard; I don't know. Maybe it was you going to them when you were still young. Maybe it was your hair color."   
"They don't like redheads?"   
"I didn't say that."   
"Mm." he figured he'd better let that drop; no sense in disturbing the past..   
He chose, rather, to look to the future. "Well, who are we to ignore the advice of our grandparents?"   
And now it was her turn for raised eyebrows. "Huh?"   
"That's my line." he teased. As he spoke, he raised himself to one knee. As before, she reached out a hand to help him up the rest of the way; this time, though, he declined.   
A frown of confusion crossed her face. As Tom reached into a side pocket of his cargo pants, he could see that for once, she was at a complete disadvantage. When he produced a little black box, her eyes, then her mouth, slowly enlarged & continued to do so. Her breathing virually stopped.   
"I hadn't planned to do this here or now, but I figure why wait for a perfect time & place that may never come."   
She was frozen, her vocal abilities severely hampered. She found herself able to whisper only one word: "Sweetie...?"   
Hearing her old pet name for him, he smiled, picking up a much-needed boost of confidence. "But on second thought, could there be a better place than this, in the mountains, where everywhere I look, I see reminders of where I feel when I'm with you, at the top of the world." He opened the box; her eyes couldn't have been fastened to its contents any more even if they were physically touching it. He held it out to her. "Kimi Watanabe Finster, will you marry me?"   
That did it; she was now officially petrified, unable to move. As the minutes passed, Tom's expression of hope turned slowly to concern, then to worry over Kimi's apparent catatonia. The hand in front of her mouth, then her eyes, the finger snap, all to no avail.   
"Kimi?" Acting on instinct, Tom's hands went to her chest and diaphragm in an effort to stimulate respiration. "Breathe, Kimi, bre--"   
He was cut off as Kimi suddenly made a complete recovery, and then some. Kimi leaped up & came down, directly on top of him. Her arms wrapped around his in a death grip, as her lips launched a frenzied attack upon any and every part of him they could find.   
As soon as he could find breath enough, Tom managed to squeak out, "Should I take that as a yes?"   
In response, Kimi thrust her hand into his face. "Just shut up & stick it on there, now!"   
"Yes ma'am!" her bemused beau responded, slipping the ring on the appropriate finger.   
"'Ma'am'? Getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we?" She didn't give him a chance to say anything in return; as soon as she felt that ring on her finger, its hand together with its fellow hand --- seized his head on both sides, holding it helplessly vulnerable to a fresh osculatory assault from her.   
When the kissing finally stopped, they settled into a familiar position, her in his arms, her head on his chest. And she was sighing.   
"Ahh... my sweetie... my king... my sweetie-king..."   
"My sweetie queen."   
"Mmm,... copycat..."   
"And your point is?"   
"Mmm..." faded into the most contented sigh she had sighed in some time. The minutes passed. Her smile deepened, with some twinkle added. "We do make the perfect King & Queen of the World, you know."   
Her impishness was now matched by his. "What about King Charles & Queen Lillian?"   
"Let them get their own world." she said as she moved in for another kiss, another long kiss. She then settled on top of him again. "Or they can have ours; my world is right here."   
They were closing in on a personal record for both for most time spent talking sweetly & mushily to each other, & neither was inclined to break away from shattering it. Unfortunately, that record was saved by the bell, as two series of beeps were heard emanating from the two young bodies.   
"Awwwww!" exclaimed Kimi, "Whose idea was it for us to be wearing tracking devices?"   
Tom froze his voice & even his mouth like his life depended on it, which for all he knew it did.   
"Oh yeah." Kimi recalled. After even more units of time had passed, "Can't we just stay here a bit longer?"   
"Hey, I'd like nothing better..." Tom began.   
"...but how would it look if the trainer was late getting back." Kimi finished.   
"Like she'd been behaving herself?"   
"As if!" said Kimi as she stood. She then pulled Tom up before he could pull back. Then she jumped into his arms.   
"UHMPFH! Um, Kimi, what's going on?"   
"Don't just stand there; start running."   
"Wha?"   
"You heard me. And don't stop till we reach camp."   
"You can't be serious."   
"Dead serious."   
"Dead is what I might be by then. Do you have any idea how far it is back to camp?!?"   
"Let's go already; you're wasting time."   
Tom had learned from bitter experience that there was no point in pursuing the matter any further, so he opted for the same out he always did: unconditional surrender. He started running.   
  
  
So ends another chapter. Next we'll have Chuckie & Lil. Angelica? She's in France right now; I'll get to her in a month or two. Really. Like I said, please r & r. Cy'all. 


	4. Proposal 2: TLC

Greetings, Rugrats fanfic fans! Well, it's Monday, time for your weekly Weddings words. Well, last week I covered Tommy & Kimi, this week it's Chuckie & Lil. I apologize to the TL & CA shippers, but one can't very well have Tommy with Kimi, Tommy with Lil, Chuckie with Lil, & Chuckie with Angelica, all at the same time. And as the song goes, you can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself. But I can't ignore those other relationships, so I'm trying to deal with them & it will continue off & on until Angelica gets here at least.   
  
I am overwhelmed by the reviews for Chapter 3. Like I said before, LK, Kimi's a pistol. Hopefully I succeeded in putting the Chuckie & Lil relationship over too. You don't know what it means to have such glowing praise from you, & from you SN. "Astounds"? Coming from you that means a lot. You two are legends of Rugrats fanfic. As are you, Kimmy Larisa. I reviewed the latest chapter of Deja Vu btw & before this day is out I'd better see what The Real Crib is about. KRACILT, whatever that means. Here's your favorite couple & I hope you like. Nightw2, thanks for your review too. Please read & review, y'all.   
  
Rugrats is created, copyrighted, & / or owned by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.   
  
In the office trailer of DareDevilles, the agent for the star / hosts, who was also one of the executive producers (though if you'd ask him he'd say he was just a guy helping his friends), sat in front of his laptop. But his mind wasn't on his work; that had already been done. With the contracts signed & the season finale out of his hands, the show was practically running itself & would continue to do so for months at least. Things were quiet on the baseball front too; he & Dil had settled on an offer, one which would increase the wealth of both young men tenfold at the very least. The press conference would take place the next week. And his sister had decided to pass on her athletic career for the next few months; a sabbatical, as it were. Did athletes take sabbaticals? He knew professors did, but...   
No, his mind was elsewhere, on a certain co-host, one with an adorable pink bow which she still wore in her hair, lovely brown hair, with soulful eyes to match. The way she walked, the way she talked, her every gesture & every odd noise that came out of her, just screamed KAWAII!!! as his mother would put it.   
Now that he'd started thinking about their parents, no problem there either; his had always liked her & hers had always liked him. Well, her mother could be a bit overbearing at times, to those who didn't know her; but he did, so that was no problem. And her father, well, it was anyone's guess which of them was the more timid. No, all four parents would love what he was thinking about, what he'd been thinking about for years.   
So what was stopping him? Timidity? It must be that. These were his thoughts as his gaze fell on the framed pictures on his desk. There was one of the Finster family, one of the group, & a blowup of a certain member thereof. His eyes stayed on the blowup as his left hand instinctively opened the desk's lap drawer & extruded the small black box he'd bought, how long ago, two, three months? Yep, no doubt about it, the only reason he hadn't done it was timidity.   
  
RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!   
  
Thoughts shattered; back to business.   
*click* "Finster."   
"There's been another accident, C.C."   
His breath caught in his throat, again. "How bad?"   
"Same old same old." Meaning nothing serious, just another DareDeville dustup.   
"Which team?"   
"Team one." Phil & Lil. Even though he knew the situation was well in hand, he felt a clutching in his chest, as he did every time he had to go through such a situation.   
"Where?"   
"Dr. Carmichael's on the job. They're in the infirmary now."   
"So am I." He terminated the line & the conversation that went over it, rising to his feet. So much of a hurry was he in, he didn't notice he'd carried the box with him, dropping it in a handy pocket.   
  
  
*ka-thlump*   
  
The door to the medicine cabinet closed, courtesy of the coffee colored right hand belonging to the medical consultant of DareDevilles. Her left hand was a bit full.   
"Okkay, first I get you better, then I kill you." She had been through such ordeals so often she was used to it, but to cope she had been driven to the point of talking to herself. "Or maybe I'll just put you through a little extra pain while I'm treating you; that'd be appropriate.." And on & on she muttered.   
  
*SLAM!!!*   
  
A head turned. "Yours is in there; I'm done with her." Her free hand pointed to the left. "I'm about to treat mine, and try once again to give him a piece of my mind."   
"He can use it." He rushes to the indicated door, then stops, his hand on the knob. "Susie?"   
Her passage arrested, she turns from the door on the right. "Yeah, Chuckie?"   
"Why do they do this to us?"   
"I don't think it's intentional. These kids just have a death wish, the four of them. That's all."   
His hand wavers between wiping, rubbing, & scratching the area between his blue-framed glasses & his orange mop of hair. "They need help."   
A glorious smile broke out over the brown face. "What do you think we're here for? Now you go see about her." And with that she disappeared through the door. He followed her example.   
And appeared on the other side.   
  
She was half sitting, half lying on the examination table. Fully conscious, fully clothed, & fully in good spirits. As he closed the door she was in the middle of a full-body yawn, & she was making those cute noises she still made from time to time. "peep peep peep" he heard.   
At this point his reserve left him. He circled around her & grabbed her suddenly into the most vicious hug he'd applied in memory.   
" *MMFF!*, Chuckie? This is so unlike you; I think I like it."   
As he hugged her, something in a certain pocket dug into both bodies, causing notice, not to mention a small amount of discomfort.   
"What is that?"   
As the identity of the offending object, together with memories from the office, interacted in his mind; Chuckie knew that it was destiny, ordering him to do it. Now was the time; he knew it. If he didn't do it now, he never would & he'd regret it the rest of his life.   
"Could you just shut up for a minute & give me a chance to say what I--"   
"You can't tell me to shut up; I'm a woman & you're a man!"   
Confusion closed his mouth. "Is that in the rules?" he asked, referring to a mythical set of rules on intergender relations to which the members of the group had referred from time to time over the years.   
A shock of brown hair nodded in affirmation.   
"Where, right after the part about the guy having to be psychic?"   
"No, that's on the first page. This is further on back."   
"Around the part that says it won't do the man any good to complain about anything the woman wants to do, & in fact will inevitably encourage her to do more?"   
"Past that. So you knew about that one? Good for you."   
"How often have I complained about stuff you want me to do?"   
A pair of eyes shot toward the top of her head in concentration. "Not very often, come to think of it."   
"As much as I enjoy this refresher course, can we get back to what I was about to say?"   
"Only if you skip past the 'shut up' part."   
"Then could you let me say what I have to say before I lose my resolve?"   
"There's some carpet cleaner under the sink, & alright."   
The first part of that statement confused him momentarily. "Eh, skip it." He then assumed the position, the traditional suitor's position. His hand went to the appropriate pocket & drew out the box, which he then opened, exhibiting its glittering contents. "Lillian Deville, will you marry me?"   
She said nothing, but slid off the table, landing directly in front of her boyfriend. She kneeled to look him in the eye, lifted the ring, & slipped it onto her finger. Finally...   
"Yes, I will, Chuckie." Her arms reached out for him, & in due course of time, the two were in a position with which humanity has been familiar since the Garden Of Eden.   
When they came up for air, she looked him in the eye. "Darnit Chuckie, what took you so long?"   
The shock soon passed, as he realized she'd wanted this even more than he had, if that was possible. His mind didn't have to search far for an explanation as the office was again fresh. "Timidity, there's just no other way to explain."   
"Makes sense." she mused. Then without warning, she slapped him across the face.   
"What was that for?!?" he exclaimed.   
A smug look came to her face. "For calling me Lillian; only Phillip does that."   
Face fault. "You're kidding."   
"It's a twin thing. In some ways Phillip & I are closer to each other than anyone else will ever be."   
"Even the people you two marry?"   
"Chuckie, we shared a womb! The two of us formed together, from shapeless blobs of protoplasm. We were stuck together, watching each other before we even had eyes, naked together in close quarters for nine months. How's anyone going to beat that?"   
"I don't know." Chuck confessed, before sweeping her into another hug. "I'm bound to try, though."   
As she settled into his embrace, those adorable noises escaped her mouth again, culminating in "Hmm, well, try all you want; I won't complain."   
  
Then she noticed traces of concern still on her now fiancee's face. "What?"   
"I'm just relieved you said yes."   
"Why wouldn't I?"   
"Well..."   
"No, really. What reason could I possibly have to not jump at the chance to marry you?"   
"I, I'd really rather not say; it'd just bring up old stuff that's probably best forgotten."   
"Chuckie."   
"Well, there might be someone else."   
"Who?"   
"I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry--"   
"Chuckie, we're not in high school anymore, or even college. If we're going to make a life together we should be able to deal with everything in our past. And we're mature enough to do it. Now, who else would I be interested in?"   
A head sunk, a head from which an extremely small voice gave out a single word: "Tommy."   
As Lil heard that word, she gave out a reaction of disbelieving frustration, which among other effects caused her to blow at an angle to rustle her bangs. Then she set about to build the young man's self-confidence. "First, your sister would kill him, & me. Second, have I given any indication that I'm still interested in him?"   
"Well, not in a long time, but..."   
"But what?"   
"Well," he finally gave in, "why wouldn't you be interested in him? Everyone loves him."   
"So that's it." she deadpanned. "Tommy Pickles, the alpha male, the golden child, the chosen one, the heartbreaker, the fearless leader, the adventurer, the charismatic--"   
"Wow, I feel a lot better." Chuck remarked caustically.   
"Chuckie," she again looked him in the eye as she grabbed him by either side, forcing him to look at her. "He is all that & a bag of chips. But he's not you. You just don't realize how attractive you are. He might be the leader, but you're the stud."   
He didn't believe that, & his expression said as much.   
"C'mon, who was the star of The Babies, you or him?"   
"John Waite."   
Her expression slowly approached a level between flat & quizzical. "Okkay, I'd expect that from Phillip. And that was the Babys, not the Babies."   
"Huh?"   
"Never mind. How did you find that out?"   
"Well, when you're an agent in the entertainment field, you have to keep your finger on the pulse of the industry, which includes the musical part of the industry, which includes the history of the musical part of the industry."   
She just continued to look at him. "My brother's been talking to you about bringing back 'Il'n', hasn't he?"   
"All he said was that if it ever comes back--"   
"And that's a big 'if'."   
"-- that he wanted me to represent you guys."   
"Well, of course you'd represent us. But that is so not happening. Anyway, back to my main point, you're easily as attractive as Tommy. There's a sweetness about you, a vulnerability, that just makes women want to pick you up & take you home with them."   
"I already have a Mom, Lil."   
"You used to not, & believe it or not that works to your advantage. If your face was on screens coast to coast like ours are, there'd be an army of Chuckie lovers wanting to get with you. And they'd all have to deal with me."   
"Really?"   
"Really. Do I need to go through your romantic past?"   
"I have one? I mean, I don't see any groupies trying for me like they do for the rest of you."   
"Because you like to stay in the background. Honestly, if you wanted you could pitch a series 'The Many Loves Of Chuckie Finster'."   
"Oh, now I know you're exaggerating."   
"That's it; we're going into the past."   
"Lil--"   
"Chuckie, like I said we're mature enough to do this. If anything I was afraid someone else would grab you before I could."   
"You really loved me that much? For how long?"   
"Years, since junior high at least."   
"Really?"   
"Even when we were babies, I used to love tickling your tummy. People commented about Tommy's laugh, but he had nothing on you. Yes, I love you & not him."   
Chuck took a break from the heart to heart to collect his thoughts. "And what if Kimi hadn't come along?"   
"Now you know that's not fair. I don't know what would've happened. None of us do; we can't. For all we know I'd be with Tommy & you'd be with Angelica by now."   
"As if!"   
"It could've happened & you don't know it couldn't have. But Kimi changed the entire group dynamic. She loves him, & I love you."   
She could see that he was going to need just a bit more convincing, so... "Alright, the Chuckie Finster harem is now open for review."   
"How far are we going back?"   
"To the very first one."   
"And that would be?"   
"Megan."   
Now it was Chuck's turn to pfft! "Megan? She cheated on me, plus she was a psycho."   
"I know, we all thought the both of you were nuts. But you were talking marriage."   
"Alright, but I still think that's a bad example."   
"Okkay, how about Emma?"   
"Alright, I'll give you that one. But we broke up."   
"Problems with her brother?"   
"That was part of it, but not the whole thing."   
"Okkay, well, then there was..."   
And for the next hour the two of them dug through each other's pasts with fine-toothed combs.   
  
Finally...   
"Samantha Shane. This one's a bit painful for me, I'll have you know."   
"Why?"   
"I would've made a play for you about then if you hadn't been infatuated with her."   
"Well then you'll be glad to hear that it was just a crush, like it was with Susie."   
"Really?"   
"Yeah. We had a nice little talk, & realized we weren't right for each other. I mean, she's Angelica's age."   
"So's Susie, & that's not stopping my brother."   
"Alright, bad reason. But really, it was just a crush."   
"Speaking of Angelica..."   
"Let's not."   
"Chuckie, she treated you like Megan did. And she set you up with Samantha."   
"Which doesn't change the fact that she's been the bane of my existence since I've known her. You don't know the hell she put me through!"   
Lil could see Chuck's agitation mounting, so she let the matter drop.   
  
As soon as he had cooled down, however, Chuck's curiosity surfaced. "What do you mean you would've made a play for me then?"   
That caused a smile, the type that's accompanied by closed eyes. "Remember the lip balm?"   
"Yeah."   
"Well, I overheard Tommy telling you that when she gave you her lip balm it was serious."   
"I remember that too."   
"Remember me asking for it right then?"   
"Yeah, you asked to borrow it."   
"No, I asked if I could HAVE it."   
"I don't get it."   
"'She gave you her lip balm? That's serious.' So I wanted you to give it to me, because I wanted you to get serious with me."   
"Whoah!" That left Chuck speechless for a long time. "I, I had no idea."   
"Well, the male is less perceptive on matters of the heart."   
His brow furrowed, then cleared. "What can I say, you're right." Then he smiled as he initiated yet another embrace. "Well, I finally did."   
Now her brow furrowed. "Did what?"   
"Get serious with you."   
Her eyes caught his again. "Did you ever!"   
And again they were lost in each other's lips.   
"Mmm..." Another adorable noise from Lil.   
That caused Chuck to break it up. "What?"   
"I was just thinking; this was bound to happen."   
"You mean us?" Nod. "Why, because of when Angelica made us get married?"   
"Well, that's part of it."   
Puzzlement.   
"We're the catchphrase couple. 'Bestest Friend' & Miss 'Prettiful'."   
"Well, actually I think it was Tommy that--"   
"Chuckie?"   
"Hmm?"   
"Don't spoil the moment."   
"Right." And with that they settled into yet another embrace.   
  
Well, two down, one to go. Which means Phil & Susie are on deck. Next time, proposal number three, as soon as I can come up with a good name for it. And I thought I'd have a hard time coming up with three different ways to propose. I did, but this is harder. Hint: Jeff Conaway. I'm not saying any more about it until next Monday. Btw does anyone know what colors the Rugrats' eyes are? I'd really like to know; maybe I could work it in. I'd've liked to have put in Lil's eye color above, & it'd be simple to do that if I knew. Well, till next week, please read & review. I'm Nftnat, on e-mail I'm nftnat@aol.com , & on IM I'm Nftnat . Cy'all. 


	5. Proposal 3: We Go Together

Well, I'm a day late & a dollar short, but I have a good excuse. It was thundering all day & night yesterday & I dared not work on it; there was a thunderstorm last year & it took months for the computer to get out of the shop. But y'all aren't here to listen to my troubles. It turned out to be for the better anyway, as the draft I would've uploaded yesterday kinda bit, as in a bit slapdash, a bit slipshod, a bit forced. And I didn't want to do that, not to my favorite couple (Phil & Susie, for those not keeping up). I'm still not sure I did them justice. Here it is anyway.   
  
Thanks for the reviews to Ally, Junior, Nightw2, Lil Kimi, Starry Nights, & Kimmy Larisa. And I meant what I said before. I wouldn't have gotten into writing this had I not been inspired by the fics of SN & LK, & Lk in turn is on record as having been inspired by KL's Deja Vu fic. So the praise for the three of you is well earned. And I will think about y'all's suggestions for eye color. Please, y'all, continue to r&r.   
  
Rugrats is created, copyrighted, & / or owned by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom. Grease the musical was written by Casey & Jacobs & the motion picture is probably copyrighted by Paramount Pictures, which is also owned by Viacom. Nice how I keep it all in the family, eh? But that show's owned by Sony / Columbia & has nothing to do with this. I'll shut up now & let you read.   
  
It couldn't even be called an accident. He'd stepped where he shouldn't have stepped & next thing you know, they're both back at the bottom of the 'hill' as Kimi would call it. He was now on a first name basis with the geological substance known as a scree, as if he wasn't before. Lil hadn't even been hurt at all, really; & he'd just gotten a few cuts & bruises. It was nothing! *OW!* Except for that. But it would go away with a little immobilization of the elbow, he'd been assured. Which explained why his left elbow was currently incapacitated. A minor annoyance; it would pass.   
  
*SLAM!!*   
  
That would probably be Chuckie; of course he would be informed of the accident & Phil knew how the redhead felt about Lil. Hmm, and Susie's in there; this could be interesting. Just jump out of his chair & on over to the door, *unh!*, he was still feeling that little scrape, in more ways than one. Ear to the door, & let's see.   
Piece of her mind, huh? Like that's ever done any good. Hmm, although, it might not hurt to start listening to her, with what he's planning. Maybe he shouldn't wait until the day before they leave, either.   
Whazzat? Death wish? Him? He just likes to have high risk fun; is that such a bad thing? Besides, Tommy & Kimi had always taken the lead, maybe not on the show but that's only because the show doesn't have their names; it had the Deville name. And it's not like they took unnecessary chances; was it their fault the audience liked for the envelope to be pushed?   
Huh? Uh-oh. Couldn't exactly hear what Chuckie was saying now, but he could hear Susie's hand on the doorknob; gotta get back to the chair. Step, step, *uhnh!*, well, that's a little less painful. Now, relax, and just in time too because here she comes. The door opens.   
"Hi, doc."   
Silence.   
*uh-oh* "Um, doc?"   
.....................................   
"Susie?"   
ditto   
"Suze?"   
more of same   
"Dr. Carmichael?"   
big lotta nothing   
*sigh* "Okkay, so you're upset with us, with me. And, the reason is obvious."   
All this time she's been aproaching him, tending to the medicines & bandages & whatnot, basically doing her job. Now, the mummy speaks. "Stick out your arm."   
He does so. "It's these crazy chances we take. And you're right; it's silly & stupid & we so shouldn't do it. But by now what choice do we have?"   
"This will hurt."   
*OW!* *She wasn't kidding.*   
"We're trapped. It was fun doing those crazy stunts at first, & it still is. But I have noticed they're getting more out there. Now, while that may be just a matter of 'once you master one level move on to the next level', it could also be a matter of pushing the envelope. And we have to keep pushing it, or the audience will go down, shares will drop, advertisers will pull out, & eventually the plug would be pulled on the whole thing. Lil & I would be out of a job, & so would you."   
"Mm-hmm." She was busy.   
"We have been trying to tone it down, Lil & I. And we've been trying to get Tommy & Kimi to pull back a bit too. Gotta pace ourselves."   
Still busy. "Uh-huh, right."   
"And we're in the best shape possible thanks to Kimi, so there's less damage; who knows how much worse I could be hurt right now if she wasn't around. Lil might actually have some damage. And you, we couldn't be in better hands."   
"I agree."   
"Huh?"   
"You guys couldn't be in better hands than mine."   
Face fault.   
"And I hear what you're saying; it's the same thing I've been saying a hundred times, the part about taking crazy chances. I also understand why you guys can't pull back too much, & I agree with your reasons. That said, I still reserve the right to not like it, not one little bit."   
Phil nodded. "Fair enough."   
"Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, you're right. At least I could go into private practice by now..."   
"Oh?"   
"Oh, didn't I tell you? Due to all the work you guys have been putting me through my residency is already up. I'm now a full-fledged doctor."   
"That's great! You should've told us before; we would've had a party to celebrate."   
"I just found out myself."   
"So you could hang out your shingle now, huh?"   
"Yeah, & it's all because of you guys. I declare, you're worse than that guy who had that tool show in Detroit."   
"Well of course; there was only one of him, & everyone else kept trying to keep him out of trouble. There's four of us; you & Chuckie don't have a chance."   
"Exactly."   
"Does this mean you'll be wanting a raise?"   
"Well it's not like you can't afford it now."   
"Yeah yeah, we'll get with Lil & Chuckie & hammer out the details."   
"They're kind of busy right now."   
"So I guessed."   
A lengthy pause ensued, finally broken by Phil.   
"Before all of these tangents, what were we talking about?"   
"I was wondering what you & Lil would do if this show folded."   
"Right. Well, I'd hope we could get acting jobs somewhere."   
"Right."   
"And there's always 'Il'n'."   
"Over Lil's dead body."   
"Well, she could be replaced if it came down to it."   
Dead silence again.   
"Okkay, I'm kidding. Uh, maybe I could produce."   
"Who?"   
"You?"   
More dead silence.   
"Aw, c'mon."   
"No. Word gets around about a musical career & I'd never be taken seriously in my profession again. I'd be the Singing Surgeon, not the way to get respect in my field."   
"Well, it's been done before. There was that cardiologist in Louisiana who put out a couple of country albums some years ago, oh, what was his name, Clayton, Cleavon...?"   
"Fine for him, but forget it."   
"Okkay, but it's a shame. You have the voice of an angel."   
"How would you know?"   
"Funny."   
"Seriously, has anyone really heard an angel sing?"   
"What?"   
"Check that book sometime," she said, gesturing to a Bible she kept on her desk, "and try to find even one instance of an angel singing."   
"But, but, what about the Christmas story, the Heavenly choir.."   
"Luke 2:13. 'And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God', et cetera. Saying, not singing. There's no more proof in there that angels sing than there is that there were three wise men."   
"You're ruining a venerable traditional image, I hope you know."   
"Correcting misconceptions is more like it."   
"I still say you could have quite the singing career if you wanted to."   
"Flattery'll get you nowhere, Deville. I had to make a choice between singing & medicine, & I have no regrets."   
"Yeah, I know how that is. I had to make a similar choice between baseball & drama."   
"Oh, that's right. You were on the ball team."   
"Yes I was. And I'm here to tell ya, those tales you might've heard about Dil's lack of control, while the stuff of urban legends, are absolutely true." He ruefully rubbed his head with the memory.   
"Well, you made the right choice too."   
"You saw me play ball?"   
"Didn't have to; I just had to listen to what the group was saying. But I did see the plays you were in."   
"Which was your favorite?"   
"Grease."   
"Oh, yeah. I always liked that one too. Although it would've been lots more fun if you'd been the one getting a hickey from Kenickie."   
"Yeah, right. Do I look like a Pink Lady to you? That's Lil's color."   
"Ack! Please, I couldn't be Kenickie with her as Rizzo; that'd be sick!"   
"It's called acting."   
"And you say I have a warped sense of humor. But really, you'd have made the perfect Rizzo."   
"Hmm, a bad girl who has a thing going with a maniac, goes through a pregnancy scare, clashes with some blonde, & winds up being the first of the group to be engaged. Sounds like me."   
"It'd be a stretch, but I think you could do it. It's called acting."   
"Touche. But I'm not an actor."   
"Touche right back at ya."   
"There, all done. Now get outta here; no sense you hangin' 'round here takin' up space."   
"Your bedside manner, as always, is exemplary." Phil said as he leapt to his feet. Susie then returned to her desk; Phil joined her. As she seated herself in front, he seated himself, on top of the desk. He lifted the Bible.   
"It looks old."   
"It is; it belonged to Aunt T."   
"She was a remarkable woman."   
*sigh* "Yes, she was." Susie then took the Bible from Phil's hands. Her mood grew wistful, introspective. When she spoke again, Phil thought he heard a tear in her voice. "Sometimes, when you guys are off doing those crazy stunts, I find it brings comfort to me." Susie then opened a drawer of her desk & placed the Bible inside. Phil just watched, then he noticed something else in the drawer. He reached over & grabbed it.   
"Hey!"   
"You still have this?" It was an old flashlight, the one he'd given her when she'd been in the hospital for a tonsillectomy. "You know it doesn't work anymore."   
"It does now."   
Phil tried it; sure enough. "Well, whadda ya know."   
"Yeah, Mom found what was wrong with it & fixed it. Took her all of, maybe, twenty minutes."   
"Another remarkable woman." he said as he leaned over to caress her cheek. "Must run in the family." With his other hand he was still using the flashlight, turning it on & off. A grin came to his face.   
Susie noticed. "Fair warning; one word in a Darth Vader voice or one move in a light saber routine, & I throw you out of here bodily."   
"Spoilsport." He continued to work the light. "This was our favoritest flashlight, y'know."   
"And you wanted me to have it."   
"Well, Tommy & Chuckie had gifts for you--"   
"And you were feeling left out, so you gave me something spur of the moment, something that was really yours."   
"Well, mine & Lil's"   
"And you just about had to fight her for it. I was flattered, really."   
"Well, you deserved it, and then some."   
"It's appropriate for you, really."   
"Oh?"   
"Yeah, whatever's going on you can always be counted on to lighten the mood. You never fail to make me laugh."   
"Is that all? What about what you've done over the years, for all of us? I've lost count of how many times you've saved us from Angelica; we wouldn't have survived childhood if it hadn't been for you."   
"I'm sure Kimi would've held her own, and then some."   
"Yeah, I guess. But it was always you coming to our rescue. Of course when the 'rents started getting you to keep an eye on us we found out there was a flip side to that."   
"Oh?"   
"Yeah, we can never put anything over on you."   
"Oh, that."   
"It was uncanny; whenever we tried sneaking around you we found you'd already sneaked around to in front of us. Frustrating, really."   
"Hey, I just had to pay closer attention to you guys than our parents usually did. Nothing to it."   
"Well, you'd make the perfect mom because you were always there to head us off."   
"Thanks, I think."   
"I still don't know how you did it sometimes."   
"For instance?"   
Susie then had the rare pleasure of seeing Phillip Deville deep in thought. Finally...   
"Like that time Tommy was grounded from the Emica concert."   
"I remember that one; Angelica actually gave something away with no catch."   
"We thought we were going to sneak Tommy out of the house. You were in the kitchen when we made the break, but when we opened the front door there you were saying..."   
"You think I don't know when you're up to something?" they finished in chorus before breaking it up into giggles.   
"So what gave it away?"   
"Well, I was on guard when I heard the bikes. I heard Tommy saying something, but I couldn't make out a word of it. Then Chuckie was saying something about 'can't' & helping. And then I heard, 'We're busting you out, Pickles!'."   
Phil blushed with realization. "Oops."   
"Oops indeed. Don't worry; I won't tell the others it was you who ratted them out."   
"Well, it all worked out for the good. You came with us & you even got a front row seat to watch Angelica ruin the concert."   
"Well of course I came with you guys. I'd been entrusted with Tommy & I had to keep an eye on you kids."   
"Y'know, I can't believe I'm in love with the same person who used to babysit me."   
"You? I'm in love with one of the kids I used to babysit." She said as she grabbed the flashlight, and the hands that were holding it. Her hand then returned his favor by caressing his cheek. "Although you guys aren't kids anymore. You are definitely a man."   
Phil was getting nervous now; they'd been beating around the bush for some time & he still hadn't done what he'd planned. But then, he wasn't used to being romantic. "Uh, listen doc...?"   
"Yes?"   
"Um, there's something I need to say..."   
"Well?"   
Prolonged hesitation, which for him grew more excruciating with each additional second. "Aaahhh, *sh* you know I'm not the one for all that romance stuff. Lil likes it, which is fine with me, but I don't go in for it. Lucky for her she has Chuckie."   
"You're stalling, Deville."   
"Oh, you just now noticed?"   
"I was kind of tipped off awhile back."   
"Well, like I was saying you know I don't go in for romance, but I have my moments. And when I surprise myself & get romantic you know it comes straight from here." He illustrated this with a Roman salute --- fist over heart. "So, well..."   
"Yes?"   
"Doc Suze?"   
"Ooh, two nicknames at once."   
"Yeah, this is serious."   
"HAH!"   
"Please."   
"Go ahead."   
"Um, a- are you sure I'm alright?"   
She was floored. "That's what you needed to ask, with the romance & all?"   
"Well, what could be more important to a person than whether that person is alright?"   
She was getting frustrated. "Phil Deville, you may never be alright."   
"Just answer me?"   
She exhaled through clenched teeth. "Fine. Physically, you'll be alright."   
"What about my knees?"   
"WHAT?!?"   
"My knees."   
"Your knees are just fine."   
"Good. I'm going to need them for what I'm about to do."   
"And what's that? Streaking across Antarctica?"   
"Nah. Tommy might do that, but I wouldn't."   
"Fishing for piranha with your bare hands?"   
"Maybe a pair of thick gloves."   
"Spelunking in Mt. St. Helens? Boogy-boarding down the slope of Kilauea?"   
"Hold on, let me get all this down. This is some good stuff--"   
"PHIL!!"   
"I'm kidding. This is bigger than all of that put together." He fell into thought again. "Except maybe that Kilauea one; that sounds cool."   
Disbelieving, exasperated, frustrated, all applied to Susie's mood. But Phil paid no mind as from his perch on top of her desk he stood, almost banging his head on the ceiling.   
"You don't even know if this desk can hold your weight."   
"Just another of those crazy Deville risks."   
She shook her head in disbelief, then, as he went down to one knee, she did something else in disbelief. "Whoa!"   
After a minute's struggle such as is to be expected when you're trying to fish something out of a pocket located in a part of your clothing that's currently bent at an inconvenient angle, he finally managed to force the box out of his pocket.   
"Whoa!" again.   
It was nutcracking time, & Phil did so. "Susannah Carmichael, will you marry me?" But he couldn't take the utter serious, so he ad-libbed from the traditional suitor's script. "I'll make you an honest woman." he added in a New York tough guy accent.   
Susie's euphoria ebbed & her brow furrowed at those last words, then she recognized the line from Grease. It was the scene where Rizzo had just told Kenickie she wasn't pregnant & he summarily proposed to her. *So, he's still trying to get me to play Rizzo to his Kenickie. Well, as long as no one else is watching...* "If dat's a line I ain't bitin'."   
"It's a bona fide offer." With that he extended the ring further, almost to her hand.   
She accepted it as she finished the scene. "Well, it ain't moonlight & roses, but..."   
The scene & the proposal / acceptance consummated, Phil leaned down to meet Susie's lips with his own. His arms reached out to encircle her, she still in her swivel chair (the kind with wheels --- they're called casters).   
Suddenly, "Cleve!"   
Susie was used to Phil's weirdness, but he could still surprise her. "What?"   
"That was his name, Cleve Francis."   
?????????????   
"That country-singing cardiologist I was telling you about."   
"Thank you very much for that, Phillip!"   
"Hey, only Lil can call me that."   
"You deserve it. And anyway, you called me Susannah first. Now you'd better either break this up or make some other arrangements beacuse the way you're going right now you're about to crush me."   
He was up to the challenge; he hit the floor for a split second before sliding into her chair, sliding her over onto his lap. She climbed on top of him & they initiated an impromptu makeout session, leaning the chair back to the wall.   
  
  
  
And baby makes three, as they used to say. Or former babies make three, couples, that is. So now that they're all engaged, the next step is to tell each other. And then, everything else. Cy'all next week, weather permitting. Continue to review, please. 


	6. We're What?

Finally, I'm able to submit Chapter 6. Y'all don't want to hear the tale of woe, which includes more storms, accidental delete, having to retype entierly from memory, & did anyone else have trouble connecting yesterday? I'll just have to get started earlier next time, that's all. Anyway, this chapter starts out as more T/K, but it includes the others, eventually.   
  
I'd like to thank the reviewers. In alphabetical order, thank you to Ally, Junior, Kimmy Larisa, Lil Kimi, Nightw2, & Starry Nights. Please keep reading & reviewing.   
  
Rugrats is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.   
  
It was a very exhausted Tom Pickles who finally trudged into Camp DareDeville under the load of his fiancee. At about the halfway point she had allowed him five minutes rest, then had jumped back on top of him & urged him onward. And so he went on, this time carrying her piggyback instead of in his arms. As they reached camp, Tom was quite vocal, although due to his exhaustion he was hard to hear.   
" *huh* Please get off, please get off, please get off, please get off, please get off..." And so on.   
Finally, "Oh, all right." She barely had time to step down before he collapsed under her. As he did, she stepped over him, walked around to in front of him, & bent down so that she was on eye level with him, which at the time was mighty low, considering that he had rolled over & was lying on his back.   
"You're exaggerating."   
"Easy for you to say; you were riding the whole way. Would you at least tell me why I carried you the whole way?"   
"Well, now that we're engaged, I want you to get used to carrying me across the threshold."   
"Oh." He had to smile at that. "Alright, I'll give you that. But what about the marathon to get here?"   
"That wasn't a marathon. A marathon is 26 miles, 385 yards. I've been in a couple of those so I would know. What you ran isn't anywhere near that."   
"It is if you're carrying 97 extra pounds! However far it was, why was I carrying you the whole way?"   
An evil grin came to her face. "Well, after the carrying across the threshold, there's this thing called the honeymoon."   
The smile turned rueful. "Please tell me you don't have a dominatrix outfit in storage."   
The grin deepened. "You'll just have to wait to find out."   
It was at this time that Kimi noticed the silence around them. She drew herself up to her full height & looked around. "Where are the others?"   
"Your training probably laid them up."   
"Very funny. I'll just go check in on Chuckie. Don't go anywhere."   
"How would I go?" she didn't hear him say as she skipped off to Chuckie's trailer.   
"Oh, big brother..." she sang as she entered without knocking.   
One minute later, she walked back out. "No big brother."   
The producer's trailer was close enough to where Tom lay a-dyin' (or so he thought) that he couldn't help but overhear what she was saying. He couldn't quite make it out, though, which would explain why his response was "Huh?"   
"He wasn't in there. I can't understand it; the twins should've been back by now too."   
"Like I said, maybe they're laid up."   
"And like I said..."   
"I'm serious. You know how the four of us are always getting into scrapes; maybe the Devilles did just that. And knowing how Chuckie feels about Lil, I'll bet they're all in the infirmary right now."   
"Hmm, it's worth checking out." She gave a serious, professional look at her fiance's supine form in the middle of the path. "Anyway it'll give me a chance to get you back into shape."   
"I was in shape this morning; then you happened."   
"Keep that up & I might buy back my introduction to you."   
"And another thing, how am I going to get there?"   
In response, she grabbed his hand & pulled with all of her considerable might. Inevitably, she had her way with him (so to speak), & he rose to his feet, although he was far from the man he had been that morning. Paying no heed to his protestations, she marched toward the infirmary, dragging him along by the hand.   
  
(A/N: Before I go on I'd better lay out the layout of the infirmary. It's divided in half lengthwise. In the front half, in the middle of which is the front door, is Kimi's office. The back half is itself divided in half, the other way. That's the two rooms I mentioned earlier, the one on the right being Susie's office. Now, back to the story.)   
  
The first thing he did after they entered the infirmary was to fall upon the couch in the front room. Kimi, meanwhile, crossed over to her desk, from which she produced certain substances vital to the health & recovery of the serious athlete.   
Carrying said substances, she joined her fiance on the couch. As he made no move to move any part of himself she chose to situate herself on his lap.   
"UHUNHNH!"   
"If you don't like it, you can move something."   
"I'm in no condition to."   
"Then you'll take me sitting on your lap & like it." And with that the physical trainer set about repairing the damage she'd wrought, opening his mouth for the bottle.   
"You know the drill. Hydrate yourself first, then the salt tablets." He managed a weak nod in response, & she set about administering the fluids & other vital materiel for the body, which he accepted as passively as though he was still the diaper-clad baby we all remember.   
That done, Tom slipped into a state of stillness. To anyone but Kimi, who knew better, it would seem that he was sleeping the sleep of the just & the weary. As she watched him, she brushed the stray hairs from his forehead. "Poor kid." she ventured.   
His eyes popped open at that. "I'm not a kid."   
She grinned; he'd taken the bait just as she'd hoped. "Well, aside from baby Dilly you're the youngest among us."   
"I am not; you are."   
Yes, they were born on the same day & year. But neither they nor even their own mothers knew the exact time. And even if they had there was still the matter of different time zones to consider. So the pair, who had over the years been dubbed the Virtual Twins among other names, were left to wonder, & for each to accuse the other of being older or younger as the need arose.   
Such was the case now as they continued. "You are the youngest."   
"No, Kimi, you are."   
"You are."   
"You are."   
"You are."   
"YOU ARE!"   
"YOU A--, eh?" Suddenly, Tom had his hand out.   
"We'd better stop this before we turn into Phil & Lil."   
That caused her to shudder. "*gasp!* Anything but that!"   
That bit of entertainment over, Kimi returned to her previous activity, which by now had progressed to caressing Tom's forehead, his face. "I must say, you've been very good about doing what I tell you to."   
"It's like I said, you've broken me."   
"When did you say that?"   
"Well, actually what I said was that if I didn't mess up every now & then you might subconsciously start looking for someone else to trai--"   
"I remember, I remember." Bringing her face to his, she cradled his head in both of her hands. "You have to understand, Sweetie, I have to keep you on a tight rein. If I didn't, the Tommy Pickles personality cult would quickly spin out of control, fomenting its own Cultural Revolution. The government would have to send in the Army AND the Marines."   
That provoked weak laughter.   
"You think I'm kidding, don't you?"   
"Well, yeah."   
"You think I haven't noticed that you get the most fan mail of any of us, & you're just one of us guests, technically. I'll bet at least half the business Pickles Toys gets is from wannabe Tommy-lovers."   
"Well, maybe, but come on. I mean, 'personality cult'? That's going a bit far, isn't it?"   
"Do you remember high school & college at all? Everyone --- and I do mean everyone --- was throwing themselves at you."   
"Everyone?"   
"Yep. Lil, Susie, Sam, everyone."   
"Oh, c'mon!"   
"We had our hands full fending them off of you."   
"'We'?"   
"Chuckie, Phil, Dil, me."   
"Not Lil & Susie?"   
"Well, only when they weren't trying for you themselves."   
"That's really going a bit far. I mean, Lil I could believe, but Susie?"   
"You could ask her yourself."   
"And Sam was Chuckie's crush."   
"You had the medallion."   
"That was Dad's, still is."   
"Details, details."   
"Look, you're exaggerating on all these girls chasing after me, Susie, Sam,..."   
"No I'm not. Look, I kid you not, one time at a slumber party even Angelica--"   
"NASTY!"   
"Just telling it like it is. One time at a slumber party --- she'd had a bit of something she shouldn't have --- I actually heard her say 'if he wasn't my cousin--'"   
"Okkay, that's just sick. I still think you're exaggerating."   
"Believe what you want, Pickles."   
Silence held sway for a bit, then,   
"I just don't get it; there's nothing special about me."   
"Oh, this from Everybody's All American."   
"Oh, the football thing."   
"Oh, that was just the icing on the cake. You are the easygoing, carefree, outgoing, charismatic individual everyone wants to be or be with. You have that certain mystique."   
"Mystique?"   
"Oh yeah, it's very powerful."   
She'd been leaning in closer as she was talking, & and now she started smooching him. After a few minutes of this she could hear his chuckling. She withdrew to face him. "What?"   
"My own personality cult."   
"Yeah."   
"So that's why you've been riding herd on me."   
"You need me to ride you, constantly."   
A smirk appeared on his face. "Like someone said a while ago, getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we?"   
They laughed together.   
"Just call me Chairman Tommy. Wonder what color my little book would be?"   
Kimi ran a hand through his hair, at which she stared before dropping her gaze back down to his eyes. "Gray, Tommy. Dark, dark blue-gray." And then her lips again dropped down to his. Simultaneously, his arms enfolded her. Kimi's ministrations had had their desired effect; Tommy was back to his old self, which was exactly how both of them wanted it.   
  
They'd been at it for a while, when Tommy noticed something. He got a frown on his face which Kimi immediately picked up on.   
"What?"   
"Don't you hear that?"   
"I don't hear anything."   
"Well, I do. And it sounds like it's coming from one of those rooms." he said as he pointed to the two rooms on the other side of the infirmary. "It might be the others."   
"You think?"   
"Well, figure it out." said a by now renewed Tommy as he moved Kimi off of his legs which he swung around to the floor. "We don't find them anywhere else & there's noises coming from there; what would you think?"   
"Well," said Kimi, "there's a good way to find out." And with that she was up & walking toward the door on the left (the one to the room containing Chuck & Lil).   
"Um, are you sure you want to do that?"   
"Why not?"   
"Well, the odds are that Susie would be in her office, which would mean--"   
"Good point. You take that one." Kimi said, crossing over to the door on the right.   
"Fine with me." said Tommy as he approached the door on the left. His hand approached the doorknob...   
"Tommy?"   
His head turned. "Yes, Kimi?"   
"Let's be quiet when we open them. No need to disturb the guys, just yet anyway."   
He had to laugh at that, and keep it quiet. Now two hands moved to their respective doorknobs.   
  
Two doorknobs noiselessly turned.   
Two doors soundlessly opened.   
On the other side...   
"Mmm, mmm, uh, wait, hold it."   
"Well, that's a switch."   
"What?"   
"Well, this is the first time you've been the one to stop it, although I would've in five minutes the way we were going."   
"And I would've wanted ten minutes past that. It's just that..."   
"What?"   
"Well, doesn't something feel funny to you?"   
"Mm, not bad, Deville. Intriguing, but I've heard better pick-up lines from you."   
"No, really. I mean, here I am, a woman warm & willing--"   
"You wish!"   
"--and I'm feeling a draft. Aren't you feeling a draft?"   
"Well, now that you mention it... I know I slammed that door closed."   
"Sometimes I slam a door too hard & it rebounds."   
"Hmm, plausible, but improbable."   
"So I guess we should check it out?"   
"Yeah, guess we should."   
And so two heads turned to the side and saw an open door...   
...and standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame arms crossed in front, a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin on the face, was Kimi Watanabe Finster.   
*WHUMP!*   
"Oh, please, don't let me interrupt."   
Hurried footsteps were heard, just before Tommy joined his fiancee in the doorway.   
"Ouch, I'll bet that hurts." he said just before looking crossways at Kimi. "I hope you didn't have anything to do with that."   
"Me? I was just standing here. Is it my fault something just happened to be going on?"   
"Better make that two somethings."   
"You mean...?" *ZIP!*, she was off.   
Before Tom left to join her he paused & turned to address Phil & Susie. "You guys might as well come too; I think you're going to want to see this."   
And again. "And for what it's worth, there's nothing to be ashamed of; you two weren't doing anything Kimi & I weren't doing a few minutes ago."   
And then he left. Phil & Susie, who'd been readjusting themselves all the while, were hot on his heels.   
  
What they found in the first room was Chuck & Lil, asleep, in each other's arms. The reactions were immediate.   
"That is so SWEET!"   
"Sweet? He's sleeping with my sister!"   
"Considering what you were doing a few minutes ago I wouldn't talk, Deville. And what about her sleeping with my brother?"   
"Considering what we were doing a few minutes before that I wouldn't talk either, Kimi."   
"Does it matter to anyone that they're both fully clothed?"   
Three heads mulled over Susie's question before giving an simultaneous "nope!"   
Then Tommy took charge, as was his wont. "Alright, there's no way they're going to be the ones sleeping after what I've been through today. Phil, you & Susie wake your sister. Kimi, let's wake your brother."   
Following the leader, the four moved to their assigned positions.   
"Sleeping Beauty?"   
"Prince Charming?"   
Chuckie was the first of the pair to awaken, though not immediately.   
"Hm, whu? 20 million a year? That's a joke! Why I could get more than that in, uh, er, wha?" as he finally realized where he was.   
Tommy laughed. "Welcome back to the land of the livid, Chuckster."   
Verbally, Phil now pounced on him. "Now maybe you can explain what you were doing with my sister?"   
"Like I said, Phil, you're not one to talk. But what was she doing with my brother?"   
"And like I said, Kimi..."   
At this point Lil finally woke up with one of her full-body yawns, accompanied by the usual too cute for words vocal effects. As her hand reached back, Susie --- from her vantage point behind --- noticed something and screamed.   
"What is it, Suze?"   
"Look at her hand!"   
"What?"   
"She's engaged, too!"   
"What do you mean 'too'?"   
"You're engaged too?"   
"What do YOU mean 'too'?"   
"Oh yeah, we're getting married."   
"We are too!"   
"We're ALL getting married!"   
This was Chuckie's first contribution to the dialogue, something which wasn't lost on his bestest friend.   
"Like I said, Chuckster, welcome--"   
"I heard you the first time. And you'd better be good to my sister, Pickles!"   
"For that matter, you'd better be good to my sister, Finster!"   
"*sigh*, why not? You'd better be good to my brother, Deville!"   
"And you'd better be good to my brother, Carmichael!"   
"Now that that stuff is out of the way, what say we go hit the table? We have lots of stuff to talk about now."   
Following Tommy's lead as usual, the group adjourned from that room & exited the infirmary, to reconvene around the table. As they sat, the couples held hands, now more than ever.   
  
Tommy kicked off the discussion. "So, we're all engaged. Now what?"   
"What do you mean, 'now what'?"   
"I guess we get married."   
"You guess?"   
"How about when?"   
"Do we have to decide now?"   
"As soon as possible, as far as I'm concerned."   
"Long courtships, short engagements. That's what I've always preferred."   
"I wanna have it in June."   
"Me too."   
"Me too!"   
"Um, does anyone here realize the problems in planning three weddings in one month?"   
"Hey, wait a minute. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"   
"Oh no! We're going to get married together, aren't we?"   
"Phil..."   
"Just like we've done everything together, for our whole lives, since we were in diapers."   
"Phil..."   
"The rate we're going, we'll probably die & be buried togeth-- *SMACK!*"   
"Thanks, Doc."   
"My pleasure."   
"So what do we tell the parents?"   
"What should we tell them?"   
"Let's just tell them we're all getting married."   
"It's not that simple."   
"Yes it is; we just make things harder than they need to be."   
"I don't need to tell you how HIS mom will react."   
"I'm wondering what they'll say myself."   
"What can they say? We're all adults in our mid-20's."   
"Thanks, Phil." said the 28 year old Susie.   
"And it's not like we're depending on them for anything."   
"We've been giving them more than they've been giving us lately."   
"Let's face it; we're rich."   
"Well, some of us are."   
"Just you wait."   
"Besides, we moved out years ago."   
"None of us have lived at our old homes since we left for college."   
"All the same, there's going to be a bit of an empty nest syndrome thing happening."   
"True, there's just something about getting married that's so, final!"   
"Anyone else ever notice how much the wedding march sounds like the funeral march?"   
"PHIL!" the others shouted.   
"What? I'm just pointing that out."   
"Like he was saying, our parents can't really do anything about it."   
"They'll deal with that empty nest syndrome."   
"Can't expect us to put our own lives on hold indefinitely because of them."   
"You want YOUR Mom & Dad's blessing, don't you?"   
"Well..."   
  
And so it went. The six of them stayed around the table & talked all through the night about engagements, weddings, marriages, parents, anything that came to mind.   
  
  
And so Chapter 6 goes. Now that you've read, please review. And I will try to get the next chapter up by Monday (methinks I'm the least forgiving of my mistakes, but that's just me). Cya then. 


	7. The Last Night

Folks, I must apologize for the unscheduled week's hiatus. I didn't take a week off; it just took me this long to get up the next chapter. Hopefully it won't take me as long to get up the parents' reactions; we'll see.   
  
Please read & review, of course. As to the reviews from Chapter 6, let's see. lil kimi, I really didn't mean to put in the sick stuff re. Angelica; it just happened. That will change, though, as you'll see in this chapter. And I have plans for her, as soon as she gets the word, over in France. Starry Nights, Kimi is not necessarily what she seems, and that's not a bad thing. You'll see. The 'rents' reaction will be the next chapter, Angelica the chapter after, I think. Junior, I like how you're picking out the comedy highlights. Kimmy Larisa, I liked that scene too, although I though I could've done better, but then I'm my own worst critic. Ally, Nightw2, thank you to you two too.   
  
Rugrats is created, copyrighted, & / or owned by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.   
  
The rest of the week went pretty much normally, or at least normally for them. The crew might have noticed the closeness between Tom & Kimi, Chuck & Lil, & / or Phil & the Doctor; but they were used to seeing such things, so they didn't really notice. The six had decided on that night that their parents would be the first to be let in on the engagements. The announcement would be made the night after they returned home. Until then, everyone, save one hand-picked person, would remain in the dark. There was a bash on the evening before departure, but it was passed off as celebrating a wrap-up of another successful season of DareDevilles.   
That night, as the men in one trailer & the women in the other tried to sleep (or at least some of them did at times)...   
  
(men's trailer):   
  
"So it's on."   
"Right."   
"As soon as we get back."   
"He'll meet us at the airport & go back to the studio with us. We'll do it there."   
"You sure."   
"Well, that's Phil's end. It's taken care of, right Phil?"   
"He'll be there. We'll go to the studio, it'll be done within an hour of landing."   
"I hope so; I gotta catch another flight tomorrow afternoon."   
"Where to?"   
"Oh no, Tommy. You're his brother, but that'd still be telling."   
"For crying out loud, Finster, it'll be official in less than 18 hours!"   
"Sorry, Deville."   
"Could you at least tell us how many time zones away it is?"   
"I guess that wouldn't give away too much. It's two time zones away."   
"Wait a minute; from here or from home?"   
"Both."   
"Hmm. I didn't know there were any teams in Alaska."   
"What are you talking about, Phil?"   
"Well, it's a cinch he's not talking two time zones from where we are now; there's no land in that time zone, just a stripe of the Atlantic."   
"*sigh* He knows so much about some things, yet so little about others."   
"And he's one of the people who signs the checks for thee & me both."   
"Frightening, isn't it?"   
"So you want to handle this?"   
"Might as well. Hell-"  
"HEY!!"   
"--ooo, anyone home?!?"   
"Stop that! I am not Marty McFly, & you are not Biff Tannen!"   
"Well, it fits. Look, Phil, if Chuckie says he's going to someplace two time zones from where we are, & two time zones from where we live, maybe it's somewhere in between?"   
"Ooh, Central Time Zone."   
"Right. Now he gets it."   
"Give me a break; I'm tired."   
  
...meanwhile...   
  
(women's trailer):   
  
"Psst. Lil. Susie."   
"Mmm, Kimi, do you know what time it is?"   
"All I need to know is it's night time; we need our sleep."   
"Listen to the doctor."   
"Yes, listen to me! We're going to be travelling four time zones tomorrow!"   
"I just had a talk with the trainer, & we can stand to be up for a while yet."   
"Kimi, you are the trainer!"   
"Oh yeah."   
"We might as well get it over with, Suze."   
"Hey, I let your brother call me that; that doesn't apply to you. Unless I can call you Lillian."   
"I don't even let Chuckie call me Lillian."   
"Guys?"   
"*sigh* Like I said, we'd better let her get it out; we won't be getting any sleep otherwise."   
"Okkay, what is it, Kimi-chan?"   
"Suze?"   
"Truce. What is it?"   
"Well, I might be needing you guys' help with Tommy."   
"With Tommy? You already bagged him, right?"   
"Well, yeah."   
"So what's the problem?"   
"Well, I kind of stretched the truth a bit."   
"*sigh*, What did you do?"   
"Well, I tried to explain to him why I'm so hard on him and--"   
"I didn't know you were hard on Tommy. At least not any harder than you are on all of us."   
"Well, in private I am. That day we all got engaged, I made him carry me all the way back from that hill."   
"If you can call it a hill."   
"Whoa! He came all the way back from there with you on his back?"   
"Well, only halfway; the first half I was in his arms."   
"Ooh, how romantic."   
"Well, after the first mile or so it kind of lost its appeal, for him at least."   
"So why are you so hard on him?"   
"I enjoy it; it's fun."   
"So just tell him that; he's the authority on fun."   
"Oh, yeah. How many times have we all heard him say, 'it'll be fun!'?"   
"I get the feeling it's not as much fun on the receiving end."   
"So what did you tell him?"   
"Well, I kind of got him believing he's God's gift to women, & that if I didn't keep him in line--"   
"Aaahhh, you've gotta be kidding!"   
"It gets worse. I told him we had our hands full fending off the girls through high school & college, including you two."   
"What?!?"   
"I didn't know you had a thing for Tommy, Susie."   
"Neither did I. Kimi!"   
"I even lumped Samantha & Angelica in."   
"Angelica?!?" "Now that is just nasty."   
"That's exactly what he said."   
"You know he's going to want an example."   
"I already gave him one. Remember that time at that slumber party when she said, 'If he wasn't my cousin'--?"   
"That didn't have anything to do with her being interested in him & you know it!"   
"I know."   
"I seem to remember having a similar conversation with Chuckie. What is it with you Finsters?"   
"I dunno."   
"True, he did have a full social life, second to none, and I was with him as much as anyone --- other than you --- but God's gift to women? He's cute, but he's not all that."   
"He is so!"   
"So wait, now you're trying to convince Lil, who used to date Tommy, who's now your fiancee, that said fiancee is all that? Girl, sometimes I don't know what you're thinking."   
"Who said she was thinking anything? I guess these Finsters are afraid that the golden couple will come together, leaving them out in the cold."   
"If that happened, we'd just team up & break up the other couple."   
"Hey!!!"   
"What, you don't think my brother is cute?"   
"I, I didn't say that."   
.................................................   
*loud prolonged laughter*   
  
(meanwhile, in the men's trailer):   
  
*click*   
"Mm, turn off that light, Phil!"   
"I can't sleep."   
"I thought you were tired."   
"I am, I'm too tired to sleep."   
"Too wired to sleep, if you ask me."   
"I was going to propose to Susie tonight."   
"You're too late. I hear someone else has beaten you to it."   
"Yeah, some guy named Deville."   
"Funny, guys."   
"Nah, there's just one of him."   
"The world couldn't handle any more."   
"Keep that up & I might have a word with my sister. While I'm at it, I might have a word with your sister."   
"HEY!!!"   
"Don't you even joke about that, Deville!"   
"I'm kidding, guys. You know me, the big kidder. She's stuck on you and you know it."   
"She'd better be, because if you two break up & you break those two up, Lil & I would be next."   
"Have I mentioned what a find Susie is?"   
"Wait a minute. What are we doing?"   
...................................................   
*loud prolonged laughter*   
  
(meanwhile):   
  
"Okkay now, repeat after me: Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Now say it again."   
"Now say it again."   
............................   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Again."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Again."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Again."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Ag--"   
"Susie, how many times are you going to make her say that?"   
"As many times as it takes for it to finally sink in. Girl, I don't need this. I just want to marry Phil, not hold everyone else's hand."   
"My brother's the one with the most problems."   
"My point exactly; he's going to be a full time project & I won't have time for anyone else."   
"Oh. Well, can't argue with that. Continue, then."   
"Lil!"   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Again."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Again."   
  
  
"So you were going to wait until tonight."   
"Yeah."   
"Never mind how chaotic the last night of a location usually is."   
"Well, yes."   
"Not to mention--"   
"Alright, Mr. Smooth. Just when were you going to pop the question to my sister?"   
"What makes you think he wasn't going to do it in the time & place he did?"   
"Oh, come on, Tommy! How could he have planned those circumstances?"   
"Hmm, Lil, in the infirmary, recovering from a threat of an injury; wow, what are the odds?"   
"Alright, you've made your point! But you still can't tell me he planned for that. My man Chuck here is all hearts & flowers, courting, wooing, the whole ball of wax."   
"I gotta admit, it wasn't the ideal circumstances. I just... Wait, why didn't you ask Tommy when he was going to propose to MY sister?"   
"Because it's not a Deville matter?"   
..................   
  
  
  
"Again."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Again."   
"Tommy loves Kimi."   
"Ag-"   
"Hmh, 'personality cult', she says."   
"What?"   
"You're interrupting again, Lil."   
"I can't help it. Kimi, personality cult?"   
"Well, it's not that much of an exaggeration. You remember high school; there were seniors hitting on him when he was just a freshman. And when we'd sneak into above-age parties there were collegians, young adults checking him out. And he couldn't even drive yet! When we go out, women still check him out."   
"Maybe men are checking you out."   
"I wouldn't know; I don't check out other guys."   
"Maybe he doesn't check out other gals."   
"I wish I could believe that."   
"If we could get back to letting me program Kimi here."   
"Y'know, this is a waste of time, Susie."   
"Oh?"   
"Sure. I can do the same thing in one minute."   
"Really. Well, I'm calling your bluff, Lil. Go to it."   
"Okkay. Kimi, did Tommy propose to you?"   
"Yes."   
"Does he want to marry you?"   
"Yes."   
"So what does that say?"   
"You want me to say that he loves me."   
"Do you have any cause to think he doesn't?"   
"Well, no."   
  
  
  
"You know him; things just always seem to fall together for him."   
"I'll admit they did this time, literally."   
"Oh?"   
"Yeah. It started when I got to the top of that hill. Would you believe I actually thought I beat her for once?"   
"What were you thinking?"   
"And then I got a little silly."   
  
  
  
"Your minute's up, Lil."   
"Susie, this is not the time!"   
"You got that right. I'll just be nodding off over here."   
"Now look, Kimi, the fact is he asked you to marry him; can you at least get that through your head that's thicker than your last name is long, Miss Watanabe-Finster?"   
"M-maybe."   
"A fine example of pop art."   
"Thank you, Vince & Larry; now just what are you talking about?"   
"What, you never took art class in college? That's a print. M-maybe, by Roy Liechtenstein 1964, from his comic strip period. He had all these paintings that looked like they came straight from the newspaper comics, even imitated the newsprint look."   
"Susie."   
"Yes, Lil?"   
"Can we get back to what we were talking about originally?"   
"Sorry; blame it on my need for sleep, hint hint."   
"Not with Kimi in the state she's in."   
"What state are we in? Does the state line run through this room?"   
"Suze?"   
"Alright, like you said let's get it over with."   
"Now Kimi, maybe if you told how he proposed. It's a cinch it was more romantic than how Chuckie proposed to me."   
"You gotta be kidding!"   
"No I don't, Susie. I don't think he meant to do it the way he did, but..."   
"Excuse me; could we get back to my problem?"   
"Please!"   
"So, Kimi, how did it happen?"   
"Well, I reached the top first of course. By then I had such a lead on him I had time to climb a tree. Well, when he came up he didn't see me, so I guess he thought he'd beaten me for once."   
"What was he thinking?"   
"So then he got a little silly."   
  
  
  
"You did that Titanic thing?"   
"Yep."   
"How did you even know of it? I didn't think you were interested in those old romances."   
"Kimi's dragged me to it enough times."   
"Wait, Chuckie, how'd you recognize it?"   
"Phil, remember to whom you're talking here."   
"Right. I go voluntarily."   
"He's even more whipped than I am."   
"And I love it even more."   
"Guys?"   
"Go on, Tommy. The sooner you finish, the sooner I can get some sleep."   
"Well, as I was making a fool of myself--"   
"So what's new?"   
"Not now, Deville."   
"Sorry, Finster."   
"Anyway, I guess I should've noticed her in that tree, because the next thing I knew--"   
  
  
  
"He never knew what hit him."   
"You didn't!"   
"She did."   
  
  
  
"She did. 97 pounds dropped on top of me."   
"Ooh."   
"So there she was, having her way with me--"   
"Watch it!"   
"So to speak. She even gave me a knock on the head."   
  
  
  
"Isn't that dangerous?"   
"As opposed to what the four of us do day in day out?"   
"Good point."   
"Well, I was getting tired of standing on his shoulders..."   
  
  
  
"...so she sat on my neck."   
"What?"   
"Can you say 'choke'?"   
  
  
  
"I'll admit he didn't sound good."   
"You think?!?"   
"I was trying to make him comfortable, did a little shake & bake with the ol' hips."   
  
  
  
"What?!?!?"   
"Well, consider what parts of her were around my neck."   
"I DON'T need to hear this! That's my sister you're talking about!"   
"What are you yelling at me for? SHE's the one doing it! I told her she was misbehaving, acting like you-know-who again, and SHE said..."   
  
  
  
"YOU DIDN'T!!!"   
"I did."   
"Girl, you could drive a person to drink, and if I was drinking I would already have done dozens of spit takes from this conversation."   
"Alright, Kimi. That's twice you've put Tommy with Angelica, the wrong kind of kissin' cousins thing. What's your deal?"   
"I dunno."   
"And she does that to her hero; the rest of us, be afraid, be very afraid."   
  
  
  
"Man, I REALLY don't need to hear this!!!! It's bad enough hearing about what my sister's doing with you, but add HER into the mix--"   
"What's your problem with Angelica anyway? You've always managed to be civil with her in person."   
"That's the best I can do. And it's fortunate that I don't see her more often. Don't you remember the things she used to do to me?"   
"Chuckie, that was over twenty years ago."   
"It still hurts!"   
"Guys, back to my story."   
"Go on, Tommy."   
"With caution."   
"More caution than Kimi uses."   
"Hey!"   
"Anyway, she finally went too far, because about then I lost my balance."   
"You fell, with her on top of you?"   
"Hey, it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been on top of me."   
"I resist the urge to make a joke on that."   
"Thank you."   
  
  
  
"So what did you do?"   
"Well, I could see I was going over his head, in every way, so I went automatic. I hooked my ankles behind his head to stop myself. And my hands grabbed onto whatever they could find."   
"Meaning his..."   
"I'm afraid so."   
  
  
  
"Meanwhile her face was in my--"   
"Don't say it!"   
"Well, from what I can figure, it evens out. His face would have had to have been in her--"   
"Don't say that either!"   
"Is he ever on edge."   
"Only about her. I have to protect her, & watch out for her, I have to be a big brother."   
"I hear you on that; I'm a big brother too."   
"No offense, Tommy, but it's just not the same."   
"Besides, that's his job now."   
"Not yet it isn't."   
"Actually, she can take care of herself."   
  
  
  
"I can take care of myself, thank you."   
"As you prove time & again."   
"So what happened?"   
"Well, I was screaming, he was screaming, I don't know about him but if it hadn't been for the falling I would've felt pretty good considering."   
"Susie, is my face red by now?"   
"I don't know; the light here's no good."   
  
  
  
"So there we were, rollin', we're rollin', we're rollin', we're rollin', ohhhhhh."   
"Classic Soul Coughing."   
"I wouldn't have thought I'd ever hear those three words together."   
"Hey, it makes as much sense as A Flock of Seagulls or Strawberry Alarm Clock."   
"Umm..."   
"Don't look at me; he's the music expert among us."   
"That reminds me, about 'Il'n'..."   
"Not this again."   
"Lil says, and I quote, 'that is so not happening'."   
"Did I say for you to mention it to her?"   
"You think I could keep it from her? Anyway, she figured it out."   
"So she's let me know."   
"Guys?"   
"You two were rollin', et cetera."   
  
  
  
"Fortunately we only rolled a few hundred feet. We must have caught something, because next thing I knew we'd rolled sideways to a stop."   
"That doesn't sound very accurate."   
"It's not, but you get the idea."   
"You should have reported in, let me check you two out."   
"We did, as soon as we got back. And when we did, you were still checking Phil out."   
"Well..."   
"She got you there, doc."   
"Can we just wrap this up?"   
"Hee hee hee, *etc.*"   
"And would you stop it with the 'too cute for words' noises?"   
"Back to me. When we stopped, I was on top of him, as I should be. After a bit of conversation..."   
  
  
  
"...I popped the question."   
"Just like that?"   
"No, not just like that. We talked, & I decided that while there might be a better time--"   
"No time like the present."   
"Point taken. But I figured that there wouldn't be a better place than where I felt when with her..."   
  
  
  
"...at the top of the world."   
"Ooh! That is so sweet!"   
"Yep, definitely more romantic than Chuckie. I guess I caught him on a bad day."   
  
  
  
"Definitely more romantic than how I proposed to Lil."   
"You'd better have an explanation for that, Finster."   
"I do."   
"Keeping in practice, Chuckster?"   
"My explanation is that I acted in haste. I was at my desk, looking at her picture, and the ring. Then I got the call about your accident."   
"It wasn't really an accident. I just slipped; Lil wasn't hurt at all."   
"Did you hear what I said, Chuckie?"   
"Hmm? What did you say, Tommy?"   
"I asked if you were keeping in practice."   
"Oh. When did you say that?"   
"A minute ago!"   
"I think he chose not to acknowledge the term 'Chuckster'."   
"Well, sorry!"   
"'Salright. As I was saying, I got the call about the accident--"   
"I'm telling you, it was just another DareDeville dust-up!"   
"Fine, Phil. But I took off for the infirmary so fast I didn't even notice I brought the ring with me. When I got there I had a little talk with Susie--"   
"I know; I overheard part of it."   
"You did?"   
"It wasn't that hard to. Not with my ear to the door."   
"Mm-hmm."   
"You were saying?"   
"Well, when I saw her..."   
  
  
  
"...I was yawning."   
"One of your full-body yawns?"   
"I was stretching if that's what you mean. Next thing I knew he had me in a crushing hug. We were so close I could feel what was in his pocket."   
  
  
  
"You two were that close, huh?"   
"Phil."   
"He knows I'm kidding around with him. Although it would probably be just as well if he didn't."   
"You can be so menacing when you want to be. Anyway, remember that she's your big sister."   
"She's only older by a minute. So she felt the ring box."   
"Yeah. Well, it was then that something said to me 'you're here, she's here, the ring's here, do it now, before you lose your nerve!'"   
"You have some?"   
"Please. Go on, Chuck."   
"So I proposed."   
  
  
  
"Just like that."   
"Well, we went through the rules first."   
"Any particular reason?"   
"He asked me to shut up."   
"The nerve!"   
"And I thought we had him trained so well."   
"We do. He just had a lapse. He really is good at following the rules; he cited a rather obscure one. Besides, I punished him; he won't do that again."   
"You punished him?"   
"Alright, so it wasn't for that, it was for calling me Lillian. He'll still remember it."   
  
  
  
"For calling her Lillian, huh? I still don't understand that thing you Devilles have."   
"Like she says, we shared a womb, and all that."   
"Heard it."   
"Hey, where are you going?"   
"To bed. I'm on two plane trips tomorrow, across four time zones & back two. I need my sleep."   
"Don't you want to hear about how Phil proposed to Susie?"   
"No. We covered my proposal, I listened to how my sister got engaged, and that's enough."   
"Lil might not like it, you not interested in her brother's proposal."   
"She'd have already bagged it by now."   
  
  
  
"Hold on, Carmichael. You don't get off that easily."   
"We need our sleep, Lil!"   
"I tend to agree."   
"Kimi?!?"   
"My professional advice is for us to turn in now."   
"But you were the one who got us up!"   
"Them's the breaks."   
"But what about your problem?"   
"I'll think about it tomorrow."   
"Watch it with the Scarlett refs."   
"Night, you two."   
"Don't you just hate it when she pulls rank?"   
"Don't ask me; I agree with her on turning in."   
"Just tell me how Phil proposed. This is my brother we're talking about, & I will know how he got hooked."   
"He's the one who did the hooking."   
  
  
  
"One word: Grease."   
"Oh, so she got the hickey from Kenickie."   
  
  
  
"So he finally talked you into being Rizzo."   
"Just for that moment. As long as no one else was around."   
"'Around' apparently not referring to the next room."   
"Could you hear us?"   
"Well, no."   
"There you are, then."   
"So what else happened?"   
"Nothing that I'm at liberty to tell."   
"So something did happen."   
"I'm not saying. Now I don't care what you're doing, Princess, but I'm going to bed right now; I value my sleep."   
"Yeah, you're right. Big day tomorrow."   
"Our guy is going to be there."   
"Yeah, Phil arranged it & I trust my brother with this. Besides, I already checked up on him."   
"You too, huh?"   
*laughter*   
  
  
  
"Anything else happen?"   
"Um, no."   
"I'm hearing hesitation."   
"Hear what you want, Pickles."   
"Well, whatever it was, I guess you're not going to talk about it. We might as well turn in too."   
"Sounds like a plan."   
  
  
  
"Good night, Susie."   
"Good night, Lil."   
  
  
  
"Good night, Phil."   
"Good night, Tommy."   
  
  
  
So goes their last night on location. Of course the next step is telling their parents. Hopefully I've raised points & questions to consider for future chapters. Again, please review, y'all. 


	8. Families & Other Party Games

And here we are again with the daylater (hey, that sounds Australian imo). As usual, I'm sorry I'm late. I'm also sorry that we don't get to telling the parents just yet; this first part just kept growing & growing & next thing I knew it was too big to put the other part on there too. Well, I'll get to it next week, which means Angelica will find out the week after & she'll join them on that same day (in the story, not in real life) & when she does, look out! Fair warning: there is some crossover in this and it will continue in both succeeding chapters & down the road HA! fics which are to date in my mind but which will be written in a matter of time. Also, I'd like to apologize in advance to any New York Yankees fans who might be offended. You might think that I'm a fan of the Texas Rangers, which would be true. I'm also a fan of the current president, so please don't misconstrue the use of his daughter in this fic.   
  
Thanks for the reviews. I admit the dialogue was a bit confusing. I've been reading some Rrs & HA! fics & saw terse dialogue where it was hard figuring out who was talking without repeated readings & I guess I must've picked it up. I don't really like playing 'he said she said' & I'm not the only one. ;) In alphabetical order, I'd like to thank Ally, Kimmy Larisa, Lil Kimi, Nightw2, & Starry Nights. Thank y'all.   
  
Rugrats & all Rugrats characters & concepts are created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom. The Wally Show, Timberly Johanssen & her brothers, the city of Hillwood & Mickey Kaline Jr. are created, owned & / or copyrighted by Craig Bartlett, Snee-Oosh, & / or Nickelodeon, which as I said is owned in turn by Viacom. A Family Thing was distributed by MGM, The Godfather by Paramount. The Houston Texans are copyright the National Football League. The Texas Rangers & the New York Yankees are copyright Major League Baseball. Barbara Ann was written by Fred Fassert & was released by Capitol Records on the album Beach Boys Party. Tiny Toon Adventures & all TTA characters are copyright Time-Warner / Amblin Entertainment. The Memphis Grizzlies are only obliquely referred to here & are not to be confused with the Grizzlies of the Baseball episode of Rugrats, even if such was my intention. Be that as it may, that team is still copyright the National Basketball Association. Beau Geste was written by Percival Christopher Wren & at least one version of it is copyright Regnery Publishing. And I'm starting to get sick of all of these disclaimers, but what can we do.   
  
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!*   
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!*   
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!*   
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!*   
*CLICK*   
"Hello, you have reached..."   
"Fort DareDeville,"   
"the residence of"   
"Tom Pickles,"   
"Kamikaze Kimi Watanabe-Finster,"   
"C.C. 'Chuck' Finster III,"   
"Phil & Lil Deville,"   
"and Dr. Susie Carmichael."   
"Most of us are here right now,"   
"But we're unable to come to the phone"   
"because we're sleeping off"   
"the jet lag we got"   
"on our last plane trip."   
"Except for me, but I'm out of state right now."   
"If you'd leave your name,"   
"your number,"   
"and / or a message,"   
"we'll get back to you"   
"as soon as we recover."   
"You might want to wait until you hear a beep first."   
*BEEP!*   
"Hello, kids, it's Didi Pickles. Hello, Tommy. The get-together has been pushed back a day, because we think that Charlie should have a chance to recover from the jet lag he'll have when he gets back tomorrow; I hope none of you will be inconvenienced by that. The time & place are the same; our house at 6:00. See you then, bye kids!"   
  
It was 5:45 on the day of the Pickles party. The four families --- Pickles, Finster, Deville, & Carmichael --- were gathered at Stu & Didi's house to celebrate the numerous recent accomplishments of their collective progeny, with a few exceptions.   
Two of these exceptions were now at the studio where DareDevilles was filmed & the results of the shoots assembled into the episodes. The executive producer was emerging with a certain videotape and was at that moment getting into the shotgun position of a certain station wagon driven by a high ranking executive of one of the chief sponsors of the show.   
"Please tell me that other tape is already here."   
"I got it before we came here; it's in the glove compartment. You wanna get it out? We want both of them at the ready."   
"Right. Um, we're running short on time; are you sure we won't be late?"   
"We won't. Time to floor it, Finster!"   
"Um, no, don't do that."   
"Chuck, take your foot off the brake."   
"Only if you promise not to speed."   
"Alright, I promise not to speed."   
"Good."   
"Did anyone ever tell you you're just a bit edgy?"   
"Only every day of my life."   
"Not EVERY day."   
"So I exaggerate. Can you blame me?"   
"Yes. This constant gloom & doom of yours has a bad effect on you; you ever wonder why you occasionally get tagged 'Stinky'?"   
"'Cause I got skunked that time?"   
"So did our dads. No, I think your anxieties have a bad effect on your body. Which reminds me, here's your Pee-No."   
"*snort*, bad name for it."   
"Well, it works. Now wipe that frown off your face; we want to look our best for our families, especially with what we're going to spring on them."   
"Yeah. Oh, I'm getting nervous again."   
"Just chill out. Just flake out, totally relax your body & let your mind go. Try not to think of anything."   
"I might go to sleep."   
"If you do I'll wake you in plenty of time."   
"Thanks, Tom."   
"Don't thank me; there's only so many pills here."   
"Very funny."   
  
No further words were said as the two young men, destined to become brothers-in-law, drove on in silence.   
When the wagon pulled into the Pickles driveway, they saw a dark figure in front of the house. A little later & it would have been hard to tell who it was. It was the last week before Daylight Savings went into effect, & the shadows of evening were starting to manifest themselves. However, there was still some light, & they recognized the figure in front of the house even before they emerged from the car.   
Chuck was the first to speak. "Susie?"   
"Hi, Chuckie. Hi, Tommy."   
"Hi, Susie. Shouldn't you be inside with Phil & the others?"   
"Yeah. I just needed some air."   
"*sigh* What's the problem?" Tom asked.   
"Well, Buster's in there."   
"He actually found time between his football & soccer schedules?"   
Chuck cut in. "Tommy, please. Is there a problem you have with your brother we don't know about?" he then asked Susie.   
"Poor Phil; he's in deep enough already."   
"Tommy?" Chuck warned.   
"Sorry. Go on, Susie."   
"Well, other than making noise about asking you to be his agent, Chuckie, I have no problem with him."   
"I hope he doesn't expect me to do for him what I did for Dil. Once you hit your mid-30's--"   
"I'm not worried about that. But he brought his new wife with him."   
"And the problem is...?" Tom wondered.   
"We just have a problem with the age difference."   
"Susie, she's just a year younger than Dil."   
"And Buster has seven years on me! Do you know what that means?"   
"Um, lemme see, don't tell me, it's..."   
"An eleven year age difference." Chuck interjected.   
"Thanks, genius. I was about to say that."   
"You snooze, you lose?"   
"Not bad, Chuck. Just a little more assertive & I could actually believe you have a backbone."   
"Sit across the negotiating table from me, then we'll talk."   
"Guys?"   
Tom returned his attention to its rightful place. "Sorry, Susie. But you do realize there's a couple years difference between you & Phil."   
"Two years, not eleven!"   
"Well, we'll let that go for now. Is there anything else?"   
"Well, it doesn't help that she & Dad are in the same business."   
"She's a writer for animation?"   
"Not animation. It's that Wally show on Public Television."   
"Eugh!" the boys chorused.   
"Yeah. Let's just say family gatherings at the Carmichaels are just a bit tense these days."   
No one said anything. Then a breeze manifested itself. Chuck pulled up the collar of his windbreaker.   
"We'd better get inside." he commented.   
Tom agreed. "Yeah. Don't worry about it, Susie. I'm sure that in time, you & the rest of your family will come to love Timberly."   
"I hope you're right, Tommy."   
"You're always the optimist, you know that, Tommy?" Chuck observed as they turned to the door.   
"Yeah, you & I balance each other out, don't we?"   
"Let's just get inside!" Chuck grumbled.   
  
The trio entered the house, only to run right into Betty Deville.   
"There you are! Hey, Deed, the last of the pups have entered the pen! Except the runt, of course."   
"We're not exactly on the penned-up level anymore, Mrs. Deville." Tommy said.   
"Ah, try telling a mom her pups are ready to leave the nest; it ain't gonna happen." And with that she'd disappeared into the crowd, doing who knows what.   
"Boy is she formidable." Tommy commented.   
"You're telling us?" came from Chuckie. "Why do you think Susie & I let you handle her?"   
"Right," Susie agreed, "you're the only one of us who's not getting her for a mother-in-law."   
That gave young Pickles pause. Then the shudders. "oooh! Betty Deville for a mother-in-law, no thanks! I'd prefer Kira Finster."   
"She's a good mom, too." Kira's stepson deadpanned, drawing smiles from the others.   
"Susie?" That was Dr. Lucy Carmichael. "Oh, thank goodness you're back! Could you please come over here & help us?"   
"*sigh* Wish me luck, you guys."   
"Good luck." wished the guys.   
  
She had barely left their sight when the effects of Betty Deville's mouth made themselves known; namely, Didi Pickles, with both senior Finsters in tow.   
"Well, welcome back, guy. We've been waiting for you two."   
"Hello, Charlie."   
"Hi Dad. Hi Mom."   
"Tommy, were you outside without a jacket?"   
"I didn't need it, Mom. It's in the 70's outside."   
"Well, you never know when an evening chill might happen."   
"She has a point there." Chuck didn't help. "The wind was picking up."   
"Oh, thanks, friend."   
"You're welcome."   
"Tail kisser!"   
"Apron-stringer!"   
"Mirror-boy!"   
"Guys?" Chaz interrupted. Taking advantage of the break to stop their insults, the boys went to their corners, so to speak. Tom returned his attention to his mother.   
"Mom, where's Dad?"   
"Well, I guess he's still in the basement?"   
"Why do you two still work in that basement, anyway?" asked Chuck. "You have that r&d department at the factory downtown."   
"We're used to coming up with things down there. It's where our creative energies are the strongest."   
"What, did you get Master Bong to tell you that? Uh, no offense, Mom."   
"None taken, Charlie."   
"We didn't need to. Dad & I tried the labs, but it just wasn't the same. No, we can go about our business here thinking up inventions before we run it past our people. (And I can pick the bugs out of Dad's devices before then too)." he added the last part under his breath.   
That got a laugh out of Chuck; fortunately for Tom, he was the only one to hear it.   
"What was that, Tommy?"   
"Nothing, Mom. Um, it would probably be a good idea for Dad to knock off about now. Chuckie & I got the entertainment for the evening." With that, the two young men each held up a videotape.   
"The uncut version of Dil's press conference from yesterday?" inquired Chaz.   
His son nodded. "Well, it's not really uncut because there are ladies present, but yeah. And the season finale of DareDevilles. Don't tell the others, though; we want for just our eight parents to be the first ones to see it."   
"Wow! Well, I guess we'd better get Stu up here then."   
And with that, the older adults set off for the basement. The younger adults, following in their wake, listened in on their conversation.   
"My son, the executive producer."   
"And super agent to the stars. They're not little kids anymore."   
"They'll always be little kids to me. Honestly, Kira, do you see a grown woman when you look at Kimi?"   
"Hmmm. You do raise a good point, Didi."   
"Hey, Chaz!"   
It was the senior Finster's old college buddy; of course, he had to respond.   
"Um, I'll be right with you, Howard!" Then, "Um, Didi, how about you & the guys go on without us?"   
"Alright, Charles."   
Kira turned back to the boys. "Are you going?"   
By then, Tom & Chuck had spotted the rest of the gang. "Well, we'd like to, Mrs. Finster, but..."   
"...but we'd like to check in with my sister & the others."   
Kira smiled. "I understand. See you around the house, then; I'm sure Didi can find the way by herself."   
"I would hope so," Tom quipped, "she's only lived here for 25 years."   
Kira nodded, then followed Chaz. "Koidi-do? Wait for me!"   
  
"There's my guys!" came out of nowhere. As did the owner of that voice; with it, Kimi launched herself at Tommy.   
"Excuse me?" came from Lil, who was performing a similar action on the other newcomer. "I believe Chuckie is--"   
"My brother." Kimi finished, putting her brother in a headlock while maintaining her grip on Pickles. "I'm sure you think of Phil the same way?"   
"Well..." Lil didn't answer, while looking at her twin. "Oh, Phiiiiil-liiiiiiip." Phil, nervous at seeing that familiar look in his sister's eyes, made a circuit just outside of the girls' reach, stopping behind the relative safety of the other guys.   
And proceeded to put them through a different type of discomfort. "So, where's my Suze? What did you two do with Sue?"   
"Disallowing for the moment your rhyming thing," Tom started.   
"It wasn't us; it was the Carmichaels." Chuck finished. "She was on the porch when we got here; as soon as we came in her mother claimed her."   
"Ah, it's a family thing."   
"Um, Phil, you realize that movie had nothing to do with The Godfather, so there's no need for your cheezy Italian accent."   
"Oh, I dunno, Tom, they both had Robert Duvall. And who better to do Duvall than Deville?"   
"Is that my man's illogical logic I hear?"   
"Suze!" And the third couple was now complete.   
But Susie had not come alone; two others were with her, one of whom now made his presence known. "Hey what is this?"   
Chuck fielded that one. "Well, 'this' is an indefinite pronoun which signifies something close at hand, as opposed to 'that' which signifies something other than in a certain place. The plural of it is 'these', and..."   
Buster cut him off. "I mean, what's going on here?", glaring at the Phil & Susie couple as he did so.   
Susie stood up to her brother. "What's going on is I'm showing affection for the man I love; you have a problem with that?"   
Tom tried to perform some damage control. "Hi, Buster."   
"Hello, college boy."   
"Are you still on that?"   
"Well, what would you expect? You didn't turn pro like you should've; I never got a chance to see how good the All-American really is, or should I say was."   
"He's in the best shape of his life." Kimi didn't help.   
"You don't say? Why don't you try out for a team, then? I've heard from some guys who played with Coach George that there's still a spot for you on the Texans, if you have the stuff. It'd be a treat; we defensive players are getting bored with Simms as quarterback."   
"No thanks. I'm content as a sergeant of industry."   
"I thought it was captain of industry." Chuck whispered.   
"The company's not that big." Tom whispered back. "Besides," he continued, turning back to Buster, "you think I'd really want to go on the line with 'brain-Buster' Carmichael? No QB's safe from you!"   
Then Susie horned in. "Hey Buster, you'd better not hurt any of my friends. Need I remind you I'm a doctor?"   
"What's your point?"   
"My point is, as a doctor I know where the nerves are." Susie strongly hinted. Even more strongly as she pinched a certain spot on her brother.   
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"   
Lil took that moment to huddle. "Um, Chuckie, we need to talk."   
The two of them stepped to the side. "What is it, Lil?"   
"I need for the genius to figure something. How many people would you say are in danger so far?"   
"Hmm, well, so far I count Phil, Tommy, Buster, & Susie."   
"That's what I figured too. So for their sakes, as well as for those who might also get drawn in, someone needs to do something to stop this."   
"Meaning me?"   
"Please?"   
"Alright." Chuck took a breath, then stepped toward Buster. "Pardon me, Buster Carmichael?"   
Grips relaxed. "Yes?"   
"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm C.C. 'Chuck' Finster III--"   
"Agent to the stars? I've been wanting to meet with you."   
"Like he hasn't known Chuckie since he was ten." Kimi muttered.   
But now her brother was in his element. "Well, I hate talking shop while I'm trying to r&r, but what say we..." As Chuck led Buster to one side, his voice faded to the others.   
Kimi was proud. "Bestest big brother in the world."   
"Not counting me?" Tom asked.   
"Oh, are you a big brother?"   
"Hello." The gang now focused on the other newcomer. And I mean new; most of them had never met her before.   
"Oh, where are my manners?" said Susie. "Everyone, I'd like for you to meet my sister-in-law, the former Timberly Johanssen."   
"Hello"s & "Hi"s all around.   
"Timberly, this is--"   
"Oh, I know who they are. 'DareDevilles' is one of my favorite shows!"   
"We get a lot of that." Phil commented.   
At the same time, Tommy countered "that, and the Wally show."   
"Of course." Timberly sheepishly said. "When I first met Buster, I had no idea that his father was Randy Carmichael of 'Dummi Bears' fame."   
Why did she say that? It's doubtful that even she knew. An uncomfortable silenced ensued, broken by Lil. "So, Timberly, where are you from?"   
"Ever hear of Hillwood, Washington?"   
That provoked a chorus of "no"s, the lone dissenter of which was Tom. "Sure."   
Heads turned. "Really?"   
"Sure. That place turned out some of the stars of those Washington colleges that gave us such a big problem with winning the conference. Hillwood, Washington? Of course. The home of the jumpin', jivin', jammin' Johanssen brothers..." he trailed off, making the connection.   
Which Timberly confirmed. "...and the Johanssen sister. I'm the cute one." she quipped.   
That was Phil's cue. "Now where did I put my drum kit."   
"Mom probably took the axe to it, Phillip!"   
Tom went into diplomat mode. "Timberly, something tells me you're going to fit in just fine around here."   
Timberly brightened. "Really?"   
"Yeah," Kimi interrupted, "and if not, your family back home will never know what happened to you; once you join our little group you never get out."   
"What about Samantha?" Lil asked.   
"She's still in; she's just elsewhere at the moment."   
"Right."   
"Way to make her feel better, Kimi." Tom muttered, before trying once again. "No, really, we take some getting used to but that passes & you find yourself with a whole bunch of friends. It just happens that my brother Dil is just a year older than you."   
"The billion dollar baby?"   
"That's what they're calling him. Hopefully not to his face."   
"My brother got him that contract." Kimi boasted.   
"Speaking of," Tom said, noticing Chuck & Buster returning to their midst.   
"...so you see it's far more simple than the old 'have your people call my people' cliche; you want me working for you so we sign a paper or two & there it is."   
"Makes sense."   
"Sounds like the 'super agent to the stars' has struck again." Lil commented.   
"So what's the good word, 'C.C.'?" Phil asked.   
"Well, I'd like for you people to meet my newest client."   
"Yeah, now you can get them to show me the money!"   
Silence.   
Broken by Chuck. "Um, Buster, before we go any farther, you need to know that that old line is so obsolete. It's gone the way of 'Dyno-mite!'."   
"I've been telling him that for so long." said Susie.   
"No offense, baby sister, but I just had to hear it from someone in the business."   
Timberly was giggling for some reason. "What?" Buster asked.   
"Well, when you said 'baby sister'..."   
"Oh yeah, you told me about someone upstate who doesn't like that term. Don't worry; I only use it on Suze." Buster responded.   
Susie bristled at that. "Oh, Timberly, next time we're both at Mom & Dad's, remind me to show you some of Buster's baby pictures."   
That caused Buster to break into a sweat. "Um, where's my agent?"   
Chuck was on the job. "Don't worry; I'm sure I can work something out with Susie. Although I imagine a good start would be not calling her 'Suze'."   
"Is it always like this?" asked Timberly.   
"No, but it'll pick up in a bit." said Phil.   
"Like I said, you'll get used to it." Tom said to Timberly.   
"And they'll get used to me? Even my new in-laws?"   
"Hey, they got used to his dad; you'll be easy." said Phil.   
"What's that supposed to mean, Deville?"   
"Only that Stu Pickles is the biggest & oldest Dummi Bears fanboy on the planet."   
"The point is," Tom said, turning his attention away from Phil, "the Carmichaels will come around."   
"I hope so. Since I knew to read the credits on tv shows Randy Carmichael has been one of my heroes. I didn't expect to become his daughter-in-law, & I certainly don't want to be on his bad side."   
Unbeknownst to the group, the current topic of conversation was now behind the representatives of his family. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything..."   
That provoked a variety of responses, including "Dad!" & "Daddy!"   
"...but some of the others have been wondering when we'll be seeing those videotapes I hear you've brought."   
Tom again defused the situation. "We're on it, Mr. Carmichael. Right, Chuck?"   
"Right. Spread the word; the show's about to start."   
  
Minutes later, everyone had gathered in the living room, vying for any available spot in view of the Pickles tv.   
"What a shame that Dil couldn't be here." said Didi.   
"He's still packing for his trip; he'll be here tomorrow, he's assured me." said Chuck.   
"You know Angelica wanted to be here." said Charlotte, next to Drew. "She just couldn't get out of her schedule in Paris. She & Timmy send their love."   
That brought a frown to Chuck's face; Lil noticed & squeezed his hand.   
"Chuckeroo? It's your show." Tom prompted.   
"Right." Chuck approached the tv, videotape in hand.   
Before he inserted the tape, he turned to face the others. "For the record, I need to say before we start that since this covers something at which I was one of the principles, I could just as easily tell you what you want to know as play this for you."   
"Just stick it in, Chuckie." came from his fiancee.   
"Keeping in practice, Lillian?"   
"Don't be disgusting, Phillip!"   
"Phil, not being disgusting?" Tom faked incredulity. "Besides, you still go for the bugs & mud & worms as much as he does."   
"There's mud, & then there's dirt."   
By now they were getting shushes from all sides, so Tom indicated that Chuck should start the show, which he did.   
The tape went in. PLAY was pushed. Fade in to a long table with a number of chairs on the far side. It was, basically, a typical sports press conference.   
"Um, the reason you're not seeing anything happening just yet is that it's taking a while for them to get situated. You can see that we're--"   
"SHHH!"   
"I'm just saying that there won't be anything worth seeing or hearing for a few minutes, so if anyone wants me to hit CUE--"   
"Hey, do you mind? We're trying to hear this."   
"But there's nothing worth hearing! There won't be for a while!"   
"Quiet, please."   
"Look, I was there, I know what's going to happen, what you're going to see & hear!"   
"Chuckie, shut up!"   
"Please, guy?"   
"If you don't mind, Charlie."   
Even his parents; that capped it. Chuck slumped down & kept quiet for the next few minutes, minutes he knew would pass without incident on the screen.   
Finally, "Anyone mind if I go get a glass of water?"   
No response, which he took as a 'yes'. So he hit the kitchen.   
Glass in hand, other hand on faucet, water pouring into the glass. He took a sip, then turned around, leaning on the sink. He was not happy right now, and for no good reason.   
Eyes closed, he knocked back half the glass. He held the water in his mouth, allowing it to slowly succumb to small swallows. As soon as his mouth cleared, he sighed. "I don't know why I even try."   
At that moment he felt the comfort of a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes & looked up, into the smiling, concerned face of his lifelong friend; Tom had apparently followed him from the living room.   
"You try because you're our friend, & because you care." That brought a smile to Chuck; Tom went for more. "I know we don't tell you often enough, but we do appreciate what you do."   
As unhappy as Chuck was a minute before, that was how happy he was now. "Thanks, Tom."   
"If anyone deserves thanks, it's you." said Tom as he settled into a place on the sink ledge side by side with his best friend.   
Chuck checked his watch. "It'll be starting in two minutes."   
"Is that your two minute warning?"   
"Hah." Chuck downed the rest of his water, then the pair stood to walk back to the living room.   
"Chuck."   
"Hmm?"   
"I meant what I said before. Thanks for what you're doing for my brother."   
"Well hey, I am like a second father to him."   
"Aw, why couldn't I be like a second father to him?"   
"Then who'd be his big brother?"   
"Wait, if I'm his big brother & you're his second father, would that make you my second father?"   
"No, but it would take too long to explain."   
"Right. I'll leave it to the genius to figure out."   
"Good."   
"But seriously, I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to repay you."   
"Now since when do we worry about who owes what to whom?"   
"Never."   
"So right. *thought* Hey, you really want to pay me back?"   
"Sure."   
"Be the best husband my sister could ever want."   
"I was going to do that anyway. You got it. Or I should say she's got it."   
"You would know."   
It was a maudlin moment such as is guaranteed to bring a smile to the face, a tear to the eye, or both. Of course they climaxed it with a hug, and then they rejoined the others in the living room.   
  
For the record, the team Dil & Chuck had finally settled on was the Texas Rangers. As he emerged from the kitchen in the company of his best friend, Chuck saw himself on tv, next to Dil Pickles. Also at the table were team owner Jenna Bush, team manager Mickey Kaline Jr., & general manager Bucky Majors.   
"Pop's favorite player." Stu commented.   
"Did I ever tell you about the time when I was a baby, & Bucky Majors caught me in his glove when I fell from the upper deck?" said Tom.   
"It's true! I almost had a heart attack when I saw it live on tv." Didi confirmed.   
"Y'know," Chuck whispered to the rest of the gang, "I wouldn't believe all these tales Tommy tells about the adventures he's been on if I hadn't been on so many of them with him." This drew nods all around.   
"I heard that, Chuckster."   
"Don't call me that!"   
"Sounds like someone we know." Phil hinted to Lil & Susie. Then he started with the sillyness. "Ba-, Ba-, Ba-, Ba- Barbara Ann,"   
Lil & Susie fell in, & next thing anyone knew there was a trio treatment of the Beach Boys classic in the living room.   
"Someone want to fill the rest of us in on what's going on?" Kimi asked.   
The answer came from the last person anyone would expect: Charlotte. "It's from Tiny Toon Adventures. My favorite character, Barbara Ann Bunny, prefers to be called Babs. Call her by her full name & if you're lucky she'll let you off with a 'Don't call me that!'" Everyone was stunned. "Oh, like I can't have a cartoon vice just because I'm in big business?"   
"I remember Grandpa couldn't get enough of Plucky Duck." Tom remembered.   
"You know who my favorite character was?" asked Susie.   
"Elmyra?" Phil teased.   
"Very funny. Mary Melody."   
"I liked Fifi." Lil said.   
"Me too." Phil agreed. People looked at him strangely (so what's new?). "What? She's hot! Do you have any idea of the following she has on the net?" The looks continued. "Um, would this be a good time to bring up 'Il'n'?"   
"NO!!!" came a chorus.   
"I was thinking that Susie could replace Dil, and--"   
"SHHHH!!!"   
"Oh, come on! We were sounding pretty good just now."   
"Phil," Tom advised, "quit while you're behind."   
As Phil grudgingly settled into his seat, everyone's attention was focused on the screen, where Dil Pickles 10 year $1,000,000,000 contract had just been announced. He had been praised as a superior pitcher, a phenom, & the last piece of the championship puzzle the team needed. Questions were now being taken.   
  
(A/N: There might be some confusion regarding the reporters, but the reporters don't really matter so don't bother trying to keep them straight. Just remember there's a lot of them.)   
  
*reporter: "So Dil, how are you liking Texas?"   
*Pickles: It has everything, just like California. I feel right at home here."  
*reporter: "So, Jenna, how'd you first get Pickles' attention?"   
  
"They're on a first name basis with the owner?" Didi wondered.   
"It's a Texas crowd; not formal at all." Chuck informed her.   
  
*Bush: "I took him to a night club & bought him a drink. Would you believe, this time they checked for I.D. Him too."   
*general laughter*   
*Bush: "Actually, it was a matter of getting on his agent's good side."   
*Finster: "Thanks for that."   
*Pickles: "Well, it's true. He's known me since I was born, been like a second father to me."   
*reporter: "How much of an age difference is there?"   
*Finster: "Two years, why?"   
*Majors: "I believe we can take another question here."   
*reporter: "What exactly are the terms of the contract?"   
*Finster: "Simplicity itself. Ten years, at a hundred million a year. Of course this doesn't count any money my client might make from commercial endorsements, et cetera."   
*reporter: "What if he's injured?"   
*Finster: "Naturally, the contract includes the standard injury clause. Should he be injured for 'x' number of years, he will not be paid for that amount of time. However, a proviso has been included that will allow the option of backloading time lost to injury. That means that any time lost to injury can be added to the ten years; my client's payment of course would be commensurate."   
*Kaline: "But that's basically an insurance clause which hopefully will not be needed. I don't need to tell y'all we're looking forward to a long & successful association with Dil here."   
*reporter: "There was a very attractive offer from the Grizzlies."   
*Pickles: "Grizzlies? Do I look like a basketball player?"   
  
"Actually, he was on the basketball team in high school." Tom commented to the others. "Made first team, remember?"   
"Yeah, I do." Phil rubbed one of his arms with that particular memory. "He had control issues there too."   
  
*Majors: "I take it y'all are expecting me to comment?"   
*reporter: "If it wouldn't be too much trouble."   
*Majors: "Well it's no secret that I put in a lot of years with the Grizzlies, & if I weren't employed here I would have tried to get him to sign with them, but I am & I didn't."   
*reporter: "What about that offer from the Yankees?"   
*Pickles: "*snort*, the Yankees. I'll have you know I grew up on stories about Steinbrenner, how he'd buy up all the talent in baseball & treat the world championship like it was his birthright. And the rest isn't any better; why they fly you out there & try to hand you the line that you're wearing the sacred pinstripes & playing on the same field where Ruth & Gehrig & Dimaggio & Mantle played & where Stengel & Martin managed, like they're doing you a big favor. It's a cult is what that is. Like it's God's own country & it beats creation! Why of all of the--"   
  
But he couldn't say anything as Chuck had just covered his mouth.   
"Charlie? Why do you have your hand on his mouth?" Didi asked.   
"I didn't know what he was going to say & I didn't think I should take a chance on that."   
  
*Finster: "Nevertheless, my client has enormous respect for the Yankees organization. It is and always has been a phenomenal organization, the accomplishments of which speak for themselves, & speak quite loudly."   
  
"That's what's known as covering one's rear." Chuck commented. "There's no sense in burning any bridges. Who knows? Someday the Yankees might make him an offer he won't be able to refuse."   
"Like making him the first trillion dollar man?" his sister theorized.   
"Any other team, I'd say no. But we're talking about the Yankees here; they'll do whatever it takes to get what they want."   
  
*Pickles: "Right, what my agent said. Anyway, we know that this is God's own country & beats creation."   
*Finster: "I show him my copy of Beau Geste & that's what he gets out of it."   
*general laughter*   
*reporter: "Was the Rangers moving their training camp to Arizona a factor in your decision?"   
*Pickles: "It didn't hurt. My brother told me about the time he saw the Graham Canyon..."   
  
Heads turned to his brother.   
"Graham Canyon?"   
"Well, I was a baby at the time."   
  
*Pickles: "...that's what he called it, but he was a baby at the time. But seriously, it's nothing against Florida; I have many fond memories of my time in the rookie leagues & I've made many friends along the way. But I do prefer the Cactus League to the Grapefruit League; it just happens to be closer to where I was born & raised."   
*reporter: "If that was a factor, why didn't you take an offer from some California team?"   
*Pickles: "I didn't want to play too close to home! You don't know my mother; she'd be visiting me every day."   
  
The effect of that statement on Didi Pickles was predictable. Meanwhile, Chuck had his head in his hand, not unlike his former self on the screen.   
"Mrs. P, honestly, I had no idea he was going to say anything like that. If I had..."   
"It's alright, Charlie." she assured him. Under her breath, however, was a different story. "He covers Dil's mouth about the Yankees, but let him rip his mother and..."   
  
*Pickles: "I said I was sorry, Chuck!"   
*Finster: "Just don't let something like that happen again; you know we're both going to answer to your mother and--"   
*Pickles: "Um, I think the mikes are still on."   
*Finster: "*O.O*   
  
"For obvious reasons, this was not my favorite part." Chuck commented.   
"Why not?" his fiancee teased.   
  
*Pickles: "You'll be wanting to fast-forward through this part."   
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"   
  
*Pickles: "Well, now that we have that out of the way the rest of this conference should be flawless."   
*reporter: "What do you mean by that?"   
*Pickles: "I mean that I have the best, the smartest, most vigilant agent there is."   
  
"Did you pay him to say that?"   
"No, he paid me. Ten percent, remember? With what I'd just gotten for him, can you blame him for being grateful?"   
  
*Bush: "I can vouch for that. He's shown us how to structure our salaries so we can fulfill all our current contracts & still shell out the money for his client. He can expect a little extra from us above his agent's commission."   
*Pickles: "You see, one time in college a scout told me that a brain could make me lethal. So I went out & got a brain; this is him, right here."   
*reporter: "Who was that scout?"   
*Pickles: "He's sitting right over there."   
  
And so it went.   
  
  
  
Yep, that's it, for now. I assure y'all, the next chapter will have them telling their parents. And the chapter after that will inform Angelica. Please review, y'all. Until next time, I'm Nftnat. I'm also Nftnat on IM. And my e-mail address is, surprise surprise, nftnat@aol.com Cy'all. 


	9. Oh, We've Met the Parents

It's late, so sit back & enjoy the latest chapter, in which the parents find out. I've put everything in here; I hope y'all like it. Sorry it's so late; since most of y'all are authors y'allselves, y'all know how hard it is to write dialogue & the family scenes were a bear.   
  
Yes, Junior, I have put and continue to put a lot of time into this, more time than I have really. Kimmy Larisa, Lil Kimi, you figured it out. Cree Summer was also one of the voices for Mary Melody (Cindy McGee was the other); another cameo, another paycheck. And Joe Alaskey was Plucky, & Kath Soucie was Fifi. As a member in good standing of the TTA fanfic mailing list, I can vouch for her following. Nightw2, thank you too. Starry Nights, I thought you'd like that. I have more such in mind, but I won't be gratuitous about it; no doubt there'll be HA! fans who won't like it but what can you do. *shrug* Thanks for the reviews, y'all; please continue to read & review.   
  
Rugrats is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.   
  
Time has passed; the footage of the press conference has long since ended. While the others talk as people at a party do, Didi is on the phone with her brother. A minute later, she returns to the party.   
"That was Ben. The roads are finally thawed enough for them to get out of there; of course they won't get here for a couple of days yet."   
"Whoever heard of a blizzard in April."   
"They are in the Sierra Nevadas, Stu."   
"Yeah, kind of the last blast of winter."   
"Your brother's right, Mr. P. Late freezes happen in most places. There was this newspaper columnist in Little Rock, he referred to it as the frozen jonquil & snow tire festival."   
"Oh, jonquils! Now there's a lovely flower."   
"It can't beat good ol' Kentucky bluegrass."   
"Oh, Stu, don't start that again."   
"Hey, guys. What is this? A snow job? Hearts & flowers? Weren't you guys talking about something else?"   
"Of course we were. My little brother."   
"Bet you're proud, right, little brother?"   
"Y'think?"   
"Well, why wouldn't I be? Married for 30 years to the perfect woman--"   
"Oh, Stu!"   
"--and two wonderful sons, the first one succeeding me in the business & doing better than I've ever done..."   
"Thanks, Dad."   
"...and the second's getting paid a billion dollars to play ball. My life rocks."   
"That second son also being an Olympic gold medallist, like my Kimi."   
"Our Kimi, dear. And let's not forget who got him that contract, the executive producer and super agent to the stars."   
"Hey, while we're at it, how 'bout them stars themselves?"   
"Not to forget the people behind the stars. To the newest doctor in the family."   
"And how about my Angelica. You just wait & see if she doesn't have my job in a decade or three."   
That particular knot of party talkers had grown by the minute; by now every parent in the place was singing the praises of their respective offspring. Finally Drew called for attention.   
"Yes, ladies & gentlemen, all of us have every reason to be proud. I'd defy the world to find another group of parents so blessed as we are. Allow me to sum it up. Ladies & gentlemen, our children!"   
"Our children!"   
"Hear hear!"   
"Ladies & gentlemen!" Heads turned to the other side of the room, where Drew's nephew now took his turn in the spotlight. By now the younger generation had gathered around him & stood facing their parents. "I think that in accepting this toast, we should acknowledge those who made it possible: Stu, Didi, Drew & Charlotte Pickles, Chaz & Kira Finster, Betty & Howard Deville, Randy & Lucy Carmichael. Ladies & gentlemen, our parents!"   
"Our parents!"   
"Hear hear!"   
The wine had barely left his throat --- and convincing Didi Pickles they were old enough to partake was a story in itself --- when Phil started the singalong again.   
"I want you to know I know the truth,"   
And the other young people, seeing where he was going, joined in:   
"I would be nothing without you.   
Did you ever know that you're my hero?   
You're everything I wish I could be.   
I could fly higher than an eagle,   
for you are the wind beneath my wings."   
The song finished, the young adults held their empty glasses aloft and out, a silent tribute to their parents.   
The latter had somewhat mixed reactions; clapping, smiles, tears --- silent & otherwise, eventually culminating in advancing toward their offspring. And a good time was hugged by all.   
  
That was the highlight of the evening, or at the least the highlight of the portion of the evening at the Pickles available to a general audience. At the door, good-nights were being said.   
"Now, don't stay up too late, little brother."   
"You're one to talk. At least I'm still in my '50's."   
"For the moment."   
  
"Another wonderful party, Didi."   
"Thanks, Charlotte."   
  
"Um, Drew?"   
"Yes, Stu?"   
"Is it just my imagination or has Charlotte gone the whole evening without taking one business call?"   
"She has. Even without Angelica here, this was a big occasion for her, somewhere between Ben & Elaine's wedding and Pop's funeral. She left orders not to be disturbed for six hours, which should be up right about--"   
*RRRRIIIINNNNNGGG!!!!*   
"--now."   
"Yes, Jonathan? Well, so what if things piled up? If you can't handle a little crisis or two by now..."   
"Gotta run, bro."   
"You take care of yourself going home."   
"You too."   
"Um, Drew?"   
"Yes, Stu?"   
"This is my home."   
"Oh yeah."   
They both had a good laugh over that.   
"Nothing like the old stuff, eh, bro?"   
"Yeah, nothing like classic Blocky & Oxwinkle."   
"Can't improve on that. Well, like I said, better be going."   
"You take care of yourself--"   
"Let's not go through that again." More laughter. "Good night, bro."   
  
"It was wonderful having you over, Edwin."   
"I also immensely enjoyed the experience, Mrs. Pickles. The evening has been an amusing and stimulating diversion."   
"You know you're welcome around here anytime."   
"I just might take you up on that, Mrs. Pickles. I would relish an extended foray of recreation, but that must be for the future. What awaits me for the present is an extended noctambulation to the educational institution that is my place of employment."   
"Pasadena's not that far from here; don't be a stranger, Edwin."   
"Yes ma'am. Good night, Mrs. Pickles."   
"Good night. ... Oh, Stu."   
"Didi. How much of what he said did you understand?"   
"Stu, I am a teacher, remember?"   
"Oh yeah. By the way, why do we host all the neighborhood parties?"   
"We don't. Betty & Howard hosted our anniversary, remember?"   
"Oh yeah. Is it just me or are we talking in circles?"   
"Now that you mention it..."   
  
"...and so, even though I was on the fence originally, it turned out that I had a wonderful time getting to know my new sister-in-law."   
"The age gap doesn't bother you anymore."   
"Or the fact that she & I are in the same business, kind of?"   
"It doesn't, neither of them. She asked you for an autograph, Dad, how bad can she be?"   
"She got you there, Randy."   
"Besides, you got used to Tom's dad."   
"True. Alright, Susie, we'll give her a chance."   
  
"Could I have everyone's attention?"   
That was Tom Pickles, in his old role of group leader.   
"Now that everyone else has left & it's just the six of us & our parents, we'd like to get started with the main attraction of the evening's entertainment. If you would please be seated,"   
With that, the parents' children maneuvered them into position. A second couch had been brought in for the occasion, & the two couches were now side by side in front of the tv. Due to directions from their offspring, the four couples found themselves in the couches. From left to right, it was the Carmichaels & the Devilles in one couch, the Finsters & the Pickles in the other. Their children sat on the floor in front of them except when needed at the tv.   
Such a need now existed, as Tom was standing beside the tv. As soon as everyone else was comfortable, he began.   
"Ladies & gentlemen, moms & dads, we now come to our feature presentation. Those who have left didn't even know about this activity because we wanted for the eight of you to be the first to see this. Phil, Lil, it's your show; if you would?"   
He then sat on the floor in front of his parents, his place soon supplanted by the twins, after a stop on either side of young Finster, which left him short two hairs & in a small amount of pain. Lil led off.   
"Ladies & gentlemen,"   
"moms & dads,"   
"we proudly present,"   
"for the first time anywhere,"   
"the season finale,"   
"of DareDevilles."   
"Presented almost live & with no commecial interruptions."   
"And since it's commercial-free, Tommy, would you like to bring us a word from our sponsor?"   
Grinning ear to ear, Tom was on his feet again before the Devilles had moved. "I really don't think that's necessary, Phil. Why by now everyone is well acquainted with Pickles Toys & knows just what..."   
As he went into his spiel, to the amusement of & not a little laughter from the others, Lil drew Phil to the side.   
"Very crafty, Phillip!"   
"Thanks, Lillian. But what are you talking about?"   
"This is connected with your letting him borrow some of your CDs of old radio programs, isn't it?"   
"It was just a few episodes of Fibber McGee & Molly. That Harlow Wilcox was a genius at slipping a commercial into any & every situation, & he was mighty stubborn about it too."   
"Clever."   
"Thank you very much."   
"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog."   
"Better not let Mrs. P. hear you."   
"Remind me to kill you later."   
"I think I hear him finishing. You're up."   
"Asia."   
"Yes."   
"No."   
"Was."   
"Not was. Now if we're finished with that..."   
Phil would have responded, but he would have been tlaking to his sister's back; so he followed her instead as they took their places again on either side of the tv, in the space now vacated for the second time by the junior toymaker.   
"Thank you, Tommy. Someone remind me to kill Phillip for that later."   
"Not going to happen, Lillian!"   
"Would you please speak in complete sentences? We have a teacher in the audience." That brought chuckles, as well as a couple pats on the back for a beaming Didi Pickles.   
Phil continued the introductory remarks. "Now folks, you're going to see some dangerous situations; such as are the norm on DareDevilles, and then some."   
"Just remember, we survived all of the dangers and then some; otherwise we wouldn't be here."   
"And now, with no further delay, for the first time anywhere, the season finale of DareDevilles."   
  
It was an above average episode of the show. Considering that it was the season finale, it had better be. The audience of eight 'ooh'ed & 'aah'ed, thrilled & feared, as the twins & their friend Tom & Kimi braved the dangers of the Andes mountain range, climbing the Bolivian mountains of Cerro Nuevo Mundo, and V. Ollague & Tocorpuri, both on the Bolivian-Chilean border. More than one parent grabbed onto their offspring in fright as the hazards they underwent played out on the screen.   
In due course of time the show came to an end, a little early.   
"Hey, isn't it ending a bit soon?" asked Stu.   
"He's right. I know tv & I can tell you you guys are going short here." Randy confirmed.   
"But I don't play football anymore, Mr. C." Tom wisecracked.   
"Thanks for that, Tommy. Dad, it's the season finale; something special's planned." Susie said. With that information, the group sat in anticipation; eight of how it would end, six of how the eight would react.   
  
Lil: "And so we come to the end of another episode of DareDevilles."   
Phil: "It's also the end of this season. But we will be back next season."   
Lil: "And starting next season you'll be able to tune us in no matter where you go in the world."   
Phil: "But that's not the only change ahead for us."   
Lil: "In line with this being the season finale, some even more important changes are on the horizon."   
Phil: "The best part is that these changes were kind of unexpected."   
Lil: "That's right. We didn't know they were going to happen; they just did, last week."   
Phil: "But despite them being unexpected, we wouldn't wish any one of them away."   
Lil: "So right you are. Because these changes will not only affect this show, they'll change our lives forever."   
  
By now the attention of the elders was riveted to the set.   
"That's quite a buildup." Stu commented.   
Betty wasn't quite so patient. "Yeah, enough of this; are you pups gonna drop the big news any time soon?"   
  
An appropriate response came from the two day old versions of her children.   
Phil: "We heard that, Mom."   
Lil: "And we're getting to it." That silenced her, a rare occasion.   
Phil: "But this news is so big we're going to need help in announcing it."   
Lil: "To help us, let's bring out our guests again."   
Phil: "Ladies & gentlemen, Tom Pickles of Pickles Toys,"   
Lil: "And 'Kamikaze' Kimi Watanabe-Finster."   
Phil: "Sorry, Mrs. F; she made us say it."   
  
That last sentence was said for a good reason. Kira had never liked her daughter's choice of a nickname; she now renewed her criticism in whispers.   
"Kimi-chan, when will you stop this trivializing of your heritage?"   
"Mama-san, you know the love & respect I have for my heritage. I just like that nickname; I think it's cool."   
"Hmph." They just disagreed.   
  
Tom & Kimi now joined their friends on tape.   
Lil: "Guys, unless we're mistaken we have three announcements to make."   
Phil: "And the two of you are to make one of them."   
Tom: "That's right, Phil & Lil. Last week, when we were exploring in the mountains, I asked Kimi to marry me."   
Kimi: "And I accepted. We are now destined to be sweeties for life."   
  
"WHAT?"   
"Oh, my goodness!"   
Didi fainted.   
"Whoa, now that's an announcement!"   
  
Lil: "That's wonderful, you two."   
Phil: "It goes without saying that we know & hope you two will be very happy together."   
Lil: "As earth-shattering as that is, there's something else we need to say, if you don't mind."   
Kimi: "No, not at all."   
Tom: "Go ahead."   
Phil: "If you will, sis."   
Lil (calling off to the side): "Chuck? Would you please come here?"   
Seconds later, they were joined by Kimi's big brother.   
Lil: "Ladies & gentlemen, I'd like you to meet our agent & producer, C.C. 'Chuck' Finster III, super agent to the stars including us. He's also Kimi's brother. Chuckie, would you tell the people watching us at home what was going on while Tom & Kimi were in the mountains last week?"   
Chuck: "Sure, Lil. At the same time, I was asking you to be my wife."   
Lil: "And did I say I would?"   
Chuck: "Yes you did."   
  
"GREAT EVONNE GOOLAGONG!!!"   
Howard joined Didi in Lala-land; Chaz & Kira were speechless. More than one elder had hand over mouth, eyes wide open. As the final scene was initiated on tv, all of those who were still conscious were on the edges of their seats, especially Randy & Lucy Carmichael. They'd been putting the pieces together --- three big announcements, two engagements involving four of the six youngsters in the room, one announcement to go, two including their own still unattached for the moment --- and knew what was coming.   
  
The two couples were hugging --- Tom & Chuck, Kimi & Lil. And Phil was hugging both couples. Then they moved to the side, leaving Phil alone, for the moment.   
Lil: "Now Phillip, I think you have an announcement too?"   
Phil: "That would make it three, Lillian. (calls to the other side) Doc? Would you please come out here?"   
Susie did.   
Phil: "Ladies & gentlemen, I'd like for you to meet our medical consultant, Dr. Susie Carmichael. Basically, she puts us back together after these accidents we get into. And we've gotten into so many that last week she was able to finish her residency early so she's now a full-fledged doctor ready for private practice; we had to give her a raise to keep her. Not that we mind; she's been looking out for us since we were babies. But that's not all she is; last week, at the same time that Tom & Kimi and Chuck & my sister were getting together, I proposed to her."   
Susie: "A proposal I accepted."   
  
By now everything was at sixes & sevens on both couches. Looks passed between the occupants, all conversation was hushed & in disbelief.   
  
Lil: "What we're trying to say is, Chuckie, how would you put it?"   
Chuckie: "We're ALL getting married!"   
Phil: "That's right, future brother-in-law. By the time we return to the air in fall, the six of us --- who have been best friends with each other all of our lives, or pretty nearly that at least --- will have formed three happily married couples."   
Lil: "Hopefully, we'll all still be on our honeymoons by then."   
*smiles & laughter*   
Phil: "So join us then, as we embark on the greatest adventure of them all: married life."   
Lil: "See you next time, on..."   
all: "DareDevilles!"   
  
By then, Didi & Howard had revived. As the tape went blank, played on to the end, and automatically rewound; silence held sway in the Pickles living room. Someone had to break the silence; as head of the host household, Stu took it upon himself to do so.   
"Wow. Well, I'd say it's a pretty safe guess that all of us need to have a little family talk about now. Let's see. Tommy, if you'd come upstairs with your mother & me. Chaz, Kira, you can talk in the kitchen. The rest of you pick a side of this room; I think it's big enough for two family talks."   
As the respective families moved toward their corners, so to speak, Tom piped up.   
"Um, before we disperse, you parents might want to consider that whatever you might say about the intended of your child, their parents are still in the house, probably saying something similar to their child about, us. Just, um, keep that in mind."   
"Nice going, Tom." Chuck commented, trailing behind his parents. As they left the living room he was muttering, "We're doomed, we're doomed."   
  
"Oh, Tommy, don't you think you're a bit young to be getting married?"   
"Mom, I'm 26 years old! There's people my age who're halfway through with raising their own kids!"   
"But still..."   
"For crying out loud, we're out of high school, out of college, we have our own careers going, Mom, we're not babies anymore."   
  
"He is wonderful, don't you agree?"   
"Well..."   
"And he thinks the world of the two of you."   
"And we think the world of him."   
"So you approve."   
"Well..."   
"Big brother? A little help here?"   
"I've brought proof of how we're doing; we can well afford to do this; financially, emotionally--"   
"We're all very mature now, even me."   
"I wouldn't go that far."   
"What's that?"   
"Nothing. It's like my sister says..."   
  
"Chuck & I are agreed; we can handle this."   
"Are you going to keep your name when you get married?"   
"I don't know; you didn't."   
"She's got you there, Mom."   
"Dad? Are you going to say anything?"   
"Um..."   
"Not now, Howard. Now let's get to your fiancee, Phil."   
"What about her?"   
  
"Darling, we wouldn't be your parents who care about you if we didn't mention this."   
"And I appreciate that, Mom. What are you two talking about?"   
"Have you considered what you might be letting yourself in for by marrying a--"   
"A celebrity?"   
"Well..."   
"Right, a celebrity. Thanks for letting us off the hook."   
"You're welcome. But I know what you're talking about. We've gone over this ourselves, a lot."   
  
"We've no illusions about what might happen, but we've decided to face whatever comes together. And we'll be better able to handle it for being together; that makes sense, doesn't it?"   
"Well, yes it does, I think..."   
"I think they look adorable together."   
"Look who's talking, miss kawai. That's what his mother calls her."   
  
"Yes, Lil is very kawai. But you realize there's more to such a relationship as you are contemplating than looks."   
"I know. I also know how high she is in your regard."   
"You can't deny that you think the world of her, Mom. And it's mutual, and I know whereof I speak; she is my best friend after all. I've heard her go on about you two so many times..."   
"We do think the world of her..."   
"She reminds me a lot of you in a lot of ways."   
"That's very flattering."   
"Have I mentioned that Tom thinks the world of you, too?"   
  
"Might part of the reason be that she just happens to be your best friend's sister?"   
"If that were even in the equation, we wouldn't be best friends for long. I realize what any sort of falling out could do to the whole group; it's almost happened a couple of times at least. I won't do anything to jeopardize that, I won't do anything to jeopardize   
my love for her, and neither one is a threat to the other."   
"She really means that much to you."   
"Yes. I'm even willing to put up with the in-laws, and so is she, no offense."   
"None taken."   
"Her parents are such dears."   
  
"I agree; he's told me he prefers you as a mother-in-law to the one I'm getting, Mom. Of course, I like the mother-in-law I'm getting."   
"You know you like both of them, both of you. And Grandma & Grandpa liked Tom too."   
"Well, of course my parents loved it when he was over & they were over & they took to him almost as much as they did to your brother, but that was before your time."   
"I don't mean them; I mean my other grandparents."   
"My mom & dad?"   
"Yes; they told me to hold on to him & not let him get away."   
"Wow! That's more than I got from them."   
"Oh, koidi-do..."   
"So if you're good enough, Dad, so is he. And you are definitely good enough."   
"Thanks. Now, about Lil."   
"What about her? Won't she make the perfect daughter-in-law? Could you possibly ask for anything more?"   
"No, but--"   
"There is the fact that you're her agent, Charlie."   
"What does that have to do with anything?"   
  
"So you have no problem marrying your agent."   
"Why should I? There's no one I'd trust more, with my career or with my life."   
"And there's no one I'd trust more either. Susie's been looking out for all of us all our lives, & now she wants to concentrate on me; do you realize how lucky I am that she loves me?"   
  
"It's like he said on tv, I've been saving their butts since those butts were in diapers."   
"You did use to babysit them."   
"They're not babies anymore, especially him."   
"So the age difference doesn't bother you."   
"Buster & Timberly have an age difference, eleven years, & I got used to that. You call two years an age difference? That's nothing! If you're looking for reasons for me not to marry him you'll have to try harder."   
"No no, it's not that. It's just that..."   
"Look, he's been there for me through some rough times in my life. I know I can trust him, with my heart, with my life."   
  
"She's the best thing to ever happen to me. I was adrift before it occurred to me to think of her in that way, before she thought of me in that way. And without her I'd still be lost."   
"I've heard him talk like this before, and I can tell you that he believes every word of it. He needs her, just like I need Chuck."   
  
"I couldn't imagine life without Lil. We were there for each other at the lowest point in our lives; she needs me & I need her."   
"And I need Tom."   
  
"She's the only one who really understands me. She understands me better than even Dil does, better than Grandpa or Spike did & you know that for me that's saying a lot."   
"*sigh* Oh, Tommy..."   
"What? Haven't you run out of objections yet? Or is it that you have run out & you know there's nothing more you can say & you're just hoping I'll back down if you look & sound sufficiently upset? For no good reason, I might add."   
"Tom, that's enough; there's no call for you to talk to your mother like that."   
"And there's no cause for her to still be treating me like a child. Mom, I heard what you said before, how we'll always be babies to you; well that might be how you see us, but that's not reality. We are not babies; I am not a baby. And neither is Dil. It's time to let go."   
"I don't know if I can."   
"We'd rather do this with you than without you, and you know we can & will do this either way. I just want to know that you two approve, not because it's required, but because you're my parents & I want you to be there."   
  
"You're well aware that we could do this ourselves, but we don't want to."   
"Charlie, I've never seen you so forceful, guy."   
"You've never seen him in action at work. He didn't come to be the super agent to the stars by playing softball; at work, he's a tiger. Also, when something means enough to him, like now."   
"You know that we need nothing from you. We could go off somewhere, find a preacher or J.P. or notary or whatever, & get married. But we want your blessing. You know that we're mature enough & financially stable enough to enter into this, & we wouldn't be your children if we desired this with someone we didn't love with all our hearts."   
"And in my case, you know that if there was any reason at all to doubt that Tom was perfect for me, big brother here would be the first to spot it & to do something about it."   
"She's right; I would."   
  
"You could search the whole world & not find two better matches for us than the two we have chosen. You do like Susie & Chuck, we know that. All we want is that you would accept them as your son- & daughter-in-law."   
"Please, Mom & Dad?"   
  
"Don't make us go this alone, without you. I want you in the bride room with me & in that second pew on the left, Mommy. Daddy, I want you to give me away as is only right for the father of the bride to do."   
"There there, darling. Of course we'll be there."   
"If this is your choice, then we're behind you all the way."   
  
"You pups sound serious enough about this that we'll back you, right Howard?"   
"Yes, dear."   
  
"We only want what's best for you, we always have; and if you truly believe in your hearts of hearts that the best is Tom & Lil, we would be wrong to resist it."   
"Of course we support your decision."   
  
"How about it, Deed? Are we behind this?"   
"*sob* *nod* *sniffle*"   
"I think that's a yes."   
"It's agreed, then. So as soon as I can pry her off of you we'll go down & talk with the others; I think they'll be winding up about now."   
  
And so it was that everyone returned to the middle of the living room to share their decisions with the others. That all four families finished as exactly the same time could be taken as another sign for those who believe in such things.   
The seniors came to a stop, but their young didn't. Each approached, then passed, their intended. When they stopped, each was facing their their intended parents-in-law.   
  
Kimi: "Mr. & Mrs. Pickles, I love your son."   
Tom: "And I love your daughter, Mr. & Mrs. Finster."   
Lil: "We want to get married so much."   
Chuck: "And we want your blessings."   
Susie: "We want you to be there for us, all of you."   
Phil: "What do you say, sirs, ma'ams, all of you?"   
  
Once again, silence held sway. Looks passed between all eight parents, as though they were communicating telepathically.   
Randy was the first to break the silence. "I'd say we're all of the same mind. While we're concerned, it's only because we want the best for our children, who are not children anymore & haven't been for years. They've made their decisions, and we also want to stay on their good sides."   
"All of us have been best friends all these years." Betty seconded. "I guess we'd better get used to being in-laws."   
The next few minutes were lost in a flurry of hugging; parents hugging offspring, parents hugging each other, future in-laws hugging, Pickles, Finster, Deville, Carmichael, all. Everyone hugged everyone, with a good deal of weeping in the bargain.   
  
When the hugfest finally slowed somewhat, there was still a bit of a mystery, to which Howard gave voice.   
"There's just one thing I don't get here."   
"Well, for you that's doing pretty good, Howie."   
"I'm serious."   
"What is it, Dad?" asked Phil.   
"You say we're the first to know of these engagements."   
"Yes." Lil confirmed.   
"So while the six of you were in the shot, who was holding the camera?"   
As Tom broke away to move toward the front door, his peers smiled, especially the twins.   
"He figured it out." Lil said to her brother.   
Who responded, "He's smarter than we gave him credit for."   
"Yeah, I'm smarter than-- Hey!"   
Phil ignored that last word. "Alright. We did tell one other person, but only because we needed help to finish this episode."   
Lil continued. "And that person is..." At this point, Tom opened the door to reveal...   
"UNCLE FREDDY'S HERE!!!"   
As the blond beardshell that was Betty's brother bounded into the house like the not-so-young noise he was.   
"FREDDY!"   
"Where are those pups? Lemme at'em!"   
Phil & Lil squealed in delight as their uncle marched straight to & lifted both of them in a crushing hug as was his wont, to which they responded in kind. Their mother wasn't far behind.   
"Ah, look at these pups. And now they're gonna start their own litters; who's the proudest uncle in the world?"   
"Drew Pickles, as soon as he finds out." whispered Tom to Chuck.   
Who whispered back: "Nah, he just has one relative getting hitched."   
"True, but he's already married off his daughter."   
"Doesn't count."   
  
Five minutes later, the newcomer had been settled in the group's midst.   
"So that's why we couldn't get in touch with you, you were already on the way!"   
"That's right, Betts. Out of nowhere, I get a call from the executive producer of my favorite show, asking if I'd be interested in a short-term gig as a cameraman. Well, I told him I didn't have any experience, but he talked me into it & I'm glad he did. We had to do that two or three times I was shaking so hard at first, especially when they dropped the bombshell the first time. I could barely keep my hands steady."   
"He insisted on us having a party to celebrate; I had to miss out on most of it." informed Chuck.   
"But I made sure to get in his share of the partying. Boy, I'll tell you I couldn't be happier about all this, right, older sister?"   
Betty's expression changed somewhat; this was familiar territory to her. "That's right, Freddy bear. Only I'm not your older sister; you're my big brother."   
"Here we go again." Howard declared.   
"No, you're the older sister."   
"No, you're the big brother."   
"You're older."   
"No, you are."   
"You are."  
"You are."   
"You are!"   
"You are!"   
"You are!"   
"YOU ARE, FREDERICK!"   
"YOU ARE, ELIZABETH!"   
"Whoa! So that's where we get it from!" Phil interrupted.   
Lil also cut in. "Wait, does that mean you two are twins?"   
"With names like Betty & Freddy what did you expect? I'm surprised you pups didn't figure it out by now." said Betty.   
Which her brother confirmed. "And we never have figured out who came first. Each of us is convinced the other is older. Of course, I'm right."   
"In your dreams, Freddy bear."   
"We can relate, kind of." Didi said. "Tom & Kimi happened to be born on the same day."   
"And Didi & I have been trying to figure out which was born first ever since their second birthday." Kira continued.   
"Oh, so that would make them twins?"   
"Virtual twins!" came from both of the current subjects of conversation.   
"There's absolutely no relationship between us." Tom assured Freddy.   
"Not yet." Kimi finished.   
"If I might ask," Kira interrupted, "I am happy to see you, Mr.--"   
"Call me Freddy; everyone does."   
"Alright. We are happy to see you, but why were you the one they told?"   
"Doc, do you want to tell them?" Phil asked.   
Heads turned in Susie's direction. "Alright. Actually, we got the idea from Aunt T."   
"Aunt T?" her mother asked in puzzlement.   
"Yes. Her Bible wasn't all she left me; there were a number of books, including one on African wedding traditions."   
"You see," said Tom, "since all of us were getting married together we wanted all of our heritages to be represented: Jewish, Japanese, African, et cetera."   
"We're the et cetera." chorused the Devilles.   
"There's an Ashanti tradition that the groom's mother & her brother would go to the bride's family to propose." said Susie.   
"Well, as a groom's mother I'm glad you finally told me about this." said Betty.   
"So we put our own twist on things." Phil defended.   
"We're going to bring in stuff from everywhere, but we're going to adapt them for us." Kimi explained.   
"We're looking at the chupoe, saki, jumping the broom, you name it, it's under consideration." Chuck said.   
"You know, it could just as easily have been Ben as Freddy." Didi realized.   
"It could have been, if he hadn't been snowbound." came from her son.   
That got Freddy's attention. "Wait, your brother's name is Ben?"   
Didi nodded.   
"That's my son's name." With that, his wallet came out. "There he is, with his sister Jeri. And that's their mother, my wife Maple. And here's a family picture."   
"It looks like a beautiful family." Didi opined.   
"I'd put them up against any family here, no offense anyone."   
"None taken." several voices chorused.   
"They'll be here in a few days, incidentally."   
"Where have you been staying, Fred?"   
"Fort DareDeville, gettin' to know the pups."   
"Well, you just come home with us. The pups won't mind."   
  
The party continued in this vein into the wee smalls. When the last of the guests had finally departed it was 2:00 in the morning, and Stu & Didi managed to grope their way to bed. Before she laid down, Didi picked up the phone.   
"Long distance? I'll need to be put in touch with the international operator. -- Yes. -- Paris, France, please. -- Thank you.-- "   
  
  
  
Well (am I using that word too much?), we're almost there; next chapter, Angelica finds out. Please continue to review. I'm Nftnat, on e-mail I'm nftnat@aol.com & on IM I'm Nftnat . That's it; cy'all. 


	10. Enter Angelica

And so again I come in late with the next chapter. And what a chapter! The chapter that finally brings Angelica C. Pickles-McNulty into the story. This one's short but in my opinion sweet. My friend from the EH board in his review wanted it to be Chuckie-Angelica; well, that's not going to happen but that & other alternate relationships will be explored, starting here.   
  
As to the reviews, thank you Nightw2, and to Kimmy Larisa, and to CrazyGoingSlowlyAmI --- formerly known as Ally (well, if that's how you want it) --- and to Junior and to Starry Nights (I hope I've kept up to your expectations), and... what's this? My first negative review? Well, it's about time. Thanks for your advice, elmozwurld. Are you referring to Chapter 9 or to the one on which you reviewed, Chapter 1. I've re-read that chappie & find some validity in what you said, which I will take into consideration. Methinks the paragraphs in Chapter 1 could stand a bit of fixing. And I'm an optimist myself, so sometimes I need a dose of pessimism or at least realism. Thank you. And thank you too, lil kimi. Your estimations as to the causes for the 'rents' reactions are right on the money, particularly Didi who's always struck me as one for the apron strings. But the parents love their prospective in-laws; it's just the idea of their children getting married at all. Anyway, thanks to all the reviewers; please continue to read & review.   
  
Rugrats is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom. Glad is copyrighted by the Glad Products Company.   
  
At the same time, or nine hours later depending on how wish to think about it, a phone is about to ring. The scene is Paris, France. The time, 11:00 a.m. Another good day to find companies ripe for a takeover. And a certain former model turned junior executive is doing just that.   
It's been a typical junket so far, expanding & consolidating European holdings of MergeCorp. For the past few days, Angelica C. Pickles-McNulty has been successfully scarfing up small companies. Right now she's taking an early lunch; she and her husband Timmy are at one of those outdoor Paris restaurants you might have heard about. They haven't ordered yet; both are too busy on their sundry electronic devices, in particular Angelica's phone:   
"...and, one minute, Geoffrey; I have another call. Hello? Aunt Didi?"   
Tim's head shot up. "Your aunt's calling from California?"   
"Just a moment." Angelica said to her aunt, then, "I would think so, Tim; I haven't heard of them going on another big trip."   
"Babe, it's 2 in the morning there!"   
"I know; now if you'll let me find out..."   
"Sorry, babe. Go on."   
"Thank you." Then it was back to the phone. "Are you still there, Aunt Didi? -- Good. -- Yes, that was Timmy. -- Timmy, Aunt Didi says hello."   
"Hello, Aunt Didi."   
"He says hello, too. So what are you doing up at this time of the night? And on a school night, too! -- A holiday? Since when? -- Since now? -- Well, when did this happen, was a local ordinance passed or something? -- Or something. -- Aunt Didi, I didn't think I'd hear myself saying this about you, but you're not making sense! -- Okkay, from the top, what's going on? -- Am I sitting down? -- Aunt Didi, this is Angelica C. Pickles-McNulty you're talking to here; nothing you could say could possibly shock me that much. -- Well, let me ask you this. Is anyone dead or dying? -- Well, there you go. Next to that, nothing would be shocking. Now spill it. -- He what? -- Really? He did? -- Oh, you & Uncle Stu must be so happy for him. Poor Kimi, tho. -- I'm kidding; you know I love my cousins."   
Her husband made a pretty good guess at the news, and smiled.   
"So how's her brother taking it? -- Oh? What do you... -- WHAT!?? -- He didn't!"   
Angelica would have had to have sat down at what she heard if she hadn't been already. Tim noticed she was looking a bit faint; he was on alert straightway. The conversation continued, Angelica looking a bit dazed.   
"Oh, wow. Who'd have thought the Chuckster would have it in him? -- Huh. So how's HER brother taking it? -- Oh. My. Goodness!"   
She shot bolt upright at what she was hearing now, not out of her seat, but close. Tim maintained his concerned vigil.   
"No, I haven't heard anything about this! And she's supposed to be my best friend, too. -- I'm almost afraid to ask how her brother is taking this, but they're both married, one to his work. -- Well, have you started planning the weddings yet? -- Well, don't, not until I get there."   
Tim's eyebrows raised at that, apparently he took it as his cue to get busy on his computer, not to mention his phone, his PDA, & whatever else came to hand.   
"Now you stop that; of course I'm coming over there. -- No, I won't take 'no' for an answer. I'll be there tonight, & I'm handling the weddings. You can tell the Finsters, Devilles & Carmichaels I said so. And tell my parents too. -- The McNultys? They can wait."   
"HEY!"   
"See you in a few hours, Aunt Didi. Toodles." "TIMMY!" But he was more than ready for her.   
"I hope you don't mind, babe, I took the liberty of cancelling your appointments for the next week, with an option on your meetings for the next several weeks. We're checked out of the hotel & our luggage is en route to Orly as we speak. Here's your ticket & this is mine for the Concorde --- first class of course --- non-stop to Los Angeles. Our rental is waiting for us at LAX & my family now knows we're coming too. Now, if you'll come with me our cab is waiting."   
He had been busy; printers, faxes, the internet, the whole bit. Which left his wife not a little stunned. Which is probably a good thing, as it also rendered her mute until they were halfway to the airport. When she finally did find her voice again...   
"You're amazing, McNulty."   
"You're pretty amazing yourself, Pickles-McNulty."   
"Why can't my secretary be as efficient as you?"   
"He might be if you let him sleep with you. On second thought, no he wouldn't, because I'd kill him."   
"Careful. You never know where those paparazzi are. I can see the headline. 'Young Heir Threatens Wife's Secretary Over Suspected Tryst'."   
"Now see, that's why it's so good you're such a good businesswoman; you stink at writing headlines."   
"Oh, I suppose you could do better?"   
"I could, but we don't have that much time."   
"Could we stop off for a bite?"   
"Even if we could, you know your bod can't afford those French pastries I noticed you looking at."   
"Oh, you're no fun."   
"You're already sweet enough; I don't think I could handle it if you were any sweeter. Once we're on the plane, you can have all the airline food you can eat."   
"Oh, thanks a lot."   
  
No more was said until they were on the plane. Then, Tim broke the silence.   
"So are you going to tell me what that was about?"   
"Like you can't guess."   
"I could."   
"You always have been a good guesser, especially of me. Sometimes I get the feeling you know me better than I know myself."   
"I thought it was against the law for a husband to be that psychically in tune with his wife."   
"It's unheard of is what it is. But I won't tell; it's too much fun."   
"Mm."   
"So are you going to guess already?"   
"They've finally gotten engaged, Tom & Kimi, Chuck & Lil, Phil & Suze."   
"Right on the money."   
"It wasn't hard to figure out; I heard your end of the conversation."   
"Yeah." Angelica then lapsed into uncharacteristic silence.   
"Babe?"   
"Hmm?"   
"Are you alright with this? You know, I mean, your feelings for him--"   
"--are resolved, long ago. You know that."   
"Does he know?"   
"I haven't told him, I haven't been able to. He's kind of standoffish when I'm there, and for good reason. What I did to him..." By now Angelica was starting to cry, a little.   
Tim came to the rescue, not for the first time & not for the last. "Hey, it's alright."   
"It is not."   
"It will be. It's just a matter of time until you tell him."   
silence   
"He has to know; you know that."   
silence "I know." She then tried to change the subject. "What about her? She & you used to be kind of thick--"   
"Ancient history & you know it. I made my choice long ago & I chose you."   
"So you did."   
"She'll be alright; she has a good head on her shoulders."   
"So does he; he's a d*mn genius."   
"But he doesn't know how things stand; she does."   
"You sure?"   
"If she didn't know before our wedding, she sure did after. I told her myself."   
"You did?"   
"She was maid of honor; I figured it was due that she know."   
"Could you talk to him for me?"   
"Sorry, Babe. I can't do everything for you."   
"Could've fooled me."   
The young couple lapsed back into silence, which lasted until Tim started to stand.   
"Timmy?"   
"I need to go to the john."   
"The jane, you mean."   
"I'd better not go to see another woman."   
"Oh, and having you go see another man is any better?"   
"Behave, babe. Would you let me pass?"   
"Like gas."   
"Didn't I say to behave?"   
"Alright." She started to pout. "Come back quick."   
He passed her toward the back of the plane. After a minute, Angelica's face acquired a mischievous look, that grin by which it would be obvious to a dullard that she had something in mind. She stood, and without another second of delay followed her husband.   
It was easy enough to find the restrooms, easier still to find the one where he was as it was the one that was occupied. So she planted herself in front of it & waited.   
Someone else passed her en route to another of the restrooms. Said someone gave her a funny look, which she noticed.   
"What's the matter, you've never seen anyone waiting to use the restroom before?"   
The someone slipped into the other restroom without another word, look, or apparently thought. Soon after, Angelica heard a flush on the other side of the door before which she was encamped. It had only taken a couple of minutes; it's a guy thing.   
By the time she heard the click of the lock, she was poised to spring, which she did as soon as she saw her husband. He didn't get a chance to set foot or any other part of himself in the corridor before she'd pushed him back, locking the door behind them.   
A passerby might've heard an interesting conversation behind the door:   
"Babe?"   
"Shh."   
"I didn't know you were in such a hurry to go."   
"I am, but it's not what you might think."   
Then nothing but certain soft noises.   
"Aw, babe, the Mile High Club again?"   
"I don't know how often we're supposed to renew our membership; why take chances?"   
"Get Glad."   
"I'm about to get glad; now shut up and let me..."   
And the plane kept flying, as did certain other things.   
  
  
  
Folks, we'd better leave what else goes on there to discretion. We'll switch back to the kids for the time being, but the McNultys are about to join them, and then look out! Continue to review, y'all. And a question for anyone who's seen the Rugrats In Paris movie: was anything at all said about Kimi's real father? Something tells me I'd better familiarize myself with Fathers of the Bride. More later. Cy'all. 


	11. Rugrats, Assemble!

Hello again. Sorry this chapter took so long. Things happen in your life, your brother visits for a week, the family gets a puppy, suddenly your time is not your own. Enough of that; time for the next chapter. Here it is. Oh, and to forestall questions about Angelica & Timmy? They're on their way. Literally.   
  
Thank you, Junior.   
Lil Kimi, thanks. Yeah, that chapter was short, & this one's not much longer. Some are long, some are short, that's the way it goes. This is an interesting interpersonal dynamic that you mention, & I have Pokejedservo to thank for pointing it out to me. You're right; if you know what to look for it's kind of obvious. I'm thinking of another blonde girl from another Nicktoon; Starry Nights will know what I mean. I haven't had any complaints yet, but it's early yet. Thank you for trusting my judgment; I hope to earn it. And thanks for filling me in on Kimi's father; I was going to put the info to use here & I guess I did.   
Kimmy Larisa, thank you. Dil? He'll find out, if he hasn't already; you'll see; when he enters the picture... well, I'd better not spoil it. Let's just say that he's on his way too. Also literally. And I appreciate your help with the first parents, although they are mentioned here; I love fan fiction.   
Nightw2, thanks.   
And thank you too, Al-, wait, it's CrazyGo-, no, now it's Laura U. Sleekabida. Ladies & gentlemen, the winner of the Scott Levy award! A certain Histeria author --- and I don't mean Pokejedservo --- knows what I mean.   
Speaking of, thanks for reviewing again, PJS; I assure you that soon I will review the H! fics on ff.n . And I will develop this, you'll see.   
And thank you Starry Nights. You're right; unresolved issues. And adding this twist would really make things interesting in One Big Adventure (looking forward to Ch. 24). And things are already twisted enough there. You don't think they make a cute couple? Well, the guy who reviewed just ahead of you does. Me, I'm kind of on the fence, but I'm stirring some of that in here anyway; oh well. As to whether I'm going to throw a curve or two, I dunno. I have to fill in the details of what's going on with the gang while the McNultys are winging their way homeward, is that the same thing? I didn't think so.   
  
Rugrats is created, copyrighted, & / or owned by Klasky-Csupo & / or Nickelodeon. DareDevilles is copyrighted to me. The Cadillac Deville is copyrighted to the Cadillac division of General Motors. Kate & Leopold is copyrighted Miramax. Hugh Jackman, Mills Lane, & Torquemada are copyrighted to themselves.   
  
It was a typical picture perfect spring day. The younger Devilles were next door, that is to say, they were at the Pickles house. Specifically, Phil & Lil were in the Pickles' back yard waiting for the others in the group. Now that production had wrapped on the season finale of DareDevilles, their time was their own.   
The same could not be said for Tom Pickles, who was at this moment still toiling away alongside his father in the newly expanded basement workshop of the Pickles house. But Tom's friends were accustomed to his work habit; they didn't always like it, but they were accustomed to it.   
The neighbors were seated at a table similar to the one they had at work. It had been erected a couple of years previously over the sandbox. Although the sandbox hadn't been used in years, no one had had the heart to take it down or even let it fall into disrepair. They still gathered there; just a few feet higher up than when they were younger.   
As they waited for the others, the twins had time on their hands. With nothing else to do, they fell back on the usual pursuit for those with nothing else to do: they talked with each other.   
  
"Phillip?"   
"Yes, Lillian?"   
"Have you given any thought to what Mom & Dad were hinting at last night?"   
"More than even you are aware of. Why, do you have a problem with it?"   
"Of course not! Like you said, she's the best thing to have ever happened to you. Anyone who does have a problem with it will have to deal with me, & I think it's safe to assume the same goes for the others. Whoever takes one of us on takes all of us on."   
"Alright, I was just asking!"   
"Trust me, I have no more problem with you & Susie than you do with me & Chuck."   
"Chuck & me."   
"Why, Phillip! How could you? My fiancee & my brother, behind my back!"   
"And you say I have a dirty mind."   
"I am your twin; it's inevitable I'd get some of the same genes. Usually, I can fight it; but sometimes... Seriously, you don't have a problem with us, do you?"   
"Hey, Chuck's the one among us I never had a problem with. Other than Suze of course."   
"Of course."   
That finished the conversation for the time being. Eventually, however,...   
"Hm hm hm hm!"   
"What's so funny?"   
"Remember when we thought those two would wind up together?"  
"Our fiancees?"   
"Who else?"   
"Yeah. And you & me, brother, we'd have the other couple to ourselves."   
"You & Tom, Kimi & me. Ha! Didn't give you the chance to correct me there!"   
"I'll concede that point, Phillip. But only that point."   
"Yay for me anyway."   
"Mm." pause "Phillip?"   
"Yes, Lillian? And haven't we done this before?"   
"I'll ignore the last part of that. Suppose, just for the sake of argument, that Susie dumped you & Kimi wanted to come back to you, what would you do?"   
Again, Phil Deville actually had to give a subject a great deal of thought. Alright, he actually could be smart when he wanted to, but he had a reputation to keep up. "I'd tell Kimi to go back to her true love, & I'd devote the rest of my life to winning Suze back."   
Lil nodded approvingly. "And I'd do the same, in a comparable situation with Chuck & Tom."   
Now Phil was actually reflecting. "We have matured, haven't we?"   
"Hopefully not too much; I still like to have fun as much as the next person."   
"Who right now happens to be me."   
"Maybe I should rephrase that. Anyway, Susie says she still has her work cut out for her with you."   
"I can't make it too easy for her, can I?"   
"She's always taken care of all of us. Chuck too. Would you believe he once told me that if we'd never met him, you & I might be on death row by now?"   
"He once told me that too. And that Tom would be wasted & Angelica long gone in Betty Ford, & we'd never have met Suze or Kimi."   
"Think he was serious?"   
"He's always shot straight with us."   
As they talked, the current topic of conversation was about to join them.   
  
In the driveway of the Deville residence was a sky-blue Cadillac with a pink top & purple interior. It might sound like a mixed-up color scheme, the reason for which is that it was a mixed-up color scheme. When GM sent the latest annual delivery from Detroit the twins were finally allowed to select which colors they wanted. Big mistake. Phil wanted blue & Lil wanted pink, so they compromised, having both cars painted in both colors. And the interior was decided on by concensus of the others.   
That Cadillac was now joined by its twin, which then passed it, continuing to the Pickles garage, where it parked. As it did so, the twins noticed. Lil's full attention straightway fastened on to it, knowing who it contained. That wasn't the only effect it had on her, which her brother noticed.   
"Whoa, your face just lit up, at least 20 lumens."   
"Lumens?"   
"Candlepower?" he shrugged, before favoring his sister with a brotherly look, complete with a warm smile. "You're really in love with him."   
"Yes."   
The smile ripened into a grin, then split wide open, disgorging the laughs inside.   
"Stop that." to no avail. Then, "Hi, Susie!"   
"Wha-?" His head whipped around, looking behind him, finding noone. Too late, he realized he'd been had. Now the look he gave his sister was more baleful. "Hey that's not fair!"   
And who was laughing now?   
  
Meanwhile, inside Deville 2, another earnest conversation was occurring.   
  
"You, stop that!"   
"Or what?"   
"Or I'll, I'll, I'll take Wa-wa hostage, that's what I'll do."   
"Hey, don't you even joke about that!"   
"What? What's the big deal?"   
"It's..."   
"It's what?"   
Chuck tried to articulate his reasons, finally slumping in the driver's seat with "It's one of the few things I have to remember her by."   
"'By which to remember her', genius."   
"I'm serious."   
"I know." pause. "I thought after all this time, all of these years, you'd have accepted things. I can't think of anything Mom hasn't done to get you to accept her."   
"I have accepted her; I couldn't have asked for a better Mom than her. It's just... What about you? Ever think about your birth father?"   
"Not really. Chaz Finster is my Dad."   
"And in almost every way that counts, Kira Watanabe-Finster is my Mom."   
"You just had to qualify that."   
"Yes, I did. Melinda gave birth to me; I can't shut her out of my thoughts, nor should I. You really never think about him, never wonder?"   
"Mom never talks about him."   
"I guess Dad would never have talked about her if the gang & I hadn't found her picture & some other mementoes. On Mothers Day, yet."   
"Yeah, you showed me. Something about becoming one with the wind & the flowers & the rain & the trees & all that. Sounds new age to me."   
"We are in California."   
"True."   
"Seriously, Kimi, you should at least think about finding out more about your biological father. One day one of those stunts you guys pull could go horribly wrong & you might need to know some stuff for medical reasons."   
"I'll think about it. Now could we talk about something more important?"   
"What could be more important than our parents?"   
"Those with whom we'll be parents."   
"Well..."   
"Oh! there's that blush, you look so adorable when you blush like that! No wonder MY bestest friend fell so hard for you."   
"Thanks, & I couldn't help it. When you mentioned, well, what you mentioned..."   
"All of us are getting married; it's the next step. You know it's going to happen."   
"I know, it's just... wait, he hasn't..."   
"Tommy's a gentleman; you've trained him well, too well. He wouldn't put a move on his bestest friend's sister even if he was in love with her. If anything it was the other way around."   
"Oh, good." pause "Wait, you didn't."   
laughter   
"Kimi?"   
more laughter   
"Kimi!"   
But she answered never a word. By now she was out of the car & walking toward the Pickles back yard, laughing all the way, big brother following hot on her heels.   
  
Chuck & Kimi came in sight of the Devilles. They had walked around the house to the backyard, not bothering to say hello to Didi, who was in the house. Phil & Lil noticed this & decided to comment on it as the Finsters came within earshot.   
"They just come right in; not even going to bother checking in at the house." came from Phil.   
"Kind of presumptuous, don't you think?" Lil added.   
"I'd better not need an invitation!" Kimi shot back.   
"Hey, his best friend, his fiancee, I think we're safe." Chuck defended.   
"Well, you never know." Phil alluded.   
"So where is my Tom-boy?" asked Kimi, "As if I didn't know."   
"You called it," Lil confirmed, "still holed up in his workshop."   
"You're welcome to join us in waiting for him & Suze." Phil offered, gesturing to Kimi & Chuck's usual chairs.   
"He's waiting for Susie." Lil confided.   
"Hey, we're both waiting for Tommy too, Lilian!" Phil defended.   
"Speak for yourself, Phillip," Lil responded, "The only one I've been waiting for has just arrived."   
But as she was about to plant one on Chuck, she was interrupted, by Kimi of all people.   
"Hold it!"   
"What?"   
"If I'm not getting any, no one's getting any; not until Tommy emerges long enough for us to see if he sees his shadow or not."   
"You're torturing me, sis, you do know that."   
"And ironically you're the one I don't have to worry about. He is such a romantic," Kimi added to the others, "in that old-fashioned kind of way."   
"Don't I know it." Lil responded. "I can't explain it; it's like he's from another time."   
"I know what you mean. One of these days I'm going to have to tie Tommy down--"   
"That sounds like fun." Phil interjected.   
"Pervert!" came from his sister.   
"And your point is?"   
" *sigh* Susie, where are you when we need you?"   
"Hey, no-one needs Suze more than me."   
"No argument there."   
"Like I was saying, twins, one of these days I'm going to have to tie Tommy down & force him to sit through Kate & Leopold with me."   
"AUAUAAGGHHH!!!! NOOOOO!!!!"   
"Put a lid on it, Phillip! But that's it, Kimi; that's exactly what Chuck's like. That chivalrous Victorian era charisma, in a shy kind of a way. I should've seen it earlier."   
"Tell me about it. One time she forced me to watch that movie with her." put in Phil.   
"You're kidding!"   
"Oh, Chuck, are you still here?"   
"Yeah, just sitting here, quietly getting a big head. You've really seen that movie?"   
"Not by choice, Chuckeroo. But how else would I know the significance of this: who are you?"   
"I'm the man who loves your sister. Alright, you've convinced me."   
"But seriously," Lil brought the conversation back to where it had been, "I mean check him out, the hair, the sideburns," by now she was touching him here & there, "he is quite the Hugh Jackman."   
"More than I wanted to know." came from her twin to puzzlement from the others.   
"Something tells me we'll be saying that too if we ask him." Chuck cautioned.   
"And yet here we go." came from his sister. "What're you talking about?"   
And here it came. "I didn't even know that's what people are calling it nowadays, an 'ackman'? If it's not that, why else would you be saying he was a huge one?"   
The groans from that were even louder than usual, not to mention more painful.   
"That is it, Phillip! When Susie gets here I'll advise her to make you take a cold shower right after the weddings."   
"She wants it as much as I do."   
"Phillip Deville, you will stay there at your place at the table & not say a word for 3 hours & 27 minutes."   
"Why that particular length of time?" Kimi asked her big brother.   
"Why not? It was the first one that came to mind."   
"And I thought I was the one who got sick at talk of love."   
"This isn't love you're talking about."   
"Please, I don't think I'm ready to hear that they're not the same."   
"ENOUGH!" Lil had had it.   
  
Nervous minutes passed; finally, Phil once again defied his orders.   
"May I ask a question?"   
"You just did." Chuck responded.   
"Alright, may I ask one after this one?"   
pause   
"I must have a hole in my head --- actually, I have seven --- but I'll allow it."   
"Thank you, Mills Lane."   
"You sure?" came from Lil.   
"As the oldest one here, and his agent, I'll take responsibility for whatever happens. Phil, watch yourself."   
"Message received. Kimi?"   
"What is it?"   
"If I might ask, if we're not going to be occupied with our significant others --- leaving out the fact that mine isn't here yet either --- what are we going to do?"   
"I knew I'd forgotten something! Well, you guys are going to talk, and I'm going to listen."   
"What about?" Lil wondered.   
"Tommy. Now that I'm marrying him I want to know everything about him."   
"But Kimi," Chuck reasoned, "you've known him as long as the rest of us have."   
"Not true. The rest of you knew him months before I met any of you, long before Dil was born even. So, talk. Tell. me. everything."   
"Yes, ma'am." chanted the others in unison. They were afraid not to do what Kimi said. This mini-Mary Lou was a tiny terror who could beat up all of them if she wanted to. She hadn't wanted to yet, but there was no sense in taking any chances.   
"I'm not a ma'am yet." Kimi shot back.   
So the time passed slowly as Kimi grilled Chuckie, Phil & Lil about her fiancee. After an hour Susie showed up, just in time to catch the tail end of yet another Tommy story, this one being told by Chuckie solo.   
"Prudence?!?" came from the others around the table.   
"Yeah, that turned out to be her real name." came from Chuckie.   
"So was she another of the many loves of Tommy Pickles?" Lil inquired pointedly.   
"Very funny, & no. That would be Belinda."   
"Oh, really?" Kimi archly inquired.   
It was at this point that Susie finally made her presence known. "Excuse me?"   
And it was Phil's turn to have a lit up face. "Hi Suze!"  
"Am I interrupting anything?"   
Chuck fielded that one. "Just my little sister giving one & all the third degree regarding one Thomas Pickles, Esquire."   
"She wants to know everything about him." came from Phil.   
"And that does mean everything." from Lil.   
At that moment Susie tried to plant one on Phil, & got a similar reaction to the one Lil had.   
"Hey hey hey, I said!" Kimi shouted.   
"Oh yeah," Phil sighed, his right index finger finding the middle of Susie's lips as if he was helping her to shush someone. "Sorry, doc. Kimi's rule. There's no lovin' happenin' here until her man joins us."   
"So where is the subject?" asked Susie, her gaze falling on the Pickles house. "Still holed up?" Nods all around. "I don't suppose it's occurred to anyone to flush him out?"   
"Well, it might have if someone hadn't taken it into their head to play Torquemada." Phil complained.   
"You say that like it's a bad thing." said Kimi.   
"Well I will." And with that, Susie strode a-purpose toward the house. "The rest of you continue with the trip down memory lane, & I'll get the crowbar out of storage. If that doesn't work I'll try dynamite."   
"Are you sure you'll be allowed down there?" Lil called.   
"Hey, I used to babysit you guys, including him. I'll get down there."   
"Say doc, would you be interested in babysitting me?" came from Phil.   
"I can't hear you!" shouted Susie as she reached the back door. And it's anyone's guess whether or not she was faking.   
As the door closed on Susie, Lil wondered, "Do you think she's serious?"   
"Hey, to get to start kissing me, she's serious." Phil gloated.   
Lil had a comeback for that, but it would have to wait. Kimi, not letting up for a second, turned back to the others, specifically her brother. "So, about this Belinda..."   
  
  
So what's Tommy doing all this time down in the basement? Find out in the next installment of The Rugrats Weddings. Until then, & for that matter after then as well, I'm Nftnat. On e-mail I'm nftnat@aol.com & on IM I'm Nftnat. Please review, y'all. Cy'all later. 


	12. Sweet Pickles

Finally, the Nftnat has come back to Rugrats fanfic. Yes, it's time I get back to planning The Rugrats Weddings. High time. I couldn't leave Tommy down in the basement with all of you wondering, now could I? So here we are.   
  
As to the reviews...   
Junior, thank you. I didn't know that about Kimi's father. And I'd thought we'd hear no more on the subject. May I ask where you got this information?   
Kimmy Larisa, thanks.   
Thank you too, Nightw2. As you might have noticed by now, I'm fond of slipping in references to anything and everything.   
Thanks, PJS. I will put in beaucoups C/A here. There's unresolved issues between them which we need to explore. Look forward to your fics. I have reviewed one Histeria fic; better than nothing right? I'm smiling one of those smiles accompanied by flop sweat here. I'll try to do better. Hmm, Tenchi...   
Thank you, whoever you are. Nah, I know it's you Ally, or whoever you are. Hey, you're entitled; sometimes I don't know who I am. Don't worry about it.   
Much thanks to SN, for your reviews, and your own excellent fics. I just Chapters 24 & 25 and will soon review. I'll save the comments I have on it for there. Here we find out what Tom's doing as a majority of this chapter's about him. Maybe I didn't make myself clear previously. I don't intend to add that other blonde to the plot although we will see her before I'm through here. What I meant was there are similarities between that relationship and C/A. and worry not for Dil; I have plans for him.   
Book-Master, thanks for saying my work is very good; I do try. That aside, as to your recommendation that we all get together and come up with one official version, that ain't happenin'. Sure, I was inspired by the works of others; and yes, I have borrowed from others, although I will maintain to the end that I came up with the housing situation we'll see here on my own despite similarities to a fic written by another reviewer, and she knows what I'm talking about; but we're not going to agree on a single storyline, and there's no reason we should be expected to. Like you said, everyone is trying to write their own thing. That's what fanfiction is all about. There's those here who want Tommy with Kimi for instance (myself for one), those who prefer him with Lil; how to please bothe sides? You can't. You're right; none of it's real. The real stuff is what we see on Nickelodeon, although I'm sure we'd all want to turn our thoughts into reality on the small screen. *shrug* I guess we could invoke the old standby of parallel universes er sum junk like they did in the Sonic ff community, but that got real messy real quick. With respect, sir, what you suggest would be the biggest fiction of all, although I do find the idea intriguing.   
And thank you, LK. I shouldn't complain about your tardiness given how derelict I've been in reviewing. I will get to it.   
  
Rugrats and The Wild Thornberries are created, owned, and / or copyrighted by Klasky-Csupo and / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.   
DareDevilles and Fort DareDeville are my ideas and I claim rights to them.   
Red River Valley is a traditional melody and is public domain for all I know.   
Beautiful Dreamer was written by Stephen Foster.   
Sunrise, Sunset was written by Bock & Harnick and is copyright New York Times Music.   
Tweedledum & Tweedledee and Through the Looking Glass   
The Oscar is copyright the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.   
Ricky Ricardo is copyright Desilu Entertainment, a subsidiary of Paramount Television, which is a unit of Viacom.   
Animaniacs and all characters and situations from same are copyright Warner Brothers Animation & Amblin Entertainment.   
The theme song to The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis is by Max Shulman & Lionel Newman and is copyright Weiss and Barry Inc.   
Cadillac is copyright the Cadillac division of General Motors.   
The Peanut Gallery is copyright the Howdy Doody Show.   
Timberly Johanssen & the Hey Arnold concept are copyright Craig Bartlett, Snee-Oosh, and / or Nickelodeon, which is owned by Viacom.   
  
  
  
  
In the workshop set up in the basement of the Pickles house, Tom sat in his usual position, hunched over his working table. This time, however, his hands held not plans for new toys or business contracts. They held a newspaper, the classified section to be specific.   
His concentration was broken by a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see the hand belonged to his father.   
"How are you doing, Champ?"   
Tommy smiled. "'Champ'. You've always called me that, Dad."   
"And for good reason; look what you've already accomplished. After all my years of trying, you have finally done what I never could quite do: you've put Pickles Toys on the map."   
A grin broke out on Tom's face. "I couldn't have done it without you, Dad. You started the company, kept it going until I could start working with you. I wouldn't want to work anywhere else or for anyone else."   
"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that, son. But you are the 'Champ'. Ever since your mother told me she was carrying you, I knew there was something special about you. Even right after you were born, when we didn't know if you'd make it or not, I never doubted. I knew you'd survive, and thrive. I knew that you'd succeed in whatever you tried to do. And it's a true blessing that you chose to do it with me. I've always been proud of you. I tried to keep it quiet as you were growing up, never wanted to put pressure on you. But I couldn't stop calling you 'Champ'."   
No more words were said as father & son enveloped each other in the kind of a hug done only by fathers & sons.   
Stu finally broke the hold. "You never did answer my question."   
Wordlessly, Tom held out the paper & pointed to a certain section. Stu took it in, then his eyes re-focused on his firstborn. "Are you sure about this?"   
"We're getting married, Dad. It's the next step. And we can well afford them."   
"You're no longer satisfied with 'Fort DareDeville'."   
"It's all right for a bunch of single people; but for couples, starting their own families, no, we need this."   
"Well, do what you think is right. And you will, Champ."   
And another grin broke out on Tom's face.   
  
But further conversation was cut short as Susie reached the bottom of the stairs just then.   
"You know it's a shame he's too old for child labor laws to apply, but the 40 hour work week has been in force for around a century, & it applies to even the bosses."   
Stu held up his hands in defense. "I'm innocent, Susie. I tried to deal with this, but my son remains conscientious to a fault."   
"Well, that's all right when you're working. But 'all work and no play...'"   
"Go on, Champ. You'd better join your friend."   
"Friends," corrected Susie. "The whole gang's in the backyard."   
"And Mom didn't tell me?" Tom wondered.   
"She didn't know. The Devilles were next door, I was across the street, & if your fiancee & your best friend need to check in..."   
"All right, I'm coming." he said as he gathered some things. "So what's going on?"   
"Kimi is picking everyone's brains for info about her future hubby. And she's pumping 'em good."   
"How good?"   
"I'm not sure. When I got there Chuck was talking about someone named Prudence?"   
"Uh-oh. Gotta run, Dad."   
"You just take care of yourself. And Kimi."   
"I will if she doesn't beat me to it. C'mon, Susie."   
"Wait, Tommy! Are you forgetting something?" called Stu as he held up a medium-sized package.   
"OH! You're right; thanks, Dad." By the time Tommy had finished that statement he'd already snatched the package & returned to Susie's side.   
She eyed the package. "What is that?"   
Tom shook his head. "Sorry, that's classified."   
"He won't even tell me what he's been working on." came from Stu.   
"Let's go, Susie." Tom interjected from the stairs. "I'll tell you as much as I can on the way."   
She followed. "See ya, Mr. P."   
"See ya, Susie."   
  
Going up the stairs...   
"So who is Prudence?"   
"You know her. Prue."   
"Prue? Her?"   
"Yeah."   
"And you knew her back when you were one?"   
"We met a couple of times. It's a long story."   
"Mm."   
"I'll fill you in later, although I get the feeling you're the only one of the group who doesn't know all about it, now."   
"In that case I'll get it out of Phil later."   
"That, among other things."   
"Behave, Pickles."   
Tom cackled in response as he opened the door to the kitchen.   
  
On the other said of the door was Didi Pickles, humming.   
Susie noticed the tune. "What, no 'Red River Valley'?"   
Didi smirked. "Believe it or not, I do know more than one song."   
"I know," Tom put in, "Dil always liked your 'Beautiful Dreamer'."   
Didi picked up her thought. "I thought the occasion called for 'Sunrise Sunset'."   
"Because of the wedding, or weddings?" Susie guessed.   
"No." Didi countered as she kissed her son on the head. "I thought it would be appropriate because my son is rising from the basement in time for the sunset."   
Tom grimaced, from his mother's sense of humor more than from her affection. "It comes from hanging around teenagers all day. And I wouldn't change it if I could."   
Didi now beamed as she added a hug to the kiss. "Bright boy we raised, wouldn't you say?"   
"We did a good job all right."   
"Fine, take all the credit."   
"She deserves at least some of it." Tom defended. "She's always been our mentor and protector."   
"I know, dear. It was nice of her to finally clue me in as to the party in back, of my own yard."   
"It's just the usual, Mom. She was across the street, Phil & Lil next door, and Kimi & Chuck think they can come & go as they please. And who can blame them."   
"I know that too. Speaking of the group, are you going to honor them with your presence any time soon?"   
Tom was about to respond, when a thought hit him. "In a moment. First, I need to have a word with Susie."   
Which caught Susie by surprise. "You do?"   
Tom communicated with his eyes.   
Up on which she picked. "Oh. Right. You do."   
On that thought, she allowed herself to be pulled into the living room.   
Back in the kitchen, Didi shook her head good-naturedly, wondering what the kids were up to now, & reminding herself of what had been drilled into all of her generation since the kids were teenagers: that they were only parents, what did they know. She then turned her attention back to preparing the feast of welcome for her younger son, due in that day.   
  
While in the living room...   
"All right, spill it, Pickles. What do you have in mind?"   
"You go on and rejoin the others. Tell them I'll be out in a minute."   
"And what will you be doing?"   
"Um, all right, you I can trust. I'll be sneaking around the side of the house and trying to eavesdrop on the conversation."   
"What?"   
"You said Kimi's pumping everyone; I want to see her in action."   
"Oh, Tommy."   
"I'll be able to do it if you cooperate. I noticed her back's to the house; I should be able to get an earful before she gets wise."   
"Not nearly as much of an earful as you'll get afterward."   
"Let me worry about that." he said, subconsciously patting the package he'd carried up from the basement.   
Susie's eyebrows shot up, which did not go unnoticed.   
"You'll see. For now, give this to Chuck & the Devilles" he said as he wrote something on a sheet of paper in his little notebook. "Say it's a show-related matter which is for their eyes only."   
"Meaning Kimi's not to see it."   
"That's the idea. And neither are you."   
"I'm not?"   
"That's what you're to say if asked. But for the record it says 'I'm trying to sneak up on Kimi. Please don't let on. Tommy'."   
Now it was Susie's turn to shake her head. "All right, but I still think it's a crazy idea."   
"So what's new?"   
"True."   
And with that he exited via the front door. Susie, still more than bemused, turned around to head for the back door via the kitchen.   
  
"It was the best party I'd ever had!"   
"It's still the only party he's ever had."   
"That's true, technically. Chuckie's not been directly responsible for any of the parties we've had. I'll have to work with him a bit."   
"You know I'm not good at having parties, Lil."   
" *sigh* , Guess Susie's not the only one with her work cut out for her."   
"Am I hearing my name taken in vain?"   
Heads turned at the self-announced approach of the good doctor.   
"SUZE!!"   
Phil had almost closed the gap between him & his fiancee before Kimi stopped him.   
"Wait, where's Tommy? You were supposed to bring him, Susie."   
"He, um, got held up on the ground floor. But he'll be out in a minute."   
"That's good to know." Kimi turned back to the table. "Good news, everyone. Only another minute before you guys can kiss."   
Groaning, Chuck & Lil looked longingly at each other, as did Phil & Susie.   
Phil had apparently been trained to the extent that he automatically pulled Susie's chair out for her.   
"I'm impressed, Susie." Lil complimented.   
"What about me?" Phil asked.   
Kimi got her digs in. "No offense, Phil, but one compliments the trainer, not the trainee."   
Phil didn't like that. "Have I been insulted?"   
"Constantly." Chuck intoned.   
  
Then Susie glimpsed Tom, just barely in sight, alongside the house. She had to act fast. "Um, I have a message here for the people in charge of DareDevilles." She held up the folded note Tom had given her.   
"That's us." three voices piped up.   
The one voice that didn't respond had something else to say. "Wait, that's from Tommy's little notebook. What's this about, doc?"   
"He said it was about the show."   
"But the show's over. We're on summer break now." Lil said.   
"You can't start planning these things too early." Chuck commented as he took the message off of Susie's hands. "You know the department stores start planning for their Christmas hullabaloos in February?"   
"'hullabaloos'?" wondered Phil.   
"Let me see that." Kimi demanded of her brother.   
"We'll be let in on it later, Kimi." said Susie.   
"You mean you don't know either? But he gave the message to you!"   
"Because he knows I won't look at it if he asks me not to."   
"That's right," echoed Phil as he hugged his betrothed with one arm, "she's a good girl, most of the time."   
This drew an elbow. "Whadda ya mean? I'm good all the time."   
Chuck rolled his eyes at this. "And I thought there was someone here who didn't have a big head."   
"You don't." Lil pointed out.   
"Yes I do, when I'm at work."   
"That's different; it's something that goes with your suits, just part of the job."   
  
During the conversation the message from Tom had been passed from Chuck to Lil to Phil, with not unexpected humorous --- if quiet --- reactions from the three of them. Kimi noticed, and was understandably upset at being left out, and getting more so by the second.   
"All right. Someone had better tell me what's going on that everyone thinks is so funny, before I get cranky!"   
"Uh-oh." escaped from Chuck as memories of previous cranky episodes involving his sister replayed themselves in his memory. He started to chant, "Please come soon, Tommy. Please come soon, Tommy. Please come soon, Tommy." Started, but didn't get very far; try saying it yourself, it's a tongue twister. As Chuck found out; his body didn't take to it too well.   
In a trice Lil was at his side slapping his back. "Just breathe, Chuckie, deep, cleansing breaths."   
Of course Susie couldn't ignore the calling of her occupation; she endeavored to see what she could do, to which Lil didn't take well.   
"Thanks, I'll see about him."   
"Hey, who's the doctor here."   
"You are, but this one's all mine."   
"You're not jealous because Chuck & Suze used to be an item, are you, Lillian?" came from her twin.   
"Of course not, Phillip! I'm just joking."   
Susie was at a loss. Phil then took it upon himself to save the situation; rare for him. He faked a coughing fit so Susie would have an excuse for a graceful exit. Not to mention getting in a little cuddling; Kimi was still keeping an eye out for kissing.   
That's not all she was doing; she was also doing what is known in the movies as a slow burn.   
"Excuse me? Is someone going to tell me what's going on with that note and everything, or am I going to have to start--"   
But now Susie saved the day, a role to which she was used. "I'd rather talk about what was going on when I got here. What was that about Chuckie throwing a party? And why didn't you ever throw one when we were dating, you cheapskate?" She added the last part directly to the redhead, drawing a scowl from Lil, followed by a smirk.   
  
"It was back when we were babies." Lil began.   
"Yeah! I was two at the time; I didn't know what I was doing." Chuck put in.   
Phil was quick to start contributing as well, and soon the three of them were doing a round-robin recounting of Chuckie's bachelor pad. After a few minutes...   
"And all this happened in that shed in your yard?" Susie asked.   
"Where Fifi had the puppies?" Kimi seconded.   
"That's right. And it was also where we got flashed by Tom yet again." Phil answered, getting a little dig in at the one who hadn't joined them yet, at least officially.   
He could see Tom right then, behind Kimi but still out of her sight. And the conversation had been so compelling it hadn't even occurred to her to wonder if he was there.   
And she was all the more interested when she heard about seeing the other side of her fiancee. "My Tommy flashed you guys?"   
"Whoa!" came from Susie. "Tell on, troops, tell on!"   
"It was after the hard partying had finished." Chuck explained.   
"I'd eaten too much." came from Phil.   
"I'd bounced too much." from Lil.   
"And for some odd reason, which to this day even he can't explain, Tom's diaper was on top of his head." Chuck finished.   
"Wha-a-a?" Susie started before going into a giggling fit. As did Kimi.   
"So was that when you started to be attracted to him, Lil? When you saw what he had to offer?"   
"KIMI!!" came from a shocked older brother.   
"As if!" she defended.   
"Besides," Chuck continued, "it's not like we saw anything. He was on the other side of the bed."   
"Yeah," Phil concurred. "I was on the bed and I didn't see anything."   
"I was at the foot of the bed, and I didn't see anything. Fortunately, he was wearing a long shirt, said Lil, before adding, "that time."   
"You mean there were other times?" Kimi's attention, and for the matter Susie's, was now riveted on the other three. Which was fortunate for Tom, as he was now desperately trying to shush them without alerting Kimi.   
But it wasn't working; those three were going to make him pay for making them wait for affection, to say nothing of implicating them in his ruse.   
  
Chuck was first to twist the knife. "You have no idea. Why, I can remember way back when we thought there was another world on the other side of the mirror."   
"Like in 'Through the Looking Glass'?" Susie asked.   
"Exactly. He said that in Mirrorland they wear their diapers on their heads."   
"Hey, maybe that explalins it; maybe he thought he was in Mirrorland after that party." Phil conjectured.   
To silence.   
"Well, he could have."   
Lil finally picked up the conversation. "That's nothing; let me tell you two about the time we got lost in the woods."   
"I remember hearing about that. What happened?" Susie asked.   
"It was right after Dil was born." Phil continued. "Things were not pleasant."   
"To say the least." came from Lil.   
"So Tweedledum &, uh, uh, uh, Tweedledear here," Chuck faltered on realizing what he was almost calling his fiancee.   
"Passable recovery, Chuckster." she complimented.   
"Thanks." he whispered, before continuing, "were determined to take him back to the hospital & get his money back."   
"Money?" Susie wondered.   
"Long story, doc, although you might ask your mom about a gold foil-wrapped chocolate Tommy gave her around that time."   
"Thanks, I will."   
"So the Devilles hated Dil. What about you, big brother? And what about my Tommy?"   
"Are you kidding? He was his brother; Tommy was constantly defending him. And I just wanted everyone to get along."   
"Got it. But what does this have to do with the naked truth about him?"   
"Well, one time in the woods, he was defending Dil to the Devilles for the umpteenth time. He was standing next to the Reptar wagon, where Dil happened to be. A small hand reached out, pulled on the tape of his diaper, and next thing you know..."   
"Ooh!" Kimi & Susie chorused.   
"And he even used that occasion to try to make his brother look good." Phil continued.   
"Yeah. 'little breeze, feels good.' As if!" came from Lil.   
"I don't know; you didn't seem to mind at the time." Chuck hinted.   
"Let's not start that again."   
"Oh, come on, Lillian! We all saw that look on your face."   
"It was a look of embarrassment, Phillip! I looked away, didn't I?"   
"Yeah, right."   
"I must admit I'm seeing a whole new side of Tommy." said Kimi. "Or at least hearing about seeing a new side of him."   
Chuck then continued, slipping into a Caribbean accent as he did so for some reason known only to him. "But you have not yet heard the most egregious example of wild behavior from the man you love, my sister."   
"It was worse than what I've been hearing?"   
"Oh, yes." came from big brother. "You see, when he was a baby he went through a phase during which he was a nudist."   
"NO, WAY!" came from Susie.   
"Yes, way!" from her sweetie.   
"This I gotta hear!" Kimi demanded.   
To which her brother acquiesced. "Well, one day it occurred to him, 'Hey, Spike's naked! And Reptar's naked too! I wanna be naked!'..."   
"...and after that you couldn't keep anything on him." Phil finished.   
Kimi and Susie were in hysterics.   
"It gets worse, ladies." Phil cautioned.   
Seconded by his twin. "He even got Phil & me to go along with him."   
"Mom didn't like that at all."   
"We couldn't go to the Pickles' house for a while."   
"We were out of there quick as you could say, 'GREAT EVONNE GOOLAGONG!'"   
"Whoever she was."   
"She was an aboriginal Australian tennis player from the late '60's, early '70's." Kimi being the resident jock, it wasn't that surprising she would know. "Not on Billie Jean King's level, but who was at the time."   
"I still say the battle of the sexes was a sham." Phil thought out loud.   
Kimi continued. "Still she did manage to win at least a couple of majors. But don't let me interrupt; go on."   
"There's really not much to say after that." said Chuck. "After he streaked Lou Pickles' Wombat Lodge meeting he started thinking about the advantages of clothes and he figured we're not animals & we have to wear clothes. Took a bit to convince him to get undressed for baths, though."   
Susie's hand was on her forehead, which was shaking. "I really didn't need to hear this. All of my little friends--"   
"I for one am not so little, Suze." Phil insinuated.   
"Ewww!" and "NASTY!" came from somewhere.   
Then it occurred to Kimi. "Wait, what about you, big brother? Did he talk you into going au naturel?"   
Lil came to his defense, hugging him in the process. "Ha! Not MY Chuckie. Discretion has always been one of his better parts."   
Now Phil horned in. "Oh? What are his other better parts?"   
"That's for me to know and you to find out never." Chuck shot.   
"Party pooper."   
Chuck smoothed things. "Hey, it's all good. He's long since reformed; there's no chance he'll be streaking on stage when Lil accepts her Oscar, and she will."   
"Thanks, Chuckie." came from Lil.   
"You're right, big brother." Kimi was strangely serene, or quietly confident, or both. "We know that I'm the only one for whom Tommy will be getting naked now. And we also know that if I have to get him a chastity belt to make sure of it, I will."   
Gulps were heard all around.   
Chuck leaned over the table to talk with Susie. "I didn't know they made chastity belts for men."   
"Neither did I."   
It was at this time that Tom finally made his presence to his fiancee. "It's interesting that you should mention that, my dear."   
"TOMMY!!!" Taken by surprise though she was, and even from a sitting position, Kimi managed to launch herself in less than a second.   
  
On top of the man she loved, Kimi was happy. The same could not be said for everyone, however.   
Phil pulled a Ricky Ricardo. "Tommy, you got some 'splainin' to do!"   
Seconded by his twin. "Do you have any idea what we've been going through? Your little friend has banned kissing all around until she can get her hands on you."   
"Oh, that reminds me." said Kimi, before plantin' 'em all over her intended.   
Chuck observed, "I think the ban on kissing has been lifted."   
The balance of the membership celebrated the occasion, and soon the scene was starting to resemble something out of ancient Rome.   
But Tom broke it up. "Whoa, whoa, wait up everyone."   
That didn't meet with their approval.   
"I didn't think I'd be the one to say this, but I'm not sure this is such a good idea."   
"Hey!" Chuck didn't like Tom stealing his line.   
But he explained himself. "Look, we're in my parents' back yard. My mom's in the kitchen, which looks out on this yard. Any time she could look out here and--"   
"And what she'd see is three engaged couples showing their affection for each other and what's wrong with that?" came from Susie.   
But Tom wasn't mollified. "Please, this is my mother we're talking about. Would you feel as comfortable doing it across the street, Susie? Or next door, Phil & Lil?"   
There was silence; to look at people's faces, Tom had made his point.   
  
Then Kimi changed the subject when she noticed the package lying on the ground at Tom's feet. "Aaaahhhhh! Aaaahhhhh!! Aaaaaahhhhh!!!"   
Chuck smiled. "It's been too long since I've heard that out of my sister."   
"Is there a butterfly around here?" came from Phil.   
"No, I think it's about that package."   
"Package?" Phil quipped, slipping into a Liverpudlian accent. "That's disgusting!"   
Susie knew where he was going with this; she too was a devotee of Warner cartoons. "Look who's talking, Mr. Potty Emergency." she responded in her best German imitation.   
"Yes, but I never said package!"   
"Excuse me." Kimi butted in on the routine. "Could you two Animaniacs rein it in?"   
"The phrase is rope it in, Kimi, but I agree." said Lil. "You were saying something about that thing on the ground at Tom's feet."   
"Right. So what is it, Tommy? Did you bring me something?"   
Tom smiled. "I thought that's what someone's supposed to be asked by their child."   
"Getting ahead of--"   
"Point to Watanabe-Finster."   
"Thank you. So?"   
Tom picked it up, his smile deepening. He set the wrapped box on the table and motioned for Kimi to be seated. She did, and the others followed suit.   
"It just happens to go perfectly with what you were talking about just before I interrupted. And for the record..." Here he turned his gaze upon her brother. "I'm not the only one with a history of parting with his clothes."   
"Hey, I never did it on purpose, unlike you."   
Instead of arguing the point, Tom turned back to Kimi, who was thinking over his last words to her.   
"I forget, what were we talking about?"   
"Open it and see."   
She tore through the wrappings in buzzsaw fashion, flipped the lid off, and pulled out a... what was it?   
She asked as much, eyes communicating multitudinous questions.   
Kimi wasn't the only one wondering; next to the scene, Chuck & Susie were doing their best to examine the object in question from a couple feet away.   
"What do you think, doc?"   
"I'm afraid to say what I'm thinking; why don't you go first, C.C.?"   
"All right. I'm not sure, but I think there's kind of a resemblance to certain things I've seen in the books in some medieval course I once took."   
"I was afraid of that."   
"Why?"   
Her eyes met his. "I had come to the exact same conclusion."   
"Excuse, please?" came from across the table, from Phil. "We're getting so curious over here it's a good thing none of us are cats."   
"We are owed an explanation for playing along with you, Tom." from Lil.   
Who was suddenly faced by her mischievous twin. "Couldn't you have put that another way, Lillian?"   
"Don't start, Phillip; it's been years."   
"You'd better spill it, Pickles, before those Devilles drag out the skeletons, which won't do any of us any good." Chuck counseled.   
"All right. Kimi, everyone, this is for you, for her, but I'm the one who's going to be wearing it."   
Stupefaction reigned.   
"So it is a chastity belt..." Susie ventured.   
"...only for males?" Chuck finished.   
"For me, specifically. I built it on my exact specs." He then picked it up to give Kimi a better look at some parts of it. "You see that thing there? That's for you to talk into. This thing's voice activated, and it only works with your voice. Once it's on, you're the only one who can take it off."   
Kimi was stunned. She now remembered what she had been talking about, but she had been joking. Her brother had to poke her to snap her out of it.   
"Whu-?"   
"Welcome back to the land of the livid, Kimi."   
"Didn't you already use that line on me?" Chuck queried.   
"Hey, it works in both cases." Tom then turned his attention to where it belonged. "Wow, Kimi, I haven't seen you like that since I popped the question."   
Kimi had been returning to Earth in her mind, but only now did she find a firm footing on terra firma. "Wait, you're going to wear that?"   
"If you want me to. If you think it's necessary. Who knows; it might just go with that dominatrix outfit you might or might not have. I'll look forward to finding out."   
Kimi was concerned. "Tommy, are you sure about this? I mean, couldn't you get hurt in the, in, in the last place you'd want to get hurt?"   
"I'm not my Dad, Kimi. I'm not trying anything until it's passed the most rigorous safety checks from Inspector Me! Especially something like that."   
"I don't get it, Tommy."   
"Not yet, she doesn't." Phil whispered to Susie, who promptly elbowed him.   
"Why?"   
"Because I know what's been going on. You've worried about me because of my popularity and my record as a babe magnet. I just wanted to prove to you, once and for all, that I will always be interested only in you, not Hannah or Belinda or Lil, no offense, Lil."   
"None taken, Tom." she said as she tightened her grip on Chuck. "Hopefully, you'll have an easier time convincing her than I did convincing her brother."   
He turned back to Kimi. "Believe me, Kimi, when I say I love you. That I want to be with you for life. That I'm yours & yours alone."   
"'Cause Tommy wants to have a girl to call his own!'" Phil sang before being gang tackled by the others other than Tom & Kimi. After Chuck & Lil had incapacitated him, the good doctor silenced him as only she could.   
Which caused some raised eyebrows.   
"We have this understanding; whenever he says something silly or stupid I'm to shut him up any way I choose."   
"In that case he might never come up for air." Lil thought out loud.   
"And your point is?"   
"Stay out of this, Lillian!"   
"SHHHHH!" came from Tom, causing the others to tone down their acts. He then turned back to Kimi, who was again in a state of catatonia. "Kimi?"   
Then she pounced. In no time flat Tom once again found himself flat, on his back, on the grass, looking up at what to him was the most beautiful sight in the world, his girlfriend getting frisky, as they used to say.   
"Tommy Pickles, I want you! Now!!"   
His smile grew. "I'm glad you like it."   
Her kisses were heating up. "I mean it; take me now!"   
"WHOA!" came from almost all around.   
"You don't want to do that."   
"Kimi, please, not where my mother might see!"   
"Or definitely not where your brother will see; remember me?"   
"It could scar him for life."   
Silence.   
Some heads turned toward the only one who hadn't been heard from yet.   
"Hey, I get the feeling I should stay out of this. If I opened my mouth I'd have to spend the evening with my nose in The Rules."   
More silence before the balance of the membership shrugged.   
  
Tom took the occasion to try to extricate himself from his enviable position. "Kimi, please, we do have some business to discuss."   
She looked down at her boyfriend with surprise. "You mean that wasn't just a gag?"   
"Well, the message was. And although that line was the truth and nothing but the truth, it wasn't the whole truth." By now he was helping the both of them up as seats were now being filled around the table.   
"Meaning?" she asked from her now seated position.   
"Meaning it's not just Chuck & Phil & Lil I need to talk with; it's all of us who need to be in on this."   
As he talked, he picked up the newspaper which he had brought out with the box and which had somehow escaped Kimi's onslaught of unwrapping.   
"Go on." said Chuck.   
But before he could, Phil jumped in. "I believe the ladies have a question first."   
"We do?" Susie puzzled, before remembering, "Oh yeah. Ladies, on three, 1, 2, "   
"Did you get a group rate on these?" three voices demanded, holding ring fingers aloft, complete with engagements rings.   
"No!" came in unison from the males.   
"Now that that's over with, what were you going to say, Tom?" came from Chuck.   
"Thanks, Chuck. It's this. everyone, has anyone given any thought to what we're going to do after the weddings?"   
Phil grimaced. "Aww, man! Why'd you have to throw out a line like that; you just know what I'm going to say in response."   
They knew; Susie took preventative measures with another liplock.   
But Tom wasn't finished. "All right; after the honeymoons, then."   
Susie came up for air in time to say, "What?"   
"Consider what the six of us are right now, and what we're about to be."   
Silence again.   
"Make sense, Pickles." came from Lil.   
"Very well. We are currently six single people sharing a duplex. And we're about to become three married couples, sharing a duplex?"   
Comprehension dawned. "I get it." said Chuck. "We'll need to find other accommodations?"   
"Exactly. Consider this: all of us here have siblings; could you feel comfortable getting romantic shall we say, when you know your brother or sister is in the next room?"   
Finsters & Devilles looked uncomfortably at each other.   
"I mean, I know I'd be reluctant if Dil was that close to what was going on."   
"He's right. There's no way any lovin' would be happenin' with Edwin or Buster or Alyssa right there."   
"Phillip's disgusting enough as it is, but to think about him in that situation..."   
"The idea of you getting it on isn't that pleasing a prospect either, Lillian!"   
Chuck jumped in. "And I wouldn't even want to think about it. And neither would you, right, Kimi?"   
pause   
"Kimi?"   
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking."   
"KIMI!"   
"Just kidding."   
"So we start looking for houses first chance we get?" Lil asked.   
"I've already started, and maybe finished, subject to the approval of the membership." Tom held up the newspaper to underscore his latest point.   
"You've already found houses for us?" Susie asked.   
"Maybe. If price is not a concern." With this, he spread the paper on the table as the others crowded around to get a good look.   
"536, 537, and 538 Greenbriar Ridge?"   
"Hey, I know that area. That's one of the best neighborhoods in town!"   
"Price wouldn't be a consideration; it would have to not be with the prices they must be asking."   
"More to the point, consider those addresses."   
"Wouldn't those addresses have to be..."   
"...next door to and across the street from each other!"   
"We'd all still be together!"   
"Exactly." Tom ended the round robin. "I was thinking Kimi & I could take this house, Chuck & Lil, you'd be here, and Phil & Susie, here."   
"Hey, I'd be across the street from you again!"   
"And I'd be next door again."   
"Not me; I'd have moved across the street, not that there's anything wrong with that." Phil hastily added.   
"So what do all of you think? All in favor of taking these houses..."   
Five other voices shouted "Aye!"   
"Motion carried."   
Chuck spoke. "All right. I'll contact the agent, see what I can do."   
"It's as good as done, then." Tom asserted, confident in his friend's abilities.   
  
"So is there any other business, old or new?" Phil asked.   
Tom smiled. "No; we can turn ourselves to pleasure now."   
"Amen to that!" Kimi shouted.   
Chuck looked askance at his friend. "Do you perchance have something in mind there too?"   
"Sure. Am I the only one who thinks we should do something to celebrate our engagements?"   
"Tommy! We had that bash last night, on top of the one at the station with Uncle Freddy, and the one in South America, and now you want more?"   
"Well, sure! It'll be fun, & I could use the break from work."   
Kimi spoke up. "Oh, as if you'll really take any time off! Sometimes I think your mind's more on Pickles Toys than on me."   
"Now you know that's not true."   
"Hmm, audience?"   
"TRUE!!!" four voices responded.   
"Oh, very funny."   
But now Chuck was thinking. "Getting back to the topic, think maybe we should do something tonight to celebrate? After all, we are betrothed now."   
"Getting in some of that Old World charm, Chuckster?"   
"Oh, dry up."   
"I know. How 'bout we go to a movie, & not watch the movie?" Phil suggested.   
"Sounds like a plan to me." Susie seconded.   
Lil chimed in. "And the best part is since we'll all be having fun together, those who have siblings in the immediate area will be too busy with their respective intendeds to notice said siblings doing the same."   
"Are you saying I'll be concentrating too much on making out to notice you doing the same?" Phil asked.   
"And vice versa."   
"So now that that's settled, what movie will it be?" Tom asked.   
"Does it matter?" from Phil.   
Chuck pondered. "Y'know, I can remember when we'd go to the movies & actually watch what was going on on the screen."   
Phil was now checking the movie listings on the other side of paper the real estate listing were in. "We just might do that this time. I see The Return of Mecha-Reptar is playing at the drive-in."   
Kimi was surprised. "Drive-in? They still have those things?"   
"Oh, there's a few of them still around." Susie confirmed. And she would know.   
Tom grabbed the paper away from Phil. "Wait, let me see that. Return of Mecha-Reptar. I remember this movie; Pickles Toys did some work on it. We're talking endorsements, screen credit, product placements..."   
Kimi now turned a worried face to the others. "Could we go to some other movie? He's going to be watching for Pickles on the screen the whole time, which means I won't get to see his."   
"KIMI!!" came shocks from either side of her.   
"What?"   
"That's it." Tom shot. "Just for that, no Pickles for you until after the wedding."   
"Aw, nuts! I was so hoping..."   
Chuck glared at the young couple. "Considering what I've just heard, Return of Mecha-Reptar it is."   
"Oh, you're no fun."   
"And I promise, I'll concentrate on you." Tom reassured.   
That out of the way, Lil now turned to logistics. "Great. So how will we work this. Three couples, two cars?"   
"What do you mean two cars? I'm taking Kimi in the Pickles Wagon. Lots of room to..."   
"Tom..."   
"I'm engaged to her now. And besides, we're both adults."   
"She's still my sister."   
"Now what if Phil made as much of a fuss as you do?" Kimi asked.   
Which Phil answered. "If I did that, none of us would have any fun. Take my advice, Chuckie, concentrate on your date & forget about what your sister's doing; I know I intend to."   
But Chuck wasn't finished. "I'm serious, Pickles. I don't want to hear about my sister's love life. Even after the wedding I won't want to hear about it."   
"I will." Lil confided to Kimi. "We'll have to make sure to get together every week or so to dish all the dirt."   
"I don't think so."   
"Why not?"   
"'Cause you still have a crush on Tommy."   
"I do not!"   
"And besides if I talk to you about my sex life, you'll want to start talking to me about yours. And seeing that it's with my brother that would be equally weird."   
"You can talk to me about it." Susie told Kimi. "But not you, Lil. Since mine will be with your brother."   
Now Lil was disconsolate. "Oh, Chuckie, what are we going to do? Our closest friends won't share with us, because one couple includes my brother & the other includes your sister."   
"It is a bit of a problem, all right."   
"I guess we'll just have to break them up & have them switch partners."   
"Hmm, Tommy & Susie, Phil & Kimi. It has possibilities."   
"HEY!!!!" came from four outraged voices.   
"Gotcha!" from the other two voices.   
Tom tried to restore order. "Anyway, before the peanut gallery took over..."   
Where Chuck got the peanut is anyone's guess. "Peanut, peanut! Anyone want a peanut? Getcha peanut...HONK!"   
"Whadda ya know, that peanut was good for something."   
"HONK!!"   
"Now, Take 2. Before I was interrupted by the peanut gallery, twice, I was trying to say that Kimi & I will be going in the Pickles wagon, so both Cadillacs are at your disposal. And two couples & two cars works out quite nicely."   
"Fine, so Chuckie & I can go in Deville 1, & Phil & Susie can go in Deville 2."   
"I don't think so; Susie & I will go in Deville 1, & you & Chuckie can go in Deville 2."   
"No, I'm going in Deville 1."   
"No, I am."   
"I am!"   
"I am!"   
"I AM!!"   
"I AM!!"   
"I AM, PHILLIP!"   
"I AM, LILLIAN!"   
"I guess we'll just have to settle this in the usual way." The Devilles now turned toward their agent.   
Who almost ran out of reach. "Oh, no! Nonononono! You two are not pulling out any more of my hairs to settle your little differences! I'm pulling enough out worrying about your dangerous stunts on the show!"   
"Now what?"   
Now it was Tom's turn to step in. "If I might make a suggestion, there's this concept they've come up with in the past couple of centuries. It's called flipping a coin." He produced one as he talked. "Look, heads Lil gets Deville 1, tails Phil gets Deville 1. Okkay?"   
"All right."   
"Yes! I get Deville 1."   
"Oh, poo."   
"It was about time we changed; Lil was always getting the long hair anyway."   
"I was not, Phillip!"   
"You were so, Lillian!"   
Yet another twin pique was headed off by Susie. "I don't get it; those Cadillacs are identical in every way."   
"It's the principle of the thing."   
  
Now a period of calm settled over the table, particularly with regard to the super agent to the stars.   
"Wow, I haven't seen you this calm since you slept in a crib, Chuck." Tom observed.   
"I just feel on top of the world. All of us are about to spend the rest of our lives with the people we love, and all of our needs are provided for. I just feel like nothing could go wrong in our lives right now."   
"Don't say that!" Phil panicked. "In the movies that's what someone says just before everything goes crazy!"   
"Phil, that's the movies; this is real life. If we were in the movies we'd have met that Thornberry bunch that used to have our time slot while we were on our travels."   
"Um, Chuckie, we did that." Lil gently remonstrated.   
"We did?"   
nods   
"Oh. I thought I dreamed that. Well, if we were in the movies we'd have met that kid with the weird-shaped head. You know, the one who went into the jungle to look for his parents?"   
Now it was Susie's turn to take the wind out of his sails. "Actually, Timberly could introduce us to him. He happens to be her brother's best friend."   
"Oh." Chuck's voice was now very small. "I'm not going to win this, am I?"   
"It doesn't look like it, big brother."   
That was when Tom noticed another car pulling up to his parents' house. "Wonder who that is?"   
The group moved over to the fence to get a better look.   
"Whoever it is is rolling in it."   
"Or trying to give that impression."   
"That's a rental car."   
"You sure?"   
"As much time as I spend around airports? Yes."   
"Wait, they're getting out, its..."   
All conversation halted as the occupants revealed themselves to be...   
"Timmy and Angelica."   
"Aren't they supposed to be in Paris?"   
"Whether they are or not, they're here now."   
"Well, this should be interesting." said Susie, her eyes on her best friend and the man said best friend had taken away from her.   
Lil squeezed Chuck's hand as he muttered, "Oh, give me strength."   
Her twin looked at him and intoned, "You were saying, Chuck?"   
  
  
And so we come to the end of yet another chapter. Be on the look-out for Chapter 13: Come the McNultys.   
There's something else y'all should be on the look-out for. I've been looking at this fic and I realized I'm not being fair. There's a lot of time in between All Growed Up and The Rugrats Weddings. Much could happen and has happened. I've alluded to bits and pieces of it here, but I need to go into detail. Quesitons need to be answered. Such as why are the couples coupled the way they are? How did they get that way? Was there any conflict between them? How did Angelica snare Timmy? How did Susie come to get involved with the group, especially with Phil? Were there any blow-ups? These and other questions I will hopefully answer in a fic series on the Rugrats in high school, maybe college.   
First, though, I will post a fic taking place around the start of high school in which they lose someone. The title: I Miss You a Little. Coming soon to this board. And although I'll be posting it in pieces, I almost have it finished. So there won't be any unreasonable delays. And don't worry: I won't neglect this story either.   
All that being said, please review this chapter. I remain Nftnat. On e-mail, I'm nftnat@aol.com . And on IM I'm Nftnat . Cy'all around. 


	13. Come the McNultys, plus

Folks, after more than a month, I've finally posted another chapter of this story; it seems that I no longer have the time to update as frequently as I would like, but rest assured that I WILL continue to update. I have too much in mind that is yet to happen.   
  
Lil Kimi, thanks. I'm glad I'm back too, finally. I seem to take too long to put these things up anymore; sorry about that. And I too look for things to pick up now that Angelica & Timmy have finally joined the group; Angelica has this personality that will not be denied, ever notice that? What am I saying, of course you have, haven't you.   
And thank you, PJS. I'm glad you think it's good, and you're right in that there should've been more in the details department; hopefully I'll improve in that area. As to the 'real soon' thing? Well, I'll do what I can, which obviously isn't enough but what can I do.   
Um, thanks, informer, or dylan (?) always glad to get a review. Hmm, there's a Dylan I know from the Road Rovers fanhood, wonder if that's who you are. Oh well, like I said glad to get the review & hope you continue to do so.   
Thank you, Starry Nights. Glad to hear that you missed me, although in the words of Kosh from Babylon Five, I have always been here. "fantastic as usual"? Fantastic of you to say so.   
Kimmy Larisa, thanks. Considering how long it takes me to post these things, I should be the last to take offense at someone not reviewing in a timely fashion; don't worry about it. Oh, and about Dil? You never know, he could be just on the other side of any sentence. Read on.   
Also, I'd like to thank those of you who've been reviewing my other Rugrats fic, I Miss You a Little. I am currently working on the next chapter for that one too.   
  
Rugrats & all Rugrats concepts are created, owned, and / or copyrighted Klasky-Csupo and / or Nickelodeon, a unit of Viacom.   
Peavey the druggist, a character from the Great Gildersleeve radio program, is copyrighted to whatever entity currently holds the rights to that program.   
"If You're Going to Play In Texas" was recorded by Alabama on their Live album, RCA 1988.   
Michael Buffer, the Beatles, Ed Sullivan, Bob Dylan, the Lovin' Spoonful, the Mamas & the Papas, and Phil Spector are copyright themselves & whatever entities hold the rights to those groups and / or individuals.   
References to the McMahon family are fair game, although it wouldn't surprise me if ol' Vinny Mac has copyrighted such to Titan Entertainment & the WWE.   
Cinderella is public domain, I think, although with the litigating bent of D*sn*y lawyers you can't be too careful.   
DareDevilles was originated by me; I came up with it all by myself.   
  
  
  
Those who were about to join the group, the married couple, split once they left the car. Timmy headed for the front door while Angelica broke for the back yard.   
The group broke toward the interior of the yard, both to give her room and to not tip her off that they had been watching.   
Unsurprisingly, Angelica felt the need to make an entrance, complete with an announcement thereof. If she had only known that Kimi would be ready for her... it probably wouldn't have made any difference.   
"Here I am, all you lucky peo-"   
"ANGELICA!!"   
*WHOMP!* Another display of acrobatics; the diminutive medallist was now on top of the blonde.   
"Umph! Kimi! So help me, if you're not out of reach by the time I'm up I swear I'm going to make my cousin a pre-widower."   
"Oh? Say, while you're at it could you make me one too? I hear they're really eas-"   
"AUARGHH!" Angelica flailed, but by the time she was up Kimi was indeed safely out of reach. Especially with the others --- other than Chuck of course, who hung back --- now crowding around Angelica.   
  
"So, cousin, why's your husband taking the scenic route?"   
"You know Timmy; he wants to go through the channels. When he visits he'll check in with the proprietors of the place, pay his respects. Unlike some people." she added, correctly figuring the group had long since abandoned such niceties.   
Susie defended herself. "Hey, I checked in with both senior Pickles. While I was inside getting Tom." she sheepishly admitted.   
"Mm-hmm."   
"Oh, shut up."   
  
Then Angelica turned her attention to Chuck, and the tensest part of the visit so far.   
"Hey Finster, what're you doing back there? Come on over & join us!"   
"Why, are you falling apart?" Phil just had to put in, to which Susie reacted in the usual way.   
Meanwhile, Chuck fumbled for an answer, finally coming up with, "Um, no thanks, I, I, I'm looking out for my sister back here."   
"Isn't that supposed to be my cousin's job now?"   
"Not yet, it isn't."   
"My brother is so chivalrous; I keep telling him I can take care of myself but..."   
The tension would have mounted from that point had Lil not changed the subject. "Ang, Timmy will be joining us shortly, right?" Before her twin could react she did. "Not one word, Phillip!"   
"Aw, nuts!" came from him, and from his fiancee.   
To Angelica's unspoken question, Susie explained. "We have this understanding: when he says something silly or stupid I shut him up any way I choose."   
"Wow, in that case he might never come up--"   
"It's been done." Chuck intoned.   
Angelica looked askance at him before deciding to let it go. "O-o-o-okkay. To answer your question, Lil, of course he'll be here; we never go anywhere separately."   
"Poor Timmy." Chuck commented.   
"Mmm, well, now, I wouldn't say that." came from the doorway of the house.   
At that, Angelica's face lightened at least five shades. The group as one turned to see, leaning on the doorway, arms crossed, mile-wide grin on his face...   
"TIMMY!!!"   
Phil was among those exulting. "All right; our guru has returned!"   
"It ain't Peavey the druggist." Timmy shot back, a ref only Phil would get.   
He then stepped out of the doorway, into a group hug from the, well, from the group. Silently, he took it all in.   
When they finally gave him some breathing room, he spoke again.   
"Nice to see all of you again too. Evening, Suze." he added.   
"Hello, Timmy." Susie's smile was tinged with a slight hint of melancholia as she nodded, a silent acknowledgment of what the two of them had once thought they had.   
Angelica frowned at that, but she kept it inside. Phil took it better, letting it slide. Well, almost.   
"Hey, I thought I was the only one who could call you that."   
"Phil." Susie pleaded.   
Then he remembered. "Oh yeah. Sorry." He mouthed the last word indicating he was dropping the matter before he picked it up.   
And Kimi noticed something about the two newest additions. "Is it just me or do they look a bit wiped?" She asked to anyone.   
The one who answered was her brother. "Kimi! After several hours on a plane from about halfway around the world, what do you expect? Of course they'd be a bit out of it what with jet lag and all. As much as we've been travelling around the world we can relate."   
"Rough trip?" Lil asked sympathetically.   
"I wouldn't say that 'rough' was the word for it." Timmy reluctantly admitted while trading guilty secretive smiles with his wife.   
And another was added to the list of topics best left alone, by universal mutual silent consent.   
  
But now Kimi was at it again. "So did you bring us anything?"   
More than one face slap was performed in response.   
"What is it with you and gifts?" Chuck moaned.   
"Chuckie's right; why should we give you guys anything? We're not your parents." Angelica started, before her husband interrupted her by clearing his throat.   
"Actually, we did find something you might like at the airport; we figured we couldn't pass it up."   
"Oh yeah. A little something we had in the back seat. Timmy brought it through the house with him, and if we can pry it away from Aunt Didi..."   
That was all that they needed to put the pieces in place. In addition to which, Tom --- who just happened to have the best view of what was going on in the kitchen --- glimpsed the 'present'. At that time, Tom Pickles changed into Michael Buffer.   
"Lllllllladies & gentlemen, boys & girls, children of all ages from one to a thousand one, if you will direct your attention to the back door of the residence of Stuart & Deidre Pickles, may I introduce to you, in this corner, weighing in at 198 lbs., the pitcher for the next generation and the generations beyond, the phenomenon of the 21st century, your friend and my brother, give it up for DYLAN! PRESCOTT!! PICKLES!!!"   
  
Long before Tom had finished his spiel, the others had gotten into character. While Phil hung back, Timmy stayed next to the door where he took the stance of a bodyguard, and Chuck headed for the other side of the door to essay himself, C.C. "Chuck" Finster III, super agent to the stars. Meanwhile, Tom continued to brandish his nonexistent microphone, and the ladies, well, who knew what they were doing. The only one unaffected was Angelica, who didn't think much of the whole thing.   
She thought even less of it when Kimi & Lil & Susie started screaming like crazed fangirls at the advent of the Billion Dollar Baby (just don't call him that).   
"Oh, for-- would you stop it already? Don't you realize how far back you're setting the women's movement? Especially you, Lil; what would your mother the feminist say if she saw you getting all gushy like that? And with her next door there's no reason she wouldn't be watching."   
Lil offered a Bronx cheer in response.   
"Oh, very mature."   
But by now Dil had finally made his appearance and had joined the gathering.   
"Hello, sports fans!"   
"Already he's working on his broadcasting career." Someone was heard to mumble.   
And now, after an impromptu wave, Tom & the girls sans Angelica had formed a makeshift press corps shouting out one question after another to 'Mr. Pickles'.   
Chuck stepped in front of his richest client to do what he does best. "Ladies & gentleman, members of the press, my client has a short statement which he would like for me to read, after which he will take questions, but for no longer than five minutes. He's a busy man who has many things going today he needs to take care of. So, if..."   
"Ah, he's a bum!"   
Heads turned to find Phil heckling Dil over at the table; apparently, that was his role in the charade, self-assigned or otherwise.   
"You heard me, Pickles, you're a bum!"   
Dil feigned outrage. "Who let that heckler in here? Security!"   
Timmy was on it; he closed in on Phil within two seconds. The ensuing struggle was quite realistic, though not real.   
As it progressed, Kimi got another idea, which is always playing with fire.   
"Say, that looks like fun!"   
A similar gleam appeared in Lil's eye. "So what are we waiting for?"   
Tom was already ahead of them, trying to be first in line to join in. It snowballed from there as everyone wanted to get involved, except Angelica.   
And Chuck. "Um, guys? Maybe this isn't such a good ideaaaaaaaaaaaa..."   
But he was overruled, not to mention overwhelmed --- physically and otherwise --- as his sister & his fiancee picked him up & carried him with them.   
The knot moved toward Phil & Timmy with surprising speed; in no time those two were swallowed up in the former. Everyone but Angelica was roughhousing now.   
Suddenly the frightful cry rang out, "Dog pile on Dil!"   
"No! My hands! Help!"   
In times to come, they would agree that Chuck definitely earned his pay that day, as he absorbed the brunt of the punishment which would have been dished out on the budding superstar.   
As soon as Chuck could talk, he let loose with a shout that would've done credit to Joe Besser. "Don't ever dooooooooooo that! One injury, and there goes his career!"   
Angelica had had enough; she approached the pile intent upon chewing out one & all, with one possible exception. "If everyone's finished making fools out of themselves," she started.   
"DOG PILE ON ANGELICA!"   
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"   
But it was in vain; they showed no mercy on her.   
Five minutes later, on the ground underneath a mass of humanity, Angelica rested her head on one hand, drumming the fingers of the other on the ground. "This just isn't my day."   
On the other end of the pile, Dil was in heaven. He was king of the hill, in more ways than one. "Ah, it's good to be home." Then he reached toward those under him. "I missed all of you so much!"   
  
Slowly, the pile unfolded. Those who were at home around the table started to take their seats.   
Angelica didn't like that. "Hey, where's my seat?"   
"Sorry, Angelica." Phil started.   
"We only have so many." Lil finished.   
"Haven't you ever heard of 'ladies first'?"   
"Sure, but what does that have to do with you?" Chuck flung yet another barb at her.   
"Besides," his sister put in, "weren't you the one talking to us about setting back the women's movement?"   
"Equal rights would necessarily imply equal wrongs, cousin." was Tom's contribution.   
Angelica sputtered. "You people are impossible!"   
"I disagree." Dil spoke up. "They're great." He turned to the group around the table. "I love all of y'all, even Deville."   
"'Y'all'?" Kimi wondered before Phil could speak.   
Her brother explained. "If you're going to play in Texas you need to know the language."   
Which set Phil's mind off on a tangent, what else is new? "I thought it was 'If you're going to play in Texas you gotta have a fiddle in the band'."   
Blank looks all around.   
Phil was now very sheepish. "Never mind." he said in a very small voice.   
Tom took the subject on another detour. "Speaking of Texas, how did you find it, Dil?"   
"It was just the other side of New Mexico."   
Phil supplied the rimshot as the others groaned.   
"But seriously, it's a very nice place. Oh, Uncle Mackie & Aunt Edie send their regards."   
"And Emmit?"   
"No, they couldn't send him; 'Big Tex' is out on tour. You know how the pro wrestling business is, constant touring, go go go 24-7 basically. One day Lubbock, the next day Little Rock, the next day Louisville, yadda yadda yadda."   
"You think that feud with Thanatos will ever end?" Phil asked.   
That interested Dil. "Oh, you've been keeping up."   
"Try to stop him." Kimi rolled her eyes. "If how he was years ago is any indication he's quite the fan, and that was before he knew your cousin was in the business."   
"It's classic theater," Phil defended.  
Someone snorted. "Oh, puh-leeze!"   
"The pomp, the pageantry, and those story lines are kicking a-- these days. That feud between Big Tex & Thanatos alone, it's gone on for over a year & it's all been gold." "He really believes all this." his twin wailed.   
"Now that the McMahon estate has been settled, the antitrust suit is over with & there's some real competition for the first time since the '90's; things are finally worth watching & really getting involved again. Just in time for someone's cousin to make a run for the title belt."   
Chuck mused. "He's always wanted to put on the tights himself."   
"Please, don't remind me." His sister moaned.   
Susie corrected. "'Us', you mean. I thought for certain that those ideas would've been knocked out of him after what happened to him in high school, but..."   
"What are you talking about?" Tom asked, being clueless of the events to which they were referring.   
Phil thought fast, which was admittedly out of character for him. "Um, they thought any sort of athletically-oriented activity would have been pounded out of me after being on teams with 'Dil the Drill'."   
  
Dil heard that. "I'll ignore that, Deville, because there's something more important I have to discuss with you guys. What's this I hear about all of you selling out?"   
The others didn't know what he meant.   
"What're you talking about?"   
"There's no selling out going on over here."   
"Are you talking about the show?"   
"You sure you didn't catch one of your own fastballs, in the head?"   
"DIL!" Tom practically screamed his response, a bit uneasy at such a topic of conversation so close to the local rep for MergeCorp, even if she was his cousin. Pickles Toys was an independent concern, and he preferred that it remain that way for the foreseeable future.   
Fortunately, Angelica didn't pick up on it; she seemed as clueless as anyone else. "Make sense, cousin, as if that's possible."   
"Very funny. I'm talking about three engagements."   
"Oh"'s all around.   
Susie asked Timmy, "Let me guess, you guys told him at the airport?"   
"We didn't have to; he got the word from his mother on the plane. Gotta love those cell phones. Not to mention PDAs, e-mail, the internet--"   
"I get it already."   
And Dil's rant continued.   
"The term for an engaged person is a Benedict, which just happens to be the first name of the most infamous traitor in history. Coincidence? I don't think so."   
"You need to stop reading those tabloids, Dil; they'll rot your mind." Chuck counselled. "And that's Benedick, not Benedict."   
"Huh?" Dil then shook his head. "And you, you'd think you could have told me something; it's not like you didn't have the chance just a couple days ago!"   
Lil was in a similar mood as Chuck toward the young man for whom the two of them had always been like an extra set of parents. For the moment. "Dil, what's the big deal about all of us getting married?"   
"How can all of you do this to me? It's like I'm losing all of my friends in one fell swoop! I'll be the only one left!"   
"It happens to just about everyone at this time of life, bro; it'll happen to you soon enough." Tom put in.   
"NEVER!"   
"Never say 'never'."   
And again, Chuck took on a paternal role. "Dil, there's no need for you to shout, especially to your brother."   
  
"Hey, wait a minute!"   
Heads turned toward the source of that latest sentence, Phil.   
"What is it, Phil?" his future brother-in-law asked.   
"I have a question for you, Dil."   
"What?" Dil asked.   
"What did you mean you love all of us, 'even Deville'?"   
The prolonged silence ripened into sighs as they realized that...   
"It took him five minutes to get back to that."   
"I've been trying to figure out if this delayed reaction schtick of his is just a gimmick." Lil mused.   
"I'll let you know." Susie confided.   
Phil continued. "Should we get the vibe that you have something against me?"   
Dil was dumbfounded. "You're kidding."   
"No."   
"Where should I start, back when you dropped me on my head--"   
"We only did that once." Lil put in.   
"--or shall we go back to right after I was born?"   
Now it was Phil's turn. "Oh, come on! You can not still be holding that against us!"   
"You two never did like me."   
And now Lil's. "How can you say that? You've been like the son I haven't had yet. I've been like a mother to you!"   
"More like the stepmother from Cinderella."   
"Hey! Watch it with the 'step' cracks." Kimi warned.   
"Step on a crack, break your mother's back?" Phil philosophized, to no one's reaction.   
But now Chuck weighed in. "Kimi, you know there's nothing 'step' about our family; don't take it personally." Then he turned his attention to Dil. In his best '50's tv dad voice. "Dillon, that's no way to behave."   
Dil was immediately contrite. "Yes sir." This was one person for whom he had enormous respect; Chuck had indeed been like a brother and a father to him, even though he was already well supplied in both areas.   
And a calm settled over the table & yard. It wouldn't last long, but there it was.   
  
About this time, Timmy felt his wife's eyes boring a hole in him. He turned to face her glare.   
"What?"   
"You, encouraging them."   
"Well, babe, even we rich heirs can be bought." defended Timmy.   
"Or awed", put in Lil. "It's not every day we get a celebrity in here."   
"You're ALL celebrities!!" Angelica exploded. "Thanks to that show of yours!"   
"Yeah!" confirmed Timmy. "DareDevilles is on wherever we go in North America."   
"And soon you won't be able to get away from it no matter where you go in the world, now that we have those overseas contracts." Chuckie informed the McNultys.   
"Oh, no!" groaned Angelica. "It's bad enough now. Everywhere I go in the US & Canada, as soon as they know I'm a Pickles they want to know if I'm related to 'Tom Pickles of Pickles Toys', then they ask me all these questions about all of you."   
"Ah, our public!" exulted Lil.   
"It's stupid, your whole show is stupid! For crying out loud, it's the 2010's! Doesn't anyone realize how dated reality TV & adventure shows are by now?"   
"Yes, we do." said Kimi. "So we mix it up, jazz it up, tweak it, come up with combinations not thought of before. And the people love it, as you yourself have confirmed, Angelica."   
"It's the American way to take what's old & make it new & exciting." informed Phil. "It's just like what happened with folk music back in the '60's."   
Blank looks all around, again.   
"You know," he continued. "Folk was big in the early '60's, really big, in fact it was feared folk would replace rock & roll. Then those guys from Liverpool went on Mr. Sullivan's show & bam! Two words: British Invasion. So what happens to folk? Dylan plugs in, the Spoonful find new uses for the jug & autoharp, & the Mamas & the Papas borrow from Phil Spector."   
The blank looks continue at Phil's knowledge of music history. Some faces turn toward Susie for an explanation. She shrugs, shakes her head & smiles. "I continue to be amazed at my man's talents." And with that, she proceeded to put Phil in a liplock.   
By the time she was done, Angelica's face had returned to an expression of disgust. "I am not going there!" she said emphatically. "These kids are corrupting you, Carmichael."   
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Susie shot back. "I love getting corrupted by these kids, especially this kid." indicating Phil, with whom she was still entangled.   
"Ange?" By this time Timmy had found his way to his wife's side. "I thought you liked being corrupted."   
If Angelica was embarrassed, she covered it & her anger with a satisfied grin, which was not completely a put-on. "Only when it's us, McNulty." she whispered.   
  
  
  
Surprise! Didn't expect Dil to show up just yet, did y'all? Oh, I'm already fine-tuning the next chapter, Angelica's Ashes (intriguing title, no?), so it shouldn't take too long to get it up this time. But you know how that goes. We'll see. Please review. Of course, I'm Nftnat. On e-mail I'm Nftnat@aol.com & on IM I'm Nftnat. Cy'all around. 


	14. Angelica's Ashes

Finally, I put up another chapter of the Rugrats Weddings. Many thanks to Lil Kimi for giving me a little push while reviewing Hearts In a Tangle; it gave me the impetus to finally finish this chapter. That's right; most of the chapter had been done for months, but I was a bit stuck on Chuckie's speech. No more, obviously. Here it is then.   
I must warn y'all, though, that this will be intense. There are issues in the past with which I deal here. It ain't pretty. Oh, and there will be refs to dozens of episodes; if anyone wants I could post a list. Lemme know.   
  
Reviews, reviews. Thank you, Kimmy Larisa. Yes, Dil showed up. He doesn't have much to do here, but I do have plans for Dil.   
Thanks for the review, Nightw2. And you're welcome for finally updating, which I do again here.   
And thank you, Pokejedservo. You do well to be intrigued. Of course I know that you're a Chuckie / Angelica shipper; I start to deal with that here. I'm thinking that Angelica had been seriously crushing on Chuckie from the get-go, but something inside herself short-circuited any efforts she might have made, causing things to go hideously awry. Imo the shy & sensitive Finster could very well have taken the many dishes of suffering dished out to him personally. Very personally. Kind of like a Helga & Arnold thing, if Helga was a year older than Arnold. But that's just me. Bear with me, though. They will work through this, and I have plans to resolve for a beautiful resolution. It won't result in pairing the two of them, though. For that I apologize.   
Y'all, it goes without saying, but I say it anyway. Please read & review. Thank y'all.   
  
It's a Wonderful Life was a Frank Capra film for Liberty Films (the only movie to come out of that studio).   
Darkseid was created by Jack Kirby for DC Comics, a unit of AOL-TimeWarner.   
The Grinch is a creation of Theodore Giesel, aka Dr. Suess.   
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory and the character Augustus Gloop were created by Roald Dahl.   
Cinderella is an old folk tale to which the Walt Disney Corporation does not have all rights, although it's not from lack of effort on their part. They just have rights to their version of the story.   
Steve Urkel is copyright Miller-Boyett Productions and Warner Brothers Domestic Television, a unit of AOL-TimeWarner.   
The copyright on the Olympics is held by the International Olympic Committee, I think.   
You Always Hurt the One You Love was written by Fisher & Roberts and has been recorded many many times by many many people including Charlie Barnet, Fats Domino, Connie Francis, Clarence 'Frogman' Henry, Earl Hines, Brenda Lee, and the Mills Brothers; it's what's known as a standard.   
  
  
"So Angelica," began Tommy, "don't think we're not happy to see you --- because we're not --- but what are you doing here?"   
"Yeah, shouldn't you be getting MergeCorp controlling interest in the E.U. about now?" put in Chuckie. As he said this, the expressions on the faces of four of the other five people at the table turned into something that could best be summarized as 'Huh?'   
"It's been in the news and the financial sections, guys. MergeCorp is bordering on becoming a political entity; there's talk of it getting its own embassy, a seat in the U.N., & so on." Chuckie explained, then muttered to Timmy, "Someday these kids will learn there's more to reading material than Sports Inundated & Varie-T. And Bill-bored," he added, looking at Phil.   
"You're exaggerating, Finster; we're not that powerful --- yet. And to answer your question, cousin, what do you think I'm doing here? Did you really think that my cousin, my best friend, & all of their closest friends --- who happen to comprise my innermost circle of friends --- would marry each other without me there having a say in the matter? No way! I'm here to give you guys the best wedding Planet Earth has ever seen!"   
The ensuing silence was deafening, to the extent that Angelica was silenced, any additions she had thought to make to her monologue quite forgotten. A vague disquietude arose in the pit of her stomach. The heads around the table huddled for a conference; by the time they rose, Angelica was noticeably sweating.   
"Um, Angelica," began Tommy, "what makes you think we want you planning our weddings?"   
"WHAT?!?"   
"What makes you think we want you involved with our weddings at all?" Lil added.   
Already Angelica was quite distraught, & her psyche was deteriorating by the second. "But, but,..."   
"You haven't exactly been nice to us over the years." came from Kimi.   
"What are you guys talking about? Haven't I been a good friend to you through the years? Haven't I led you successfully through the path I had already trodden one or two years previously? Except for you, Susie. Haven't I been a friend and a mentor to you guys since you were babies?"   
"Oh, don't go there, cousin." warned Tommy.   
"You really don't want to start dragging out the garbage from our infancies." Chuckie said.   
"What?!?! Name just one time I was really mean!"   
"Hoo boy!" said Phil. It had begun.   
"Someone want to pull up the database? Under 'Angelica, see also Torture, Cruelty, Bullying, Mental anguish...' " Susie began.   
"What about the reunion, when you had me & the other cousins thinking we were going to leave with other parents?"   
"What about when you had Phillip & me going against each other trying to find out which one was the favorite?"   
"Or when you told us that Fluffy was going to eat our dad's tongue? Lillian was crying her eyes out!"   
"And you'd always excuse it: 'It's not my fault they'll believe anything.' Well, you never hesitated to take advantage of their trusting natures, and then some. I remember the first time I saw you; you were in rare form with these guys. 'If I want something it's mine. If I want to hurt you I will. If I want...' "   
"All right, I get the point already!" shouted Angelica.   
"I remember when I started to act like you. Chuck was in tears & the others wanted nothing to do with me." was Kimi's contribution to the conversation.   
"You always were especially mean to Chuck, Angelica." Tommy thought out loud. "Like that time you 'saved his life', so you made him be your slave."   
"She did what?!?" Susie was outraged.   
"Or that time you made him wear frilly panties, that he still doesn't want to talk about." Lil thought out loud, drawing a couple of curious looks.   
"You guys still don't know the worst of it." Chuck whispered.   
"What do you mean, Chuckaroo?" Tommy said, as everyone's attention now focused on the sad-faced redhead, including a now very nervous Angelica. He was silent, stirring concern in the others, especially Lil & Kim.   
"Chuck, dear?"   
"Big brother?"   
Chuck finally spoke, so softly that the others had to stop everything they were doing to hear him. "Remember the time Dad's Latvian folk dance CD disappeared, & I blew up at the rest of you?"   
"Oh, no!" whispered Angelica as her face drained of color, her eyes wide with terror.   
"Yeah," recalled Tommy. "It turned out that Angelica took it, as I remember."   
"Well, after the rest of you had left, Angelica told me that there were two kinds of people in the world: the kind that made things better, like her;" to a chorus of "HA!"s, "and the kind that gets in the way, like me." Audible gasps from the others, even Timmy. "She told me that there was nothing I could do about it, & that everyone would be much better off without me." Now the gasps bordered on cries of anger. "And it was only because of an 'It's a Wonderful Life' dream that I didn't run away from home that very day." By this time, Chuckie was in tears; and now no one had a kind word or look for the sour Pickles.   
"You nearly drove my Chuckie away from us?"   
"I almost didn't have a brother because of you?"   
"When it was all your fault in the first place?"   
"That's low even for you, cousin."   
"These people are going to make some psychiatrist friends of mine a lot of money because of you, Angelica."   
*WHAM!!* That was the sound of fists hitting the table, Chuck's fists. All attention was now riveted on him.   
  
The preliminaries had concluded; it was time for the main event, time for the showdown. Time for the day of reckoning, Angelica's day of reckoning, and Chuck would exact it. All of his legal skills went into his address. Despite criminal prosecution not being his forte, he had had years to prepare this case.   
"First of all, Angelica, I must say how proud I am. Of your husband, who has pulled off a miracle in overcoming your sweet teeth. Which probably meant he had to get you an entire new set."   
"Hey!" Timmy wasn't certain what Chuck had meant by that, but he wasn't sure he liked it.   
Chuck, momentarily apologetic, swung around to his fellow redhead. "I'm sorry, Timmy --- sorry because she's your wife --- but believe me, she's had this coming for a long, long time."   
He then turned his wrath on she who had been the bane of his existence. The hurt that followed was the pent-up rage spawned from a million indignities and other unpleasantries over the years, a well-channelled tantrum from his inner child. This was his moment, for which he'd waited practically his entire lifetime, and he would not be denied.   
  
"I remember the first time we ever met, Angelica." he began, his face flushed redder than usual. "Do you?"   
No answer.   
"Just about the first words out of your mouth were to scare me out of playing with Phil & Lil. Just like you talked Tommy out of playing with me, and the twins out of playing with him. From that came every other scheme you've ever hatched to separate us. Tommy vs. the rest of us. Lil vs. the rest of us. Me vs. the others. Phil vs. Lil. Tommy vs. Phil. Lil and me vs. Tommy and Phil. Ever since the very beginning, you wanted to cause trouble. You were trouble. You were... Phil?" Chuck interrupted himself. "What's the name of that guy in the comics? The one who fed off of the misery of others?"   
Phil was glad to be able to answer him right away, and he did. "Um, you mean Darkseid?"   
"Yeah, that's the one." He then returned his focus to Angelica. "That's who you're like. You're a female Darkseid, feeding off of our unhappiness. How else to explain it? Why else would you have wanted to set us against each other? Why else would you want us to be unhappy? Why else would you feel compelled to ruin every chance we ever had to have fun? That time with the box? You tried to take it away from us, it came apart, much to your delight. So we started playing with the pieces and you got angry. You took the pieces away from us, stomped on them, and shouted, 'STOP HAVING FUN!!!' And that wasn't the only time, not by a long shot. You've always been the grinch, you've always wanted to ruin the good times of others. You and your boundless capacity for hate.   
"And greed, let's not forget that. Greed and gluttony. There's nothing you wouldn't have and didn't put us through to get more sweets for yourself. More candy, more cake, more cookies, especially cookies. No wonder you got diabetes in high school! Remember what I said to you at the confrontation? It still goes.   
"I've been saving this." So saying, he opened his briefcase, and pulled out a piece of stiff paper, with which he hit the table. He then picked it up, and shoved it in her face, so to speak. "Remember this?"   
Some of the others tried to get a good view of the paper. Kimi was the first to get a good enough look. "That looks like a nutrition chart."   
"It is a nutrition chart." her brother returned. "And if you'll notice, most of the stuff is crossed out in crayon. All the meats, all the grains, dairy, fruits & vegetables, everything but junk food."   
"What does it mean?" the doctor asked.   
"That's obvious; in her childhood, she was on a crusade to restrict her diet to junk food." Chuck then swung his baleful gaze on the blonde yet again. "If she could have, she'd have had nothing but sweets all her life, and endless supplies of it. Another person she could be compared to is Augustus Gloop. Or am I the only one who's read Charlie & the Chocolate Factory?"   
"We've all seen the movie, Chuck; we know who you're talking about." put in Phil.   
The agent nodded acknowledgement before starting in again. "How many schemes did you come up with to get sweets for yourself, Angelica? The talking Spike scheme? The kidnapped Cynthia scheme? The fortune telling scheme? And how many times have you played sick or hurt to get more sweets?"   
Then it was back to the others around the table. "That dream I told you guys about? I saw how she would have turned out. She was as big as a whale. She'd long since taken everything that was Tommy's including his parents. What happened to her own parents I don't know, maybe she ate them. I wouldn't put it past her. Anyway, she was in bed; only one part of her body was working, and guess which part."   
"Her mouth?" came from his fiancee.   
"Her mouth. It was constantly open and in motion. She was only doing two things, eating and screaming. And the junk food kept on coming, but it was never enough."   
"Now that I think about it." Tommy remembered, "Dad did mention something in passing once. One time when she was staying over at our house? I don't remember the circumstances, but we thought her leg was broken, and then she was demanding, oh! she was demanding."   
"So what's new?" several voices were heard in concert.   
Tom continued. "It got to where Dad was making chocolate pudding for her at four in the morning because, as he put it, 'he'd lost control of his life'."   
Chuck nodded. "That's just what I'm talking about. She never knew anything about kindness or compassion or caring for anyone but herself. Everyone exists for no reason other than to serve her. It's like she has to be the big boss, and we all have to be her slaves!   
"And even that wasn't enough. It's not enough for her to use us, she had to abuse us too. Always pushing us, pulling our hair, hitting us, taking and / or breaking our stuff, generally making us miserable, laughing when she made us cry.   
Now, yet again, he turned upon Angelica the full force of his fury. "Deny it if you can, Angelica! Every time someone had to go through something, you were always the first to take that knife and twist that thing, so to speak. Like when I went through potty training, or had chicken pox. Or when Tommy had to go get a shot. Or when I swallowed a watermelon seed. Or when I was afraid of sliding, or of dustbunnies, or of the car wash. Or before Dad & Mom met, how you tried to be a mother to me. Or your own twisted version, at least."   
"I remember the sliding." Susie contributed. "You had him in tears, Angelica."   
Chuck grimaced with that particular memory. "And just because I wasn't there at the time, don't think I haven't heard about what a comfort you were when Tommy got his first cut."   
And now he really started in on her. "It's all about you, Angelica. It's always been about you, and no one else. Explain your actions any other way, if you can. Why did you break Tommy's clown lamp? Why did you hide my glasses? Why did you re-break the toys when Susie fixed them? Why did you try to get us to look and act sick? Why did you have us lie to Susie that time? Why did you play all those tricks and plant evidence so we'd blame Dil? Why did you try to turn Dil into a criminal, like you? Why did you give me the Cinderella treatment after Dad & Mom got married? Why did you trade Phil for some toy? Why did you tell me Tommy was going to replace me in the family? Why did you tell them I was an alien? Or that the sky was falling? Or that Dil disappeared into the computer? Or that the stars were falling? Or that I was allergic to Kimi? Or that Tommy would disappear if Dil got his old toys, and don't get me started on Susie's sister Yvonne."   
"And now, after all of that, you expect us to let you take charge of the most important day in our lives? You beat everything, you know that? You put the 'ic' in 'pathetic'."   
"Ouch! Borrowing insults from Steve Urkel; now that's low." Phil muttered, to light digs in his sides from both sides.   
He could see the tears welling up inside her. He had her on the ropes, and he knew it, but he didn't care; just take it out of all the misery she'd inflicted on him over the years. Something within him told him he shouldn't be enjoying this, but he did. He knew that it was cruel, but was it any worse than what she'd done?   
And now he wound up for the coup de grace. "Angelica, you're a bully. You alaways have been. We tried to get along with you, as if we had any choice. Tommy usually came to your defense, which he probably felt obligated to do as you're his cousin. But there's no defense for you. If you had the intention to prove to us just how bad you were, mission accomplished. You're a mean, cruel, invidious, odious, obstreperous, small-minded, megalomaniacal excuse for a human being. You're a monster, Angelica! You were hateful from the day we first met you, and it worked Angelica, it worked."   
By now he was in her face. This would be the devastating finale. "Because I hate you, Angelica. Do you hear me? I! HATE! YOU!"   
  
His work done, Chuck stepped back to the table, sunk into his seat, and drove his head down onto his crossed arms, where it stayed. The others looked at him, then at Angelica, their collective thoughts teeming with memories Chuck's indictment had stirred up. They had some pity for her, but not much.   
It was all too much. Despite the front she put up most of the time, Angelica C. Pickles-McNulty did have feelings, & they now came full force down her face as she collapsed into Timmy's arms. Timmy would have fallen with his wife's weight suddenly thrust upon him, had Dil not put a chair under them at the critical moment. Time passed as Angelica --- under the withering glares of the others --- tried with her tears to atone for years of cruelty. Timmy said nothing; he just held her, patiently waiting as she cried out years of frustration.   
  
If Timmy McNulty didn't know everything he'd found out about his wife during their now six year marriage, only his wedding vows to her would have kept him from turning his back on her --- although the vows would have been enough --- but he did know. He knew how she could hurt. He knew what she had told him in the private sanctuary of the marital bed. He'd heard her dream out loud of wanting to play with the others but being held back by her own prejudices about those younger than her. He knew of the troubles she'd had with her parents, who she had perceived as wanting her to win, to be on top, in all areas of life, no matter the cost. He'd been there for her when the rift had healed, when she'd found she'd been wrong about so much, about her parents, about her younger friends, & yes, about him.   
For he also remembered when they had put their hostility for each other aside, & taught themselves & each other to look beyond what was on the surface. He could empathize with her, having been a bully himself. One a first-born & one an only child, they'd butted heads early & often in life; & when they had decided to give each other a chance, their similar bullying pasts & the psyches beneath same had stood them in good stead in knowing & being there for each other. As her jag subsided, he brought himself out of his reve to face her friends, who now wanted to kill her. Almost.   
  
"Tommy, Chuckie, the rest of you, right now you are as angry with my wife as you have ever been in your lives, and I can see why you would be; but please, hear me out. I know Angelica, how kind she can be, how tender and vulnerable she is when you look under the surface. I also know what she was, a bully. I can understand what she's going through; I've been there myself. Remember my birthday party? The one where I shut out you girls because you were girls?" Lil & Susie nodded, remembering. "And that backfired, as I remember.   
"See, I know what it is to be a bully. I know the mindset that goes with it. You see others so happy, so close with each other, & you want in on it. But for some reason, whether because they're younger or because any of them are different from you in any way, you find that you can't. So because you don't dare ask to be included, your stunted mind moves you to what you think is the only alternative: if you can't participate in the happiness of others, you'll just have to make sure that others aren't happy either. And so, the bully is born. I know that seems like such a crock now, but to the mind of one who is just barely out of diapers such things make so much sense, sometimes. And the more you want to be happy, the more frustrated you feel, so the more you hurt others.   
"I can't answer for what she did to you guys 15 to 25 years ago --- I repeat, 15 to 25 years ago! --- but I do know what she really thinks about you."   
"Timothy, no!" came a sad wail from the bundle in his arms.   
"I'm sorry, babe. You wanted to tell them anyway, if you'll recall. And if you keep blowing your chances..." He stroked her cheek as a gesture of assurance with his free hand, then turned his attention to the others.   
"Listen, I know so many things about her, things which I have no right to tell. But I can tell you she's always been so proud of you, even before your successes. And afterward, well.   
"You might remember, she was always there. She was there in college. Your football games, Tommy. Dil's baseball games, Phil & Lil's performances, Kimi's track meets & field exercises, she was even in the theater whenever it was Susie's turn to operate. At the Olympics when Kimi & Dil won gold. And later, for Kimi's pro meets & Dil's minor league games. She was there for your law school graduation, Chuckie, & when you passed the bar & for Susie's medical school graduation. When Phil & Lil landed their show, she was there too. She was in the studio audience for the first few performances. She was there for all of these events, & more; I know, because I was there beside her.   
"She keeps pictures of all of you in places of honor at home, & on her desk at the office. And wallet size in her billfold; she'll pull them out & show them to people at the drop of a hat. Do you remember she said somehow people always found out she was a Pickles? Who do you think told them? Ordinarily, she would have just dropped her maiden name; but she was so fond of you, Tommy, of all of you," as his hand swept the table, taking them all in, "that she wanted to keep alive some connection to her past, to you, no matter where we were or how far from you.   
"And Chuckie, I know this is going to sound strange, but you were always her favorite. She actually had a crush on you, but if she couldn't handle being friends with people younger than her what do you think her mind was telling her about romance with a younger person? She always did have a weakness for redheads." as his hand went to his own hair. "But she couldn't even consider pursuing anything along those lines, so she took out her frustrations the only way she could. And because she felt more strongly toward you, her instincts fought back that much harder, so she was that much rougher on you.You ever hear that song, You Always Hurt the One You Love? It's sick, I know, but that's just the way the twisted mind of a bully works; believe me, I know from personal experience whereof I speak. You could be right about the gang needing therapy, Suze. I know she has needed quite a bit to help her come to terms with her feelings. But it's made her a better person than the Angelica all of you used to know. In fact, here's her card," he said as he pulled a business card out of his wallet.   
The card made its way around the table to the resident medical expert, Susie. "Yes, I know her; she's the best."   
"Feel free to make an appointment, any of you. If it will help we'd be willing to pay for the therapy; we can afford it --- not that you can't --- it would be a start toward healing the damage that she has caused. Please, listen to one who knows, a grudge only hurts those who hold it. You guys are better than this, better than she used to be.   
"She told me about the club she invented, the paces she put you guys through with the intention of separating one of you from the others. And she told me about how you started your own club, Tommy, and let everyone join, even her. She told me about the business party she had, excluding you guys unless you met certain conditions. And after she threw you guys out, how lonely it was there all by herself. And so many other instances where she wanted to belong & took all sorts of perverted means to get it, or how you repaid her unkindness with kindness.   
"Please," he gestured to his wife, now crumpled into a ball in his lap, almost fetal. "Look inside your hearts for the mercy that I know is there. It won't be easy, but it must happen, for all of your sakes as well as hers."   
  
His defense done, Timmy looked around the table. Chuck's head was still down, but otherwise, he'd apparently carried the day. He half-smiled.   
Then, with some difficulty, he rose, still holding his wife. "Come on babe," he whispered, "we'd better get home."   
"You two have a place around here?" asked Tommy.   
"It's for when we're in town. Equidistant between Drew & Charlotte's and the McNulty compound." And with that, he started to carry his bride toward the front where their car was waiting.   
"Hey, Tim."   
"Yes, Tom?"   
"We will work this out."   
"I know." Tim's gaze fell on Angelica again, noticing a semblance of peace only now starting to return to the face. "She's such a dear, even if she sometimes has too much spunk for her own good."   
"I wouldn't mind a bit more spunk, dear." Angelica murmured to her husband, surprising all there; apparently, she was starting to feel better. Then when the meaning of her statement sunk in, reactions hit the group, ranging from shock to embarrassment to in Timmy's case a smile of love tinged with rakishness.   
"We'll talk about this later, babe." Timmy whispered back, surreptitiously communicating his intent with a lick on the ear hidden by a hand, which sent Angelica into noticeable shivers.   
And with that, he continued carrying her until they reached their rental car. He put her inside the passenger side seat, buckled her in, then walked around to the driver side & got in himself. Next stop for them, home, where they would recuperate from their ordeal, the one after the plane.   
  
  
  
And that was an ordeal, wasn't it? I'm sorry if things were a bit heavy, but imo some things have to be dealt with. Don't worry; I'm writing this thing, so these things will be amicably resolved. And steps in that direction --- positive steps --- will be taken, in the next chapter, Discussions & Dreams In Darkness (hey, they can't ALL be winners). In the meantime I'd appreciate reviews, and I'll try not to take so long next time. I'm Nftnat, on e-mail I'm Nftnat@aol.com , and on IM I'm Nftnat . Please, feel free to contact me. Cya later. 


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